#5 Farmers Markets
January 18, 2008 by clander
This one is a no-brainer and served as the inspiration for the photo on the far right. That photo described the woman as a “local herb merchant.” Everything about that description is white.
White people like Farmers Markets for a number of reasons. The first is their undying need to support local economies (see future post), and the idea of buying direct from the farmer helps them assuage the fears instilled in them from reading Fast Food Nation (and yes, every white person has read this book).
White people also like Farmer’s Markets because it is outdoors (they love being outdoors), they can bring their dogs and children in expensive strollers, and they get to see other white people. If they are single, this is a good place to meet other single white people who share their passion for sustainability.
I miss you guys! Hugs and kisses Anerythristic, be back in a few!
I pooped my pants
White people like to analyze their food. At the farmers market the white organic farmers and the Hispanic farmers will let you sample and can talk about the food. The one year a black person tried to run a pastry/baked goods stand at the local farmers market, the failed miserably because they wrapped everything in plastic wrap, they used foam containers instead of recycled paper bags, and they would not sample or talk to the patrons.
What happened to my comment?
“their passion for sustainability.” Ha!
I’m so white that on Saturday mornings when I take out my dog I say, “Let’s go to the Farmer’s Market” and henot only knows where we’re going and pulls in the right direction, but when we get there, he stops at each stand that gives him food.
now of course there is a logic problem between the statement “the fears instilled in them from reading Fast Food Nation (and yes, every white person has read this book).” and the previous post’s “Fact #2 - White people like feeling smart without doing work - 2 hours in a theater is easier than 10 hours with book.” considering fast food nation was successfully filmed.
That man is basically clear, therefore ineligible for any colour at all.
10 hours to read Fast Food Nation? Obviously you’re an uneducated colored person, us whites read the whole book during our lunch break.
this blog is disgusting
Fuck you, bitch. Shut your whine hole and get me a beer or I’m going to punch you in the baby, too.
I once knew a white guy who was a local herb merchant, but then he got arrested for it.
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
64% of people in the US on welfare are White!
Whites hate to admit (the government is happy that you feel this way) that they are worse off then most of the population, but since its not uncommon to see or be related to a white person that is rich or well off the disquise remains. Visit the Mid-West or states such as Idaho, Montana, ND, SD, etc… where there are so few Blacks and other minorities and you will see poverty that will spin your head around and viola all the faces are white.
If it makes you feel any better:
stuffwhitepeoplelike - abortion
stuffwhitepeoplelike - believing everything they read
stuffwhitewomenlike - believing affimitive action does not pertain to them.
There; now call me racist! Actaully I consider myself ignorant for playing your game “Anonymous”
whats wrong with abortion? more people should get them so theres less cul de sac women pushing their double wide strollers through crowded places where little kids should not be allowed
ahhhh this whole website is stupid.
im quite sure non-white people have abortions too. infact i saw adverts for it when i went to south africa this year. its not a thing you can avoid in any country.
anti-abortion people annoy me. it all seems pretty idealistic to think it shouldnt be legal. its not even as if id ever have one, and i dotn necessarily think its the right thing to do but aaahhh fundamentalists annoy me. people that try and impose all their opinions onto everyone and make humungeous genralisations and stuff.
Oh snap! (cool terminology). I’m white and I not only love farmers’ markets, I grow food for farmers markets! Yes, I’m an organic farmer. I am so ashamed I will flog myself with kohlrabi for 7 hours. Damn, just when I thought I wasn’t one of “those” white people.
I feel so validated. I hate vegtables, and the places that sell them. Despise going to the Farmers Market. And the off-leash park. Hate the obsession with food, children, pets, self, self-actualization, spirituality, home renovations, and travelling. I do like money, however. And reading.
this one hurts.
i love farmers markets.
i lived practically next door to one fer 10 years and never went.
now, 10 years later, me and my girl drive 30 miles one way to go to the same FM.
I really do live next door to a farmers market. And I’m a vegetarian. And I drank espresso so much that i got a hernia in my esophagus in 2 years. (BTW). I guess this is all in good fun, but it does seem like the items on this list have rather cynical explanations. Ye of little faith…
Also a lot of these explanations seem to imply that all white people are rich. A phallacy, and a bold one. I live in a small liberal rural town in upstate new york…and yet most of my friends are not rich, and a lot of the people that really live here are middle class or poor. I have seen the “white people” that come up here to get charmed, go back to their roots and buy “local” overpriced stuff. But we call them cidiots.
I noticed also on this list it said that white people hate republicans. If that were true Bush would never even have been in office. A lot of idiot white people voted for him, and practically noone else. So my conclusion would be that white people don’t hate republicans, because a lot of them are republicans.
One last note, a lot of white people are voraciously the same religion as their parents.
I think you must live in the city, and have become fed up with BS, who wouldn’t be. But just know this, not all white people are from cities, and not all white people are niave culture clowns.
To make you happy, we can say that SOME white people dont have a sense of humor. or that SOME white people dont realize that even though you don’t consider you or your friends rich, compare yourselves to people around the world. Perhaps you should get out of your cocoon more often?
Well if you knew your stuff…..they don’t allow dogs at the farmers market.
Who ever wrote this had way too much time on their hands…look at me…I’m spelling correctly. What a concept.
Some people may find this funny….but I don’t. If you are practicing half this stuff, and YOU are white because you actually care about “something” other than yourself, its a good thing in my book. Guess I have to eat grey meat from McDonald’s, throw my McDonalds bag out on the freeway, and think inside the box….guess that’s the NONwhite way to do it.
Here’s to you FAT & CANCEROUS AMERICA.
You are taking this blog way too seriously woman. lighten up bitch
RE: Annonymous #11
“stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!”
We smoke opium, ass. Heroin is for fashion models and Vietnam vets.
Apparently a stuff that white people like is having no sense of humor.
I take my dog to the farmer’s market at Union Square weekly. Yes they are allowed there. And yes I am a white. So white that my vegetables are local and organic and my dog is a rescue and enjoy mentioning how he was so traumatized by his past.
Good on ya AA. I’m with you on that - it’s all about a healthy sense of humour and being able to laugh at yourself
sooo true
Are you sure you’re speaking for today’s white person?
The new white person’s food book The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan.
Joey is right. I work at a library, and white people are constantly checking out The Omnivore’s Dilemma, along with Michael Pollan’s new food book as well. There are holds on most of the copies of both. I was assigned TOD in college and never read it, or even bought it for that matter. This omnivore’s only dilemma is trying to figure out how to get to Burger King before it closes.
Wait, wait, wait…
While you say every white person has read Fast Food Nation, it is by no means a WHITE PERSON book. It is actually required reading now in my culinary classes and I have (politely) asked many a person to take a quick look at it’s contents simply to educate them on the state of the food they consume everyday. Particularly since most of the people I know subsist primarily on fast food. I only wish they could afford to hire me to cook for them on a weekly basis. Which ironically is mostly white, upper-class families who visit… Farmers…. Markets…..
damn…
funny posts, though. And given my vocabulary, would you guess I am not from this country, but from Latin America?
Actually, it was your good vocabulary that clearly gives away the fact that you are NOT from the US.
This blog is hilarious. (And I’m white. And I love farmer’s markets and riding my bike.) That angry white person up there is making me feel embarrassed. don’t you hate when white people are uncool like that?
PS., I love Michael Pollan!
Don’t forget the other reason people go to farmer’s markets are to bring their cloth shopping bags and show off to each other that they’re helping to save the earth too. Mine is green!
My shopping bag is had sewn with organic bamboo cloth.
You need to mention Michael Pollan.
isn’t that person in the picture… a dude?
This might be the funniest blog I’ve ever read. Such great satire! (Thanks for leading me here, Just Jared.) It’s all so true! I come from a predominately (about 99%) white outer ring suburb of Cleveland and they started having farmers’ markets on our town square a few summers ago. God, the yuppies love their farmers’ markets. I actually knew people who would go just to “walk around and see who else is there.” My parents would go every week and spend a ton of money on stuff we never ate. Everything I’ve read so far is so true!
you should precise for american white person rich and educated and living in a big city .
This site is funny, and definitely head on (though, of course, reverse racist).
As a white person though, its important to note that almost everything listed on here fits the stereotype of only a certain segment of the white population: the blue-state, yuppie types.
Come down here to South Carolina or anywhere else in rural/red America, and you will find white people who abhor all of these things (Whole Foods, indie rock, “diversity” for the sake of diversity) as any other group of people looking in from the outside.
So, to be fair, 29% of white people are registered democrats, and of those, a large percentage are blue-collar workers in the Rust Belt who despise pretentiousness, therapy, and divorce.
I’d say you are only talking about 1/4 of the American white population.
Now, let me go take a cab to the 711 and ponder all the South Asian stereotypes I can come up with.
“Reverse racist”? Are you semi-retarded or something?
———————–
Racism (racist):
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
———————–
How — in any way, shape or form — is racist monologue (actual, semi-comedic, satirical, hyperbolic, whatever kind) “reverse” here?
Either the posts are race-based or they aren’t, and either you find the content to be prejudicial or you do not. The posts are indeed based on racial viewpoints and observations, so we have the first one. The idea that they are somehow espousing intolerance or hatred is debatable, but let’s say you *do* find them prejudicial (for the sake of argument and as implied by your use of the word “racist”). If the comments are racially based and prejudicial, that would be called “racist”, regardless of which race the author is or which race they are talking about. If they are not racially prejudicial, it’s not racism, but something else.
“Reverse racism” is a useless, meaningless term. Pay attention, fucktard.
There’s one in my town that is annoyingly hip (mainly white) that I avoid until tomato season. Gotta have the ‘maters.
[...] We talked about a Whole Foods was coming to Richmond, something Carrie is very excited about. There was some discussion about organic foods vs. locally-produced foods purchased from farmers markets. [...]
Yeah, what I don’t get is the people who are offended. This is hilarious!
I’m loving this blog. I am white and love to poke fun at our racial stereotypes…and everyone else’s to be honest. However, since moving to the Gulf Coast, I see about a 50/50 mix of blacks and whites at the Farmer’s Market. Don’t know if it’s just because there a closer ratio in the population or what but the farmer’s market down here is definitely not just a white thing.
Oh, and for all the white people who are offended…don’t take life so seriously. If you can’t laugh at yourself, well…I mean…um…you suck.
waste of money. only snobby rich liberals shop there.. idiot.
And Yet Again…
not eating crap = sissy white stuff
P.S. Did you know that Fast Food Nation author Eric Schlosser was an Executive Producer on the film “There Will Be Blood?”
(which I guess is a white film, because it won an Oscar)
One more thing: I think this blogger would say that eating vegetables AT ALL* qualifies as white. You know it.
*other than french fries
I DONT AGREE WITH THE ASIAN COMMENT
. i HAVE ONE ASIAN FRIEND (GUY) AND ALL MY OTHER WHITE GUY FRIENDS… WE HAD A DISCUSSION THE OTHER DAY.. NONE OF US FIND ASIAN GIRLS ATTRACTIVE, INCLUDING MY ASIAN FRIEND.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?
First, capslock off, jackass.
Second, wrong fucking topic/post, you brainless sack of gelatin.
People like you make me wish there were apportioned areas of the internet based on some measurement of critical thinking and communication skills.
I can see the signs now… “Slower thinking people keep to the AOL network, please.”
[...] Organic, check. Farmer’s market, check. Whole Foods, check. Of course they miss an important detail for Whole Foods, the free [...]
[...] it’s only a matter of time before they’re participating in Poetry Slams, shopping at Farmer’s Markets, and formulating the image of their ideal mates based on TV shows like [...]
I’m laughing so hard I just teared up a little. wow…
[...] #5 Farmer’s Markets [...]
[...] #5 Farmer’s Markets [...]
#27 james smith: reverse racism doesn’t exist dumbass…racism is racism.
quick, i don’t want to be an uncle tom, let me do the exact opposite of this list! Where’s mah mikky D’s? I’m luvin it! mmmm mmm!
Ha. Great site. I am 33, white, and liberal–and I think this stuff is hilarious. I fit in about 50% of this–the other 50% I make fun of (microbrews, etc.)
That said, the first Farmer’s Market’s I went to were actually in small, rural towns in Southern Illinois and Missouri. Locals went to the town square and sold their fruits, veggies, baked goods, etc. It was a good place to get fresh stuff in one sitting.
It wasn’t until I experienced the Farmer’s Market “experience” in Madison, Wisconsin did I realize it was the “white” person thing to do. I like the Farmer’s Market–but more so because I remember the original ones I went to back home.
Anyway–great site. I have to be able to laugh at myself and I certainly fit the bill here
My mom and her white middle age liberal lady friends will drive an hour and a half to Madison every week to go to that damn farmers market! It really is quite an “experience” to say the least. To make matters worse, my mom will talk to every single vendor for FOREVER about what they are selling, how they grow it, when they first got into the farmers market scene, etc, etc. This often makes the farmers market experience day-long affair.
I’m not gonna lie; I like checking out the Madison farmers market too. But spending 3 hours driving once a week so I can buy some organic honey sticks just isn’t worth it!
white people are kind of like stamps…
http://www.garbarrassing.com
jesus this post is so true, i worked on a local farm located in a rural area near yuppieville suburbia and goddamn do i hate ‘those’ kind of white people. the ironic part is all the lies the farmers perpetrated on their poor unsuspecting rich white clientele.
I’ve never read the book. (I have read some others)
We have a farmer’s market in Eugene (the ultimate city for white people), I only go to listen to white guys play a didgeridoo. I never buy anything.
Stuff Covert Rascist Pseudo Ethnic Comedians LIKE:
1. Making fun of white people, in what they consider to be a witty way, so much so it becomes annoying
2. Talking about white peoples ’strange’ quirks 50% of their free time because theyre not racist just “curious”
3. Saying things like “nothing personal but white people are sooo…”
4. Being literally obsessed with white people, what white people do, how white people act and accussing everyone who isnt white of being white because their skin happens to be somewhat light in color.
5. Not having a life that doesnt involve talking about white people or someone they perceive to be white for obnoxious amounts of time…daily
6. Pretending they are smarter then “white people” or those they perceive to be white. Secretly wishing they were white in order to feel better about themselves. NOTE: they would never admit this though so dont ask
7. Never shutting up about white people to the point where “white” people dont want them around because they are so damn annoying and insecure
8. Hating “white” people whether they are white or not (but appear white) they love loathing white people. In a joking manner of course! That way they can accuse you of not having a sense of humor. It seems they would make a career of it if they could.
9. avoiding getting a life
10. not being capable of ‘getting over it’
Flip the script and white folks are this way to just about everyone else in reverse. With a smug superiority complex to boot!
“Smug superiority complex”? That or you happen to feel inferior in your own head because of your shitty self-esteem and it has nothing to do with race at all.
[...] the results, with excerpts from the blog and links. Tell us what you think in our comments section.#5 Farmer’s Markets: “White people like Farmers Markets for a number of reasons. The first is their undying need to [...]
[...] take on my favorite green topics, with excerpts and links to the topic page on the original blog.#5 Farmer’s Markets: “White people like Farmers Markets for a number of reasons. The first is their undying need to [...]
[...] take on my favorite green topics, with excerpts and links to the topic page on the original blog.#5 Farmer’s Markets: “White people like Farmers Markets for a number of reasons. The first is their undying need to [...]
Regarding post #14: ANONYMOUS WHITE GIRL
Au contraire, mon frere! Many Farmers Markets do indeed allow folks to bring their pooches.
Stop by Rhinebeck, New York’s farmers market and you’ll see all sorts of dogs, having a good time socializing with all the other lucky pooches out and about for the day.
I much prefer the company of the four-footed creatures than the snotty little kids the uppity New York City weekenders are pushing around in their ridiculous carriages, not mindful of how to yield to anyone outside their own bloodlines.
…..and don’t even get me going about how rude (”Hey! I was next!”
these temporary residents behave.
Evidently one ’stuff’ that is liked almost universally, regardless of race or ethnicity, is the misuse of the plural possessive.
An excellent point (if a little pedantic ;-). Now head to xkcd (http://www.xkcd.com/386/) and vent about stepping on your own punchline with improper sentence structure.
I live in western PA. Very rural.
Cheap, fresh veggies, bread, honey, butter, etc…
Plus, the added bonus of being white! Ahhhhh!
Funny, I live next door to a farmer’s market and maybe 10% of the shoppers there are white. Of course, I live in a big city.