#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
Gifted children yes, but at the same time making it perfectly clear that their children are in no way gifted based on hard work or genetic factors but due to the oppression of other people. Very important to remember…………..
More ideas: hospice. Fund raisers for hospice. “Friends of the library” type organizations. NPR fundraisers.
I pooped my pants
white people like 10 year olds that can do any complex mathematical calculation related to texas holdem in their heads in under two seconds but still have to wear a diaper
lol I know two dead head druggies and actually witnessed one of them smoking out of a bong and breast feeding her baby. She swears up and down her child is “gifted” we’ll see.
You’re an Idiot Savant, but without the pesky savant part.
hum…. I don’t know about white people being gifted they may have better schools and programs but I can’t say I even met a gifted white person. I lived in many places where I was the only black person in class and like the 5th in the school, I don’t remember the teaches ever saying any of them are gifted. White people may had book smarts but they damn sure don’t have any common sense. A person who lacks common sense is a very dumb person. I know white people are crazy, not only did they own slaves who they beat, raped, and killed. They are also perverts, They are who you see on nbc’s to caught a predator, Wanting to get with little girls and boys, I don’t think that is genius, What about the WHITE guy that got caught 3 times. Most serial killers are White, I think they all are WHITE expect one. At least blacks are genius enough not to kill everybody and rape kids, What about the WHITE women who lied about being raped by a black men, When all they wanted was some good D***, are they geniuses? They put innocent men in jail for nothing. Well, again I don’t know about them being geniuses, But I do know the person who wrote this article need to be locked up for not getting fact right
YOU ARE A MORON
“BLACKASCANBE on April 17, 2008 at 5:42 pm
White people may had book smarts but they damn sure don’t have any common sense. A person who lacks common sense is a very dumb person.
At least blacks are genius enough not to kill everybody and rape kids, What about the WHITE women who lied about being raped by a black men, When all they wanted was some good D***, are they geniuses?
But I do know the person who wrote this article need to be locked up for not getting fact right”
Facts are straight read up on it. it like one serial killer that was black and he was brain wash from the white-man war. I am a moron , but you thinks it ok for some one to write a article like, oh wait I am talking to a white person, no common sense
Luckily, we “white folks” have enough common sense to know that you are a minority among black people. Not all blacks are as feeble-minded as you are. Most are very well educated and able to see that this blog is a JOKE!
“Yeah, and I’m talking to a black person, no grammar or vocabulary. ”
That statement is AS idiotic YOUR statement:
“but you thinks it ok for some one to write a article like, oh wait I am talking to a white person, no common sense”
I’ve known and loved many people in my life: Whites, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Indians. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you need to take people as individuals, REGARDLESS of the amount of some fucking chemical in their skin or what some dipshit spews in an echo-chamber, like Jeremiah Wright, David Duke, or that retard who runs the World Church of the Creator.
I’m sorry that your experiences have tainted your view of Whites. At the end of the day, though, Racism, a form of HATE, is evil, and racists, whatever their color, are just fucking stupid. Grow the FUCK up!
Good God, this is a HUMOR website, and my blood pressure is through the roof!
just another white chick 2u on April 29, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Luckily, we “white folks” have enough common sense to know that you are a minority among black people. Not all blacks are as feeble-minded as you are. Most are very well educated and able to see that this blog is a JOKE!
SECONDED!
ur fired, oh yea, u were never hired cause you never showed up on the first day, i grew up with many black folks and i know, its whities fault because the whotoos chopped off the arms of the tootsies, oh no, my chickens have been roosting for many years and i own my chickens
Wow, what profound remarks.
tonight 30 black men will die at the hand of 30 other black men in the name of keeping it real. 10,000 black men will die in the name of this cause. keep it real and remember all this is whities fault. ur thought process is like cancer and if it was not for illeagels crossing the boarder, we would have no work force. you are forgetting that some of us whities grew up with blackies, schools, churches, court systems, neighbors, while you are keepin it real, i am giving my work to someone that will make me money, peace
Wow, I just remembered that I am white and I have never owned a slave and neither has a single person in my family (yup even if you go back hundreds of years). In fact, my grandparents grew up picking cotton in the fields with blacks and whites. Are you a slave? Oh yeah, probably not because it is almost non existent in the US now. Thanks for being a racist idiot. Also, your statistics are fucked up. White and black people are equally able to do evil. After all, who sold the slaves to white colonists? Other black people. Every person is capable of evil, it’s the choices we make, not the color of our skin, that dictates who we are.
Oh, and to this post… Only children with certain IQs were in the gifted programs in my schools. It was a small percentage of children, and they came from all ethnic backgrounds.
“Gifted children yes, but at the same time making it perfectly clear that their children are in no way gifted based on hard work or genetic factors but due to the oppression of other people.”
I supposed that would be _other_ white people’s children, not their own …
meritocracy explains all my successes ( and none of my failures)
[...] Another key factor of divorce is children. On average people who divorce, do so when their children are between the ages of 7-10. Before the birth of their first child, white people like to spend thousands of dollars on books that tell them how to raise children So instead of simply letting their child watch Hannah Montana or work on their jumpshot, they will take them on weird activities suggested by some over educated individual with a PHD or force them to read a book that is meant for a 9th grader. This often leads to white children hating their parents espcially when they don’t live up to their expectations. [...]
what about poor whites? i’m pretty sure we never got the whole gifted thing…
in fact, most of this blog seems to be about yuppie, middle- to upper- class whites.
no shit
“in fact, most of this blog seems to be about yuppie, middle- to upper- class whites.”
..who are, in fact, a minority of whites overall, aren’t they? i’m not even talking about middle-america, but everywhere. reading this, you’d think poor white people were some sort of rare exception. guess maybe it’s just that we poor white trash folk find this omg-its-so-true crap less amusing.
H-E-L-L-O? Poor whites aren’t funny. In the Bell Curve of Life, 50% of the population has an IQ of 100 or less, of which poor whites compose a large percentage, and I can guarantee you they aren’t writing writing clever essays about the more base appetites that tyrannize the upper middle class whites. This blog is brilliant in terms of social construct. Who wants to read hickish locutions or sentences ending in ‘at’. I’m sure most of the people who read this hilarious blog can in some way identify with references to that bourgeois faux affluence with which most of the middle class seems so entranced.
Huh?
It would be nice to have a detailed explanation of exactly what kind of white people this blog applies to. I try explaining it to people, but they always bring up white trash to counter the blog entries.
I’ve banged out 5 gifted children in my younger years–all from–I’m looking to get preggers again so I can contributed a 6th genius to the world!!….Well, I’m off to the local bar–wish me luck!
I’ve banged out 5 gifted children in my younger years–all from different fathers–I’m looking to get preggers again so I can contributed a 6th genius to the world!!….Well, I’m off to the local bar–wish me luck!
[...] #16 “Gifted” Children Stuff White People Like __________________ my guess is bull got boomrang in pants an cause it nine incha an only cause it not curvy cause it long an cause it strait like telly pole __________________ [...]
[...] #16 “Gifted” Children Stuff White People Like bukdow thread? __________________ my guess is bull got boomrang in pants an cause it nine incha an only cause it not curvy cause it long an cause it strait like telly pole __________________ [...]
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Don’t forget to mention doctor shopping until you find the one that’ll diagnose junior with ADD, thus earning him double-time on all exams. Remember, if a White Child isn’t excelling, it’s because he’s sick, not because he just isn’t excellent.
I blame women (I guess white women) for this one. Most of the ills of the world can be tracked to female vanity.
Go to hell, Jake. You see women as pushing their “gifted” children because they are the only ones who will step up to the plate and actually take responsibility for raising the kid. If it was left up to men, the kids would be gifted farters and pranksters.
All young white boys are gifted farters and pranksters.
The point is, all young white girls would also become gifted farters and pranksters, and unless white breeders turned to AI like their LGBT counterparts that would be the end of white people.
You may think that would be a good thing, but think of the nostalgia industry that came out of the antebellum South and multiply that by a factor of a billion.
Huh?????
I am a teacher and white people use this one to segregate their children from the less desirable children of color. It is really how amazing how many gifted white children there are when it means that your child can go into a special class set up for gifted children.
“With so many special kids it makes you wonder how we get so many average adults.”
I can’t remember who said it, but if it was you claim it.
this one guy my parents knew said his second grade kid was failing his tests on purpose because he was getting too bored with the work.
I was considered “gifted” until I was later found to be “emotionally handicapped”. That pretty much evened things out, though I did become “artistically inclined” in the process.
me– GUILTY! LOL.
Thank you, mommie.
My little boy Hank is a complete retard.
Well….. you did name him “Hank”…
hahahahahahaha
im a “gifted” kid with “add”(and ive never got double the time on my exam). the only thing i ever used it for was a ticket out of a crappy school. and about no color in the gifted program, please, i guess asian is the new white? come on people, if someone calls you smart and offeres you any benefits to make school less suck, regardless of weather or not its true, would you take it?
youd have to be “gifted” not to.
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
How about stupid?
how about annoyingly repetitive. jeesh.
That’s fucking hilarious! My mascara ran I laughed so hard.
stuffwhitepeoplelike-fucking goats
stuffwhitepeoplelike-trailers
stuffwhitepeoplelike-little boys
stuffwhitepeoplelike-there daughters
stuffwhitepeoplelike-belittling people
stuffwhitepeoplelike-killing people
stuffwhitepeoplelike-buying pussy
stuffwhitepeoplelike-selling pussy
stuffwhitepeoplelike-acid,heroin,crack,coke,ex
stuffwhitepeoplelike-died because of a drug
stuffwhitepeoplelike-music about suicide
stuffwhitepeoplelike-killing there kids
stuffwhitepeoplelike-rape
stuffwhitepeoplelike-smelling like wet dog
stuffwhitepeoplelike-not clean there body
stuffwhitepeoplelike-eating pussy
stuffwhitepeoplelike-thinking their better than somebody
I am not racist, I feel bad for even saying this but it is true, And for the record heroin is a white person drug blacks can’t effort it and alot of WHITE people died from it
the also like to go outside in the rain???????????????????
and thats why they smell like wet dog
Back in the Seventies when they put me in one, they gave us an IQ test you had to get 130 or better on. I guess they’ve changed the rules. Hippies are awesome.
Yeah that happened to me too. But this entry is so true! My parents never pulled me out of public school, and I’m not sure all or even most white parents are pointedly pulling their kids out of schools to ensure they are with other white kids (but then again, my mother teaches inner city kids for a living so we may have “weird” ideas about public education). Nonetheless, they were already starting the “I’m gifted, you’re gifted, we’re all gifted here!” process when I was in elementary school. Everybody wants to believe their kid is a genius.
I’m white and I hate all children. Let’s party.
“White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?”
has to be one of the funniest lines in the blogosphere!
I know a couple of people like that but honestly they usually only have one kid like that and then another with “problems” that they don’t always pass off as gifted.
the only “gifted” I want my kids to be is to be smart enough to qualify for some free college tuition. that’s a “gift” a parent can appreciate.
Aside from the fact that I have no desire to have children of my own, what is worse than being around a bunch of screamers, is also having their parents tell me how special and bright they are while their rugrats are picking their noses and demanding a piece of candy or they’ll defiantly poop their pants……what a genius!
oh I second this - I wish parents would just shut up and let their kids be kids.
I feel like such a sucker for struggling to pass the “enriched” and “excelled” classes now with all my fellow suburban pseudo-intellectuals . I should have stayed in the regular classes. I would have had a higher GPA and not have felt so inadequate.
I wish there was a time machine I could get into, so I could go have a talk with the 1988 version of myself.
Dang it.
yep I feel like the 8 advanced placement and 6 gifted courses I took in high school were a complete waste of time. I could have been enjoying life or something trivial like that. I wonder how many years I’ve already lost to stress.
To Mike: You still need a 130 IQ to technically be considered gifted, but there’s a little thing called ‘private testing’ where parents can pay for a few extra IQ points to be added onto their children’s scores.
I don’t know how much the ‘awesome hippies’ take part in that. They send their kids to alternative schools with no grades. Duh.
I’ve gone to an all gifted school since I was in second grade, and it’s true, atleast 85% of us are white and many of us have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. But I’d say it’s more of a rich parent trend, not a general white person trend. Most of the ‘ethnic’ kids at my school are fucking loaded, just like most of the white kids. It just happens that are a lot more snobby white people out there incessantly bragging about their kids.
yes I also went to a gifted/private school for a while. Regardless of skin color everyone’s the spawn of rich bastards who seem to care more about the bragging rights of rather than the well-being of their children. (and I had to stop attending because we couldn’t afford it, never have I been so grateful to be “poor”
The pressure isn’t on the students but the teachers to make sure that Jr. passes somehow. Extra donation to the school if he/she gets straight A’s.
Gifted testing and placement are different where I live. The gifted programs are all in the “black” schools. So it’s Kind of like telling the white “liberal” snobs if they want they’re children to be in the gifted program, they’ll have to attend them with black kids! Of course most of these ass-fucks wind up sending their fucked up kids to over-priced, “everyone is special”, discipline lacking, private schools. My son has benefited by going to a school where the teachers will tell him when he’s wrong, discipline him when he misbehaves, and kids will rough him up if he’s a smart-ass. That’s the real world folks! One day these kids may have to come out of their cushy, lilly-white world and face it.
I was in the gifted education program during most of my elementary school years in the mid-to-late 1970s, with a professionally tested IQ of 140, yet I later dropped out of Middle School (back when it was still called “Junior High School”
at age 13, and became a convicted felon, habitual drug user, and right-wing anarchist. It just goes to show that its not always a choice between smart kids who do well in school, and dumb kids who don’t. Some smart kids really just don’t do well in the intellectually stultifying environment of the American system of public education, where one is rewarded more for completing a seemingly endless series of mindless busy work assignments and otherwise obeying the rules without question, than for learning the material, innovation, just plain reacting intelligently to the supposedly educational experience, etc.
Never-the-less, despite how boring, repetitive, and essentially non-educational going to school was for me, I probably would have kept going, were it possible for smart, nerdy, shy kids to have friends back then. These days, it seems like schools are filled with all sorts of little cliques made up primarily of people who are outside the mainstream. Back in the 80s, the mainstream was all there was. If you weren’t a part of it, everyone hated you. There were other people who weren’t part of the mainstream either, but we were all such alienated, atomized individuals floating helplessly in a sea of constant, brutal hostility and contempt, that it simply never occured to any of us to hang out with each other and be our own group of friends.
But on the plus side, at least we weren’t whiney, faggoty-assed little “emo” twerps. Even if I die in prison one day, they’ll never be able to take that away from me.
*Rich* white folks have gifted children. Poor white folks have uppity brats who need to learn their place.
I grew up in a white trash family. Every one of us kids ended up in a classroom for the mentally retarded when we started in school. None of us ever stayed in the classroom we started in because the teachers knew we didn’t belong there.
How do I know this is true? My oldest sister got access to our school records. Funny thing was, none of the IQ tests used to track us into that class were in our records.
Oh man. The gifted kids.
I was in the G&T (gifted and talented) program until I got to high school, because then I stopped giving a shit. I never understood WHY I was there, until my mother told me that some second grade teacher found me reading some OMFG ADVANCED book (like Charles Dickens), threw me into tests that proved that I did indeed have a higher reading level than your average bear, and tossed me into classes where the other G&T kids looked down on the normal kids.
Fuck that. G&T classes involved way more homework, snooty little twats that suffered from localised elitism, and being forced to read the same ol’ drivel that the normal kids read, except at a much faster rate.
They were not special. I was not special.High school came around and I decided not to sign back up. Because of this, I’m sure, I walked away with a relatively decent GPA, got to skip tons of school and had way more free time as a result.
I was also thrown into a genius testing marathon via a co-op between my parents and 3rd grade teach. (yes my parents are the obnoxious pushy kind- and yes! I detest them for the most part, what a surprise) Indeed I was a faster reader with the ability to logically deduce the meaning of most “difficult” words based on context, which is somehow oh so remarkable. Needless to say I was placed in some accelerated programs, but, what do you know, I’ve only recently gotten back into leisure reading (in college) because I started developing testing anxiety and began to break down under all the pressure (since then through high school- if you were to graph my GPA from grade 3-11 you’d see a linear if not exponential decay). Parents just don’t understand that pressuring their children can have negative effects, and I feel like I missed out on a lot of the “fun times.” I know there’s no point in feeling spiteful now that I’ve taken control of my life, but I hope parents might think twice and consider the happiness of their child over their reputation - for how much is a reputation (at least in this area) really worth anyway? It’s literally like saying “everyone is special.”
I taught G&T kids for several years and they all seemed like refugees from Orwell or Dickens, nice kids but fleeing from God-knows-what sorts of domestic and parental horrors. They particularly liked re-enacting the Punic Wars, re-inventing the telescope, and listening to a Buddhist priest, but they never seemed to want to go home. Must be a lesson there somewhere. I thought they were all lost and wonderful; no idea how they came to be called either G or T. Every one of them was white except my kids, who were rather stylishly mocha.
I was labelled G&T from the time I was about four. Was labelled as 145+ at age 7. Thank god they didn’t skip me ahead a few grades, as was planned. I would have been even more socially and emotionally retarded than I already am. What I did end up with was a mother who was wonderfully resentful of my intellect and an alcoholic father. Wheee!
Although I wasn’t into the Punic Wars… the French Revolution was way more fun. And bloody. Yeah… I think the best things G&T education gave me were an appreciation for Monty Python and a healthy love of the aristocracy-culling tendencies of Madame Guillotine. And the ability to succeed in MMORPGs.
[...] Divorce Posted on February 22, 2008 by ashu4india Most studies on the topic of divorce, focus in on the obvious. For instance the median age of divorce for white men is 30.5 and 29 for women. This is usually around the time when white people further over analyze their lives and look for change, even if some of the stuff that they accomplished, like having good credit, a high paying job, or the ability to purchase a hybird car are things that people from other