#10 Wes Anderson movies
January 20, 2008 by clander
White people love Wes Anderson movies more than they love their kids. If a white guy takes a white girl to a Wes Anderson movie on their first date, and neither of them have seen it, they will immediately commence a relationship that is reflected in songs by Ryan Adams and Bright Eyes.
Wes Anderson movies have this way of being sort of funny and a little clever, so white people in the audience will laugh like crazy. Also, if they don’t get the joke and other white people start laughing, they’ll all join in. It’s pretty much the case that if one dude with glasses laughs, the entire theater will be in stitches within 15 seconds.
If you find yourself in a situation with a white person, and an awkard silence falls over you. Mention any of the movies below and you will have something to talk about, and they will like you. Here are some approved comments:
- The Darjeeling Limited (2007) “It’s so great to see that he’s back, Owen Wilson is just fantastic.”
- Hotel Chevalier (2007) “Can you believe Natalie Portman got kind of naked?”
- The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) “I know a lot of people said they didn’t like this film, but I thought it was fantastic.” (Note: it is acceptable to be critical of this movie).
- The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) “This movie changed my life.”
- Rushmore (199
“This is when Bill Murray really changed in my eyes, he’s so fantastic in the movie, and Jason Schwartzman is a true star.” - Bottle Rocket (1996) “I saw this movie in 1994″
Classic. “This movie changed my life.” Hahaha! This post is almost as good as the Indie music one!
Life Aquatic and Darjeeling were both pretty boring. Haven’t seen Bottle Rocket, but the others are great. I know plenty of white people who hate Wes Anderson — they think he’s pretentious.
Darjeeling is worth the time, but a slower pace. Bottle Rocket is great.
Bottle Rocket was his best film by far. I saw it in 1994.
When I was 3.
Life Aquatic is my favorite Wes Anderson film and Darjeeling was great, why all the hate?
I pooped my pants
SO FUCKING HOT LET ME FUCK YOU
[...] 80s nights, reading david sedaris, drinking wine or microbrews, working for non-profits, watching wes anderson films, shopping at farmers markets, and going to film [...]
LOL I love this site.
I hate Wes Anderson with a passion. He peddles overrated garbage. These movies are so forgettable, I … what were we talking about again?
Oops, sorry. I almost got him confused with Wes Craven. That’s someone that white people watch when they think nobody’s looking.
[...] Wes Anderson movies: If a white guy takes a white girl to a Wes Anderson movie on their first date, and neither of them have seen it, they will immediately commence a relationship that is reflected in songs by Ryan Adams and Bright Eyes. [Link] [...]
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
Racist.
fuckwit!
You did the sombrero one twice. Maybe you need some ritalin.
Ok, you’re not a racist…you’re an anti-parodist
This website - making ignorant white people feel hip again, when all they’re really doing is being ignorant, white and hip all over again.
The Royal Tenenbaums really did change my life though. Obviously, in too white a way to be worth considering.
Haha. This website = everyone feeling like pretentiousness is ok. Including me.
Damn drunk.
Wes Anderson movies are just white masturbatory fantasies.
I have never masturbated to a Wes Anderson flick…oh, shit, ok I did to the Indian chick in Darjeeling Limited…and I’m planning on Natalie Portman…it’s on my to goo list.
I’m white and I’ve never even heard of Wes Anderson let alone seen any of his movie. High five bro!
Isn’t amazing that in EVERY Wes Anderson movie the young white guy gets rejected by young white girl and is then redeemed by young minority woman?
Did the kid in Rushmore get redeemed by a minority woman? I don’t remember that. Also don’t remember that happening in Tenenbaums; the one dude just hooked up with his adopted sister. I haven’t seen the other ones (I’ll make a point of it now, though, to see about this redemption issue).
in rushmore the hero is saved by the long suffering girl of chinese heritage
she’s vietnamese…you just don’t appreciate Asian culture do you…I’m kidding
But he was rejected by an older (than him) white woman and redeemed by a minority girl.
I don’t remember any minority woman redeemeing Steve Zissou, though…unless you count Jeff Goldblum.
what minority girl in the royal tenenbaums?
it’s been a while since i’ve seen it… perhaps i can use some life-changing again.
#9: You aren’t a racist, you are a douchebag.
Sorry, I meant #6. #9 you are cool with me.
This is so me, but I am West-Indian-Black.
Wes Anderson is nothing more than a designer, stuck in the 70’s. His mild success is loosely based on the popularization o one, if not two luke-warm (no pun intended) films at the beginning of his movie directing career. ANything since is, and has been total shit.
Number ten of stuff that white people like, you’ve failed me.
total shit? c’mon man. even if you don’t like the films as a whole or conceptually, there are many redeeming qualities in cinematography, art direction, score, dialogue, etc. you want total shit go see daddy day care, 2 fast 2 furious, big momma’s house 2, never back down, baby geniuses, scary movie 3, etc., etc….total shit. pleeeaaaaase.
And yet he makes a living doing what he loves…hmmmmm…sorry, I still like his movies better than your comment
That was rather a lazy hysterical Fox network style put down of a fine film maker’s work so far. Yes, he’s a meticulous designer but he has far more depth and far more to offer than other directors who started in design or advertising and who are ludicrously feted but have yet to produce anything substantial from under the slick commercial gloss (Ridley Scott comes to mind) Calm down!
Hah! Wes Anderson is amazing!
Hey #6
You are a racist! Way to be a small “minded” ignorant white guy
All those movies looked like crap so I never saw them. Guess you sucked at labeling a whole race based on movie choices then eh?
Um. why exactly are you commenting Pansy-Ponzi? you don’t even know what you’re talking about. love it. hate it. but steer clear of being the a-hole who doesn’t know jack about shit and still thinks that your opinion holds any value.
Life Aquatic = one of the ten best films of the decade so far.
The scene where Ned tells Steve that “Stevezi” doesn’t mean the same thing as “dad” gets me verklempt EVERY TIME. (and yeah, I’ve seen the flick a number of times)
Good call on Wes Anderson. We lib caucs love him!!!!
AWH! Leeches!…..What? Nobody else got hit?
I missed the next five minutes because I was on the ground.
Wes Anderson can establish a tone of mood in his films that only priviliged white people or people who interact with privileged white people on a daily bases can truly appreciate.
I love all his films.
I was just at lunch with two co-workers and we spent about 15 minutes talking about how great Wes Anderson’s style is. God, I am so white.
white people like to talk about pretentious, bourgie movies…
Wes Anderson movies look like he set up a bunch of baroque dioramas in shoeboxes and then does one long giant tracking shot for the whole movie. Plus they’re all about whiny white people’s problems which is lame.
which is hilarious in the same way this website is hilarious
as opposed to whiny minority problems? why can’t movies just be “entertaining” any more…whatever happend to that?
You know, I love this site because it’s true, and because I hope some elitist hipster somewhere reads this and suddenly realizes how transparent their interests and motives are to people who can, you know, see the world for how it really is.
That being said
Man, don’t hate on Wes Anderson movies. Hate on the people who enjoy Wes Anderson movies because they think they’re supposed to.
I loves me my Anderson movies :(.
I do, however, completely tolerate ragging on Jason Schwarzman. I don’t know what it is about him but that dude just rubs me the wrong way.
Wes Anderson is a genius. All that I can say.
Check. I’m white.
You could add the Christopher Guest “mockumentary” movies like Waiting for Guffman as well.
I’m white. I really liked Wes Anderson movies until I saw The Darjeeling Limited and had a conversation about how racist his films are.
I’m indian and I didn’t think The Darjeeling Limited was racist. I thought it was funny
I argue we are supposed to recognize how they are racist. So, yeah, but not discriminatory racist.
I mean, there all hegemonic white people and we are supposed to recognize that.
Darjeeling Limited? Racist? It seemed to me that all the Indian characters held the moral high ground in the movie. If anything, it makes fun of white guys.
white people also really really love those monte carlo films. im black and i cant stand them theyre not even funny!
i meant to say monte python
LOL…I like Monte Carlo better…I kept trying to figure out if you were talking about all those James Coburn movies…My Man Flint.
Strange. I would rate The Royal Tenenbaums as one of my favorite movies (but being so white and tolerant and culturally diverse, you know I simply can’t choose just *one* favorite movie, and therefore have many depending on my mood) yet I haven’t even enjoyed any of the other Wes anderson movies I have seen.
Wes Anderson is the definition of genius. The poster forgot to mention the sesquipedalian responses avid film-goers use to refer to Anderson, Scorsese, and Smith. Pretentiousness is important in any well-educated white person.
Hmmm…I think I’m white. I mean, I’ve always looked white and I think my parents think that they are white and yet, I’ve never even seen a Wes Anderson and don’t want to. I feel so confused and disoriented. What now? Do I stop going to farmer’s markets and start eating non-organic food? What about my bike? I just don’t know what to do…I need therapy.
life aquatic sucks, LOLZ
also, the darjeeling limited’s theme was pretty much “brown people are so CUTE!”
and i havent seen any of these movies…..but from the looks of the ones ive looked up tonite…i wont be watching them
All my white friends cream at anything triggering a thought of a Wes Anderson movie…
And a non-white friend complained that he didn’t get it…
And I tried to explain to him that it’s like when WE watch a movie with Asian Americans in it… it’s like THAT MOVIE’S TALKING TO ME ALONE ALL BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ELSE!!!
Well, that’s how white people feel when they see a wes anderson movie… It’s a “culture-baring” movie.
A wes anderson movie is to white people
As Ready-Made magazine is to white people
As LowRider magazine is to Chicanos….get it?
“It’s a white thing…”
(Wes anderson rules).
YEAH!!! And for all the detractors, it seem like everyone who dis’s Wes Anderson movies has seen every damn one of them…hell one guy even differentiated between Hotel Chevalier and Darjeeling Limited…I thought they were all one movie.
Okay, now you’re focusing on a really, really, select minority of whites. His movies rarely recoup their production costs, and NONE of them have gotten the attention of Sideways or Eternal Sunshine.
In fact, I would say guys (and I’m guessing it’s guys) who like his films are UNDATE-ABLE!
Now, if you want to make an entry for “films starring Paul Giamatti,” I think there’s a strong argument to be made there.
I couldn’t stand watching Life Aquatic. I walked out and half of our group begged to come with me. I still felt my time spent in the theater with that movie was a waste.
On another note, anyone like Snatch or Lock, Stock, Two Smoking Barrels? I would consider THOSE to be genius. Or close to it.
And Paul Giamatti does rule.
Um…so yeah, this entry was the one that made the site for me. Both Wes Anderson fans, my boyfriend and I saw Darjeeling Limited on our first date. And yes, we did immediately commence a relationship, and I have made him listen to my favorite Ryan Adams album. We are so white.
And Frank R, he is actually highly dateable.
Well, “E”, I stand corrected (though you may just be in that select minority–like that gal** who liked Brendan Fraser just the way he was–nerdy–at the end of “Bedazzled”).
I wish you and your boyfriend the best.
(**Actually you don’t say if you are male or female, but since WA and RA have no gay following, I’m guessing.)
LOVE Wes Anderson. Totally gay mate.
About 2 1/2 years ago I started a post on IMDB, “MOST PRETENTIOUS FILMMAKER OF LATE,” referring to this idiot. No lie, I literally received death threats on that post, people defend this yuppie prick to their graves…I’m white, and can’t stand the psudo-indie garbage this hack puts out…
On a side note, how about a post about Austin, Texas (Wes Anderson’s home town); white people love to say how trendy and art-driven this mosquito cesspool of a town is, what with their lame film and music festival, SXSW…
“what with their lame film and music festival, SXSW…”
congratulations, you sir are a dumbass. good luck in your unfortunate and obtuse life.
SXSW is pretty “transgressive” white though
Wes Anderson’s movies make being white look sexy.
From today’s London “Evening Standard”, by columnist Nirpal Dhaliwal:
“Turbaned ultra-cool jeweller Waris Ahluwalia hangs out with actress Chloe Sevigny and appears in the films of art-house directors Spike Lee and Wes Anderson”.
Yeah, baby. Ultra-cool by association with ultra-white.
OMG yes, you must do one on Paul Giamatti.
Or any of these indie darlings:
Hope Davis (for God’s sake she was in a movie called “The Secret Lives of Dentists”
Laura Linney (You Can Count on Me–film about nothing which moved me deeply; The Squid and the Whale–which had neither.)
Philip Seymour Hoffmann (has co-starred with both Linney and Davis)
Philip Seymour Hoffmann is AMAZING!
HEY, he got natalie portman to get naked…….that obviously says something about the guy!!
she is a goddess