#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
January 23, 2008 by clander
White people are pretty conflicted about their culture. On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture. But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture: the KKK, colonialism, slavery, Jim Crow laws, feudalism, and the treatment of native americans.
One way they can make up for it is becoming marginally acquainted with foreign cultures. It is generally acceptable for a white person to learn a few terms in a language spoken primary by non-whites (such as Chinese, Tagalog or Portuguese). They can then use these phrases to order certain ‘more authentic’ dishes in restaurants.
White people can also take passing interest in film, politics, music or art from these countries. When they actually meet someone from that country, or at least who has parents from that country they cannot wait to engage you in all the details that they have learned.
“Have you heard the new Andy Lau CD? It’s awesome!”
It is imperative that you recognize how special and unique this white person is for knowing about your culture. Acceptable responses include “Wow, I’ve never seen a white person order chicken feet,” or “How did you find about that film? I didn’t think they had dubbed it yet.”
These responses will fill white people with that self satisfaction they need. Also, they consider a reminder that they are not racist, which also makes them feel terrific.
Thank you for using me in this way. I appreciate being your token white girl.
I pooped my pants
AWESOME!
I love the way some of us have to constantly self-hypnotize themselves into thinking they aren’t racist.
There are two types of people in the world; racists and liars.
I am a racist
Which would mean that there is only one type of person in the world: racists…..and that some of them are liars does not make them a new group, but rather a sub-group of the first one.
There are two types of WHITE people in the world: racists and liars.
Y’know, there’s a reason the word “liars” is in there
XD
The fact that White’s have managed to successfully subjugate all other races proves their superiority.
Q/E/D
How many types of non-white are there? I’d be lying if I said I could tell.
So I guess that means you live is a country full of racist liars and yet I don’t see you packing you bags and buying a oneway ticket out of the country. I guess that would make you the THIRD kind of person…full of shit.
You say that as if you’re not sitting here mentally chugging stereotypes about whitey.
Every person identifies with people of their own colour and region first.
[...] #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture [...]
this is the best blog ever.
Duh, is anyone supposed to be proud of both good and bad parts of their culture?
“White people are pretty conflicted about their culture. On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture. But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture.”
Well, yeah, they are. It’s still their culture.
I know what thing about chu’ white devils, yall stole me from my country, AFRICA!
Um, Africa is not a country.
Brilliant.
Lol. It’s funny when people talk about “their country” Africa.
I think the point here is that during the early post-colonial period, there was a strong pan-africanist movement to unite all African “states” into a unified whole. This whole could be identified as a “country.” One reason for this is to resist colonial European demarcation and division of the landmass into “states,” which is a European concept that emerged in the last few centuries. People are trying to work outside the European hegemony, and you are only perpetuating it with your ill-informed comment.
Lol. It’s funny when people talk about shit they don’t know about. Fucker.
this guys for real
Wrong. Africa is not a country nor is it united. Go there. Hug a Hutu, kiss a tutsi and Shush urself. Kaitnxbai
Please leave white people alone. Don’t talk to us and we won’t talk to you.
How about this for an expert opinion:Dr Albert Schweitzer, who spent most of his life in Africa, “uplifting” Negroes, received the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1952. He held several doctorate degrees. Shortly before his death, he said:
“I have given my life to alleviate the sufferings of Africa. There is something that all white men that have lived here must learn and know; that these individuals are a sub-race; they have neither the intellectual, mental or emotional abilities to equate or share in any of the functions of our civilization. I have given my life to try and bring them the advantages which our civilization must offer, but I have become well aware that we must retain this status; white, the superior, and they the inferior, for whenever a white man seeks to live among them as their equal, they will either destroy him or devour him, and they will destroy all his work; and so for any existing relationship or for any benefit to this people let white men from anywhere in the world who would come to help Africa remember that you must continually retain the status; you the master, and they inferior, like children that you would help or teach. Never fraternize with them as equals, never accept them as your social equals; or they will devour you; they will destroy you.” Fucker.
I DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR SLAVERY.
This is most obnoxious part about being white. But its important to understand that this “expertise” is based on white peoples own self-hatred.
White people are so ignorant of history they actually believe that they’re the only people in history ever to have “oppressed” other people. They are also totally convinced that no people have ever “oppressed” white people.
The invasions and untold slaughters into Europe by the Mongols, Moors, Arabs, Turks, Huns, and other assorted Asian or North African peoples is one big blank of history. Even more comical is the idea that places like “the New World” were like great big Grateful Dead concerts before Europeans arrived. Never mind the Aztecs wiping out the Incas or sacrificing over 20,000 babies so the sun would rise in the morning, white people don’t want to hear it.
Don’t tell a white person that the Arab slave trade consumed 10 times more black Africans compared to their own slave trade as the white will explain that the Arabs treated their slaves much better. And NEVER bring up the fact to a white person that the Muslims also enslaved an untold number of white slaves out of Europe during the “Dark Ages.”
This is a form of White supremacism that is very misunderstood. Its basically telling the world “well, we expect you to slaughter, invade, colonize people but we’re white, so its very bad if we do it and not so much if you do.” Its basically telling the world that their a bunch of animals, who of course act like animals but only whites should be held accountable because they’re white (Read: Human).
The reason whites become “experts” in other cultures is to suppress the hate they feel towards their own feelings of superiority. It sounds confusing but its kind of like letting your little niece win in checkers to make her feel good and afterwords feeling bad about it. A white person must never show any positive feelings towards anything accomplished by a white person but must always point out that when a non-white accomplishes something that they were the “first” fill-in-the-blank to do so. At the same time, if a white person accomplishes something its for “humanity” or for “mankind.” To you non-whites reading this, I know this must sound confusing as hell but we’re a very strange people.
Very interesting points, but..what do you think our history teaches us? White accomplishments…taught usually by white teachers…our white founding fathers….whites took over the west…manifest destiny…how about cars? planes? i think white people are proud of these accomplishments and recognize it…especially in history classes…don’t you think?…so although i think you make some valid points i don’t completely agree with your last point…but it is definitely applicable in many instances..just some food for thought.
Accept he covered that point. When a white person accomplishes something, it’s not an accomplishment for whites, it’s an accomplishment for humanity.
In contrast to say, when a black person accomplishes something, it’s an accomplishment for the black community.
Yes,
The white oppression has been untaught to present generations..especially in American Public Schools….but one question….
Who designs the textbooks, owns the publishing companies, creates the cirriculm ….etc?
Its seems that white would rather keep these unpleasant details off the main records, I guess in a away it will make them seem vulnerable. Growing up and learning about European History there were very few names mention that did not haveQueen or King attatched….oh yeah and don’t forget the Roman numerals..
I think that you have put alot of thought into your justification of white people’s oppression of non white people. So your basic argument is that in the “Dark Ages” and in other ancient cultures oppression existed so that white people should be exempt from criticism of these acts. All of your examples are of ancient cultures, not the “far advanced” culture that the white people have claimed to be. I have never heard such a conveluded explaination, really. Please carefully think this shit though!! I am sure that you know that there are a great number of white researchers that have studied the ways in which white people try to come up with ways of always blaiming the others for their own lack of understanding about themselves and their acts. Please for the love of God, create white cultural classes so that you may all become more comfortable with examining yourselves. You have to stop hiding behind your fear of the truth and what you might discover. It is not going to be pretty and you may feel bad but this is the process of discovery.
annoyed minority, did you even pay attention to anything About As White As It Gets said? He is NOT saying white people should be exempt from their misdeeds.
He is just saying that the claim that white people’s misdeeds are greater than all other peoples’ misdeeds is a subtle form of white supremacy, one in which the whites committed the greater evil because they are a higher form of being and thus responsible to a greater law.
In order for one to really get rid of racist assumptions, one must compare all races and their deeds on an equal footing. That footing may be hard to come by, since in different eras, different methods of efficient evil and cruelty were available, but the assumption that one culture should be judged less than another because of the color of their skin, well that’s… you know.
White people should NOT be exempt from their cruelty, neither should Arabs, neither should Aztecs. Do you disagree with this?
I don’t believe it. Someone who actually knows what he’s talking about. You should see the look on my face. Kudo ‘As White As It gets’.
Don’t forget “being an expert on your religion”. I especially love it when someone who takes a ten-week history course on something other than European history brings it up in almost every applicable conversation.
My favorite meal is fried chicken and watermelon. I would much rather have this than the best tenderloin.
White guilt, FTL.
“I know what thing about chu’ white devils, yall stole me from my country, AFRICA!”
Propper use of an apostrophe when ebonicizing a post is generally a dead ‘white person’ giveaway.
Yes, along with “over the top” slang and sentence structures that sound like they’ve come straight out of Gone with the Wind. But, poor thing, he or she probably though that the comment would fool someone and was clever. How very sad.
The new Andy Lau CD ‘is’ awesome. . . .
This is the best blog ever!
White people are the ones who vigoursly romanticize selling out their own heritage. No other group does this with as much guiltless passion as white people. Think about it. DANCES WITH WOLVES? FAREWELL TO THE KING (no one saw that movie). Imagine a story about about a African man who goes off and lives with the Amish and turns his back on his roots. Unthinkable! But to white people…rejecting their heritage is cool!
Too bad other races don’t have an option in selling out their own heritage, either they do or they are useless to white society.
Ever notice how in those movies, the white person is the hero?
There’s a reason it’s called “Wite-Out”. It’s devoid of anything, and implies a clean slate, or a correction. What happens when something is empty? Something has to fill that void.
Yeah I’m talkin out my ass somewhat, but after reading this site for about two hours, I realize almost everyone else is talkin out of their asses as well.
You know what’s awesome, when they want to say your name properly. No matter how many times you tell them they can’t make that noise and you don’t care if they miss the silent “h”, they gotta do it right because their ancestors fucked up something in your country.
It doesn’t make you a better person to learn how to same my name with the right accent. It doesn’t make you a bad one to say it like you have a western accent, relax.
This happend to me the first time I went to a wedding in this country. People at my table and passers by must have repeated (unsuccessfully)my name 150 times at least.
Once in a while someone shouted out “I said it!” and pronounced every letter seperatly.
Now I just say: “You can call me Tammy”.
Aswhiteasitgets: why would that be confusing to non-whites? its all part of whiteness… we’re now starting to study you like you have been all of us.
Gaurav:
“There are two types of WHITE people in the world: racists and liars.”
Yellow people are about as racist as whites, and unlike in the white countries, there aren’t many minority groups in their countries to tell them they shouldn’t be that way.
Look at China, Korea, and Japan. Koreans allow natives of English-speaking countries to come to Korea and teach English. You should note, however, that they don’t allow South Africans, Jamaicans, Zimbabweans, etc. Hmmm….
Where are you getting this from? This is a very particular (if it is actually true, which I doubt) example that does not at all compare to real examples of racism–such as slavery, the extermination of Indians, Jews, etc.
Individual racism does not equal systematic, institutionalized racism.
i don’t know about the other cultures, but japan is notorious for its xenophobia. and i have to disagree with the assertion that japanese racism is not systematic.
from the bbc
“An independent investigator for the UN says racism in Japan is deep and profound, and the government does not recognise the depth of the problem.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4671687.stm
White people are terrified of confrontation, especially with an ethnic person. Especially when race is brought up
Which is why I always retreat to a bologna sandwich and my VCR to watch reruns of “30 Something.”
Not all white people are terrified of confrontation with an “ethnic” person,regardless of the topic. Sme of us simply prefer to sidestep the stupidity that arises when SOME ethnic people are confronted with the issue of race. I personally don’t care if you’re black, white,red, yellow or purple! If you treat me with respect, I’ll return the same-but if you choose to blame me and MY ancestors for the fact that YOUR ancestors were SOLD into slavery by their OWN COUNTRYMEN a confrontation will occur!
Never mind the Aztecs wiping out the Incas
The Aztecs and Inca never fought. They were too far away (Aztecs were in Mexico and Inca in Peru).
I’m pretty sure Portuguese people are white by almost every definition.
I assumed he was referring to non-fully white Portuguese speaking Brazilians, or maybe some of native Angolans that still speak Portuguese from colonial times…
Or maybe you’re just right, if he referred to Portuguese people from Portugal, that European country trapped between he Atlantic ocean and Spain…. they’re as white as they come.
you both are morons and obviously white.
You’re a towel
And you’re…white.
I’ve seen whiter.
Angolans DO still speak Portuguese…it’s the official language. Also Mozambique, Guinea Bissau, Sao Tome, Cape Verde….I dont know about Goa, India though.
Just being a smart ass here.
Re: Brazilians, I think the concept of “white” is vague because some people would not consider Brazilians white since they’re part of South America, but many people in Brazil have German, Italian, Portuguese blood. For me, Gisele Bundchen qualifies as white.
My grandma (full blooded Mexican) HATED Peurto Ricans. She used to say that she had never met one she liked.
I always thought that was so funny because she faced lots of racism growing up in the 30s and 40s!
So not just white people are ironic!
@Kel: Ssshh, don’t share white-masked-as-black decoding key.
I remember paying for one of those bullshit DNA Genographic tests. Turns out my culture consists of many different types of white people. I want my money back.
Seriously, “Aztecs wiping out the Incas?”
Being a fucking idiot pretty much disqualifies your opinion, honky.
No way Johnathan! Portuguese people aren’t white. Didn’t you see Mystic Pizza?
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
It takes a little insight to understand how this blog and your post are not equal. If you want to be simplistic, and remove all history and context, then they still would not be the same because violence and drug use simply do not compare with drinking coffee and liking San Francisco. But that is one thing white people like to do. Ignore history and context and pretend all things are equal.
“The Aztecs and Inca never fought. They were too far away (Aztecs were in Mexico and Inca in Peru).
Thank you sir, I meant the Mixtec’s (Spanish conquered the Incas).
Dammit, I hate being white.
P.S. This blog is brilliant.
[...] Craig listens to people like Amy Goodman and David Sedaris Post#25, he feels like he is an expert Post#20 on the issues that they talk about like polygamy in third world or how awesome it is to watch an [...]
After making the above mistake, it bothered me so much I went and talked to a MesoAmerican anthropologist at my school about the Aztecs. It turns out that children were only about 20% of sacrifices made by the Aztecs.
For the reconsecration of the great pyramid of Tenochtitlan, there was an estimated 84,000 sacrifices over four days.
Also, the sacrifices were not for the sun to shine, they were for rain. It was also pointed out that Mixtecs weren’t totally wiped out by the Aztecs.
But here’s the best part!!!!!
After the MesoAmerican anthropologist told me this, she then went on to say “but this was nothing compared to the death the Spanish inflicted on them.”
I couldn’t contain my laughter at that point, as she confirmed my point. To white people, the only bad killing is done by white people. If non-white people kill in large numbers, this is to be expected because their non-humans. However, white people can never be forgiven for killing since we’re human.
This is why we should never fear making mistakes. As mistakes can lead to a greater understanding later. Had I never made the mistake in the first place, I would have never visited the anthropologist. And if I never visited her, I wouldn’t have been able to confirm the above idea.
ONLY WHITE PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS!!!! The ultimate form of White Supremacy.
Spanish people are not white. Just ask them.
i did them. they are. have you been to spain? i was told on multiple occasions (by Spaniards) to watch out for thieving gypsies and “dark people.” also, Cortez was blond haired and blue-eyed.
For real…i’d never been harrassed by so many racists in my life, as when lived in Madrid, lol and i’m not white, so i don’t normally like to mention this fact!
OK, well I guess that’s why they would rather live in a white neighborhood than with other Hispanics and especially not with blacks!