#39 Netflix
January 29, 2008 by clander
We all know white people love film festivals, but what about movies that don’t make it to a film festival, or weren’t in the local film festival? How do you get accesss? Thankfully white people have Netflix.
If you don’t know, Netflix sends you DVDs in the mail and you get new ones when you send the old ones back.
White people are absolutely crazy for Netflix for a number of reasons. Firstly, because all of them are convinced that there is a global conspiracy to keep good, independent, groundbreaking film from mainstream distribution (multiplexes, blockbuster, etc).
To them, Netflix (in spite of being a for profit company) is a brand new way for independent filmmakers to find an audience. By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.
If you see a group of white people and you need to break into the conversation, a good thing to say “hey, is anyone else thinking that Netflix shipping is getting slower? I’m doing this PT Anderson thing, and I’m only up to Magnolia! What’s that all about?” They will relate, and talk about their own Netflix queues and how they are trying to get caught up on French New Wave.
i’d like to suggest
-coachella
-flea markets/vintage clothing
I pooped my pants
Coachella is actually the shit though
Thanks whitey. point proven.
also:
-modern furniture
-urban outfitters
-whole foods
-apple products
let’s not forget:
-the word “cozy”
-the state of oregon
-the state of vermont
-national public radio
-motown (the record label, not city)
Dont forget about getting netflix b/c one is too lazy to get in the car and go to Blockbuster or some other mainstream video store…pure laziness, mind you, why get up when I can get it sent in the mail? This is the same philosophy by which getting your groceries delivered is a white phenomenon.
dont forget us white retards for whom going to where the movie rental store is equals a monumental task. I’M RETARDED, OF COURSE i want it EASY! i am just as lazy as everybody else, and i have an excuse to exercise it!
You must be retarded actually, to use the word “retard” as a verb.
Actually, he was using it as a noun, retard.
…retard is also a verb. Do you not have a dictionary?
i prefer the term: Tar-Tar.
It’s so true!
I use netflix because my local Blockbuster and Hollywood video absolutely sucks ass.
I don’t know if I speak on behalf of the majority of my pale brethren or not, but the reason I use Netflix is because I always forget to bring back movies on time, and there’s no late fees with Netflix. Not to mention I get a little sick of not being able to find the movie I really want to watch at the video story. Nope, not laziness, not a desire to get indie flicks only…sheer practicality. Now, that being said, this blog pretty much nails my people down.
This pretty much covers it for me. I’ve sat on movies for longer than a month. I have no interest in indies. It’s too bad Netflix doesn’t do porn; they do softcore stuff, but no hardcore flesh flicks. Oh, well, you can’t win them all.
Softcore is ok. There are some funny Tinto Brass movies on there. And as much as I love indies and foreign movies I’m not trying to help the “independent industry”. I just like watching movies that aren’t 90% CGI. And the only way I can find them is through Netflix. Plus no late fees is a bonus.
Oh, yes, wouldn’t it be nice to get a little porn thrown in for those of us (even the girls)who’d like a smut once in a while. I believe that is also a white thing, but it is warped, white men have to say that they don’t watch it, while FORTUNATELY us white women can say we do like it and we are cheered!!
Seriously (tongue in cheek) I love Netflix because it is sort of like my own personal library of films, that I pay somebody to keep in order for me, when I want something, or a friend is coming over a night or two from now, I can special order a movie.
What makes it really white though is thinking that our film tastes are SOOOO important that we have to share /inflict our opinions on our friends,
This blog is fantastic…I think one of the best parts is how, we white folk, comment on how….I use netflix because…..or I drink bottled water because….. Just admit it “it’s funny cause its true”.
yeah the blogger should remove the few things which he really failed to understand. a lot of white people just are too lazy to go to blockbuster; mainly cause we’re all worn out from hiking, and still famished because ethiopian food isn’t very filling!
I agree with “so white i’m blinding’s” post. I would also like to add that I am a bit anal, and Netflix web site speaks to that side of me. I can rate every single movie I’ve seen 1-5 stars, write reviews, make recommendations to my friends and track my viewing habits. Yes, I’m white AND nerdy (like the Weird Al song, only I’ve got a tan). Netflix rules!
Aleks - do you actually have time for all this in between Star Trek conventions?
Post #73 Over-Explaining Things (see above as examples)
Post #74 Thinking they’re naturally smarter than everyone else
Post #75 Being defensive
Post #76 Office parties (especially getting drunk at Christmas parties and dressing like sluts at Halloween parties)
Post #77 Tanning & cosmetic surgery
Post #78 Taking credit for discovering things already discovered (America, braids, jazz, etc.)
Post #79 Small talk
Post #80 One-night-stands (including random vacation sex)
I love netflix b/c I am too cheap for cable!
Like netflix, you can return a one night stand if it fails to satisfy you and get another.
Unfortunately, you have to leave the house to get a one night stand. They should start a netflix type clearinghouse for one night stands “nettrix” maybe
I got u in my Q baby
and so the cheap champagne flows freely
all the white people i know love mayonnaise in a wierd creepy revolting way. they seem to prefer it on potato or tuna “salads”
needless to say i find that whole thing disgusting, and mayonnaise was the bane of my existance while living in america for 4 years, in Williamsburg Virginia (which is a hotbed of white mayonnaise lovers)
did you already write a post on that? i’m still catching up
Great page!
But I hate Netflix (and I’m white)
http://hotlard.wordpress.com/2007/08/12/netflix-sucks/
Firstly, not everyone needs to watch 30 movies a week. Secondly, I had the same issue with blockbuster.com sending me movies totally out of order even though the top of the list was indicated as “available” when they received my returns. I got the same type of canned response regarding availability, and blah, and blah.
I just don’t get the anger. These people are here to suck your cash straight from your hands. Make no mistake, they could not care less about your gripes. There are other schmoes (like me) still renting our movies from them–and keeping them until we re-watch all the old CSI on cable. I did stop using blockbuster and went back to netflix, only because I can have more out at a time. Also, I don’t always watch every movie I rent. So, sometimes, I am sitting on new movies for a couple weeks or longer and not even taking them out of their cover. HAHAHA!
I use Netflix because it has all the old TV shows white people like.
Like the Jeffersons and Dukes of Hazzard.
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
Wouldn’t dream of calling you racist, Anonymous. Painfully uncreative and totally lacking humor…THAT I will call you. Also, totally lacking in subtlety where your sarcasm is concerned.
But racist! Nah! I’m sure you have lots of enlightened views and a rainbow of friends.
I was wondering waht wuz up with NETFLIX. im like why the f****k would anybody deal with the postal service if they didnt have to?
I have a subtle dissent here. maybe it started as an indie thing but then it got trendy, per se, and katy-bar-the-door every self-respecting light-complected starbuck swilling piece of work got in on the deal.
I’m white and I like Netflix. Does it go along with the fashion tastes of this blog for me to like Netflix just because I hate all the local video stores and I live 30 miles away from any of them in a rural area? Or not.
Um, I actually love Netflix because I got sick and tired of constantly having to pay Blockbuster late fees, and I love the convenience of having a cue so I don’t have to wander aimlessly for an hour through Blockbuster looking for something I haven’t already seen.
okay those kind of ARE my reasons for loving netflix and i think they are fair enough reasons. REALLY, are they not good reasos? lol. but this was hilarious.
To be truly cool you need to rent Bollywood movies from the local Indian grocery.
No. All wrong. Netflix is for renting movies on the cheap, copying them to DVDs, then sending them back. Then if any of your friends or family want a movie they’ll ask you and you send them a copy for FREE.
HA! That’s amazing. As I sit here reading this blog on my Apple laptop, I’m reminded that it’s high time I returned my Netflix movie (Bande A Part) so that they can ship me my next one (Un Bout de Souffle… I soooo love the nouvelle vague cinema). At least I have some indie music to keep me occupied while I wait. It’s just a shame that my iPod is broken (again…).
God, I’m so white…
I’m even wearing white.
Amber, I have news for you, Hot Topic doesn’t sell formal wear.
White people like gmail too.
So funny because it hits so very close to home.
A suggestion: I know more people who prefer shade grown organic coffee over starbucks. That might an interesting feature.
I live in Memphis. I know for a fact that black folks like Netflix, too :D.
I just like netflix cause I’m lazy and they deliver to your house. There’s no real deep or complex reason, and it has nothing to with me being white.
Hmmm, I guess…
Not wanting to see Saw IV (or the typical Lackluster Video selection) = sissy white stuff.
I concur with post #22. Getting a collection for < $1 per movie is the way to go.
I’m also happy with not having to pay extra $$$ for gas to and from the rental places. That in itself is worth a few bucks. And I’m very white.
I have never given any thought of Netflix. I have TiVo and some movie channels, so I just TiVo new releases and some sundance stuff. House Hunter sometimes. Mostly don’t give a flip about tv.
Hang some bird feeders and watch; more entertaining.
So I thought the Netflix one was off as a white person. (Although I’m a first generation american, my family is French. Still counts.)
I guess that explains why I’ve never seen Arrested Development?
Curb Your Enthusiasm is awesome, though.
Do you have a better way to get Douglas Fairbanks action movies? Because I would like to see it.
@ #4 BooBoo
Have you seen the baggy-pants hoodlums that hang out in the Blockbuster stores? Netflix has probably saved me from at least 5 muggings and a gunshot wound!!!
i live less than 2 blocks from a blockbuster, and my last 2 roommates pissed and moaned that their next netflix movies were taking too long to show up. both white, both republican.
Okay…so this is all just very confusing to me. Are we celebrating our whiteness? Do we need a blog to find out niche in society? Yes, we whitie’s share common things…of course…many of it is basically just because we are from the same socioeconomic status. That said, blogs like this perpetuate the close-mindnesses that is unfortunately so pervasive in this country. Celebrate other cultures???
I have been a Netflix member for the last two years… Maybe I am a White Woman… lol
That’s not how the hip West Coast white folk like receive their indie.disks via the mail, yo! They get their films from GreenCine which is more indie than Netflix. At least the white Bay Area crowd did until they moved their distribution office down to LA - now it takes up to a week for them to get their other movie after they ship it back to GreenCine. Not too sure ’bout the disk rental via post scene in La.La Land…
kc
PLEASE DO an urban outfitters one
once again brilliance had its highlights a few lols
yes where else could I find Trick Baby, The Boy from Lebanon and Larry the Cable Guy? White IS right.
I can’t stand Netflix for their pop-up ads when I am trying to read a news article online. And their TV commercial is just as annoying and lame.
This is blog is hilarious. Thanks!
Yeah, I’m with you on that — the pop ads with every news article! And when you click on the next news article, there’s the Super Nanny look-alike extolling Netflix again!
I don’t use Netflix, although I am white. We just use the movies On Demand on our cable. (I do like sushi though!)
What’s funny about this is that my roommate is Latino and he’s the one that signed up for Netflix. I opted to sign up for the hip East Village video store (that got busted for bootlegging last year), cuz, y’know, that’s just more indie.
(Also, I like being able to get weird foreign and cult movies right now, not in a week.)
[...] #39 Netflix [...]
Um, don’t white people also know to avoid the use of non-words like “firstly”? Or also - big shudder here - “irregardless”?
I say this as a white person pursuing a PhD in the arts (though not art) whose parents occasionally buy her antique furniture and fly her to their home near the water.
I get Netflix and I usually get Bollywood movies
Oh I love me some netflix. But only because I have developed some serious hatred of sitting in a theatre filled with talking geezers, screaming teenagers, ringing cell phones and just plain annoying idiots.
[...] the low-hanging fruit side of white person self-loathing (and wait a second, who doesn’t like Netflix?). Anyway, a few days later I was reading Bill “the Sports Guy” Simmons’s most [...]
#43 Lauren
firstly… irregardless is a word. one of those miracles of the English language such as flammable & inflammable, words that retain their meaning irregardless of prefix.
secondedly…. i’m curious to know if your parents buy your antique furniture from you or for you.
phd in woodwork i presume?
Webster does not recognize “irregardless” as a word.
That’s because the prefix, “ir” is redundant with the suffix. The correct word to use is simply “regardless”.
“Irregardless” is used by people who want to sound like they have a firm grip on the English language, when really, they don’t.
Here’s a web site for a bit more on this:
http://www.greatsociety.org/fpm/content/view/76/2/
By the way, your example of “flammable” and “inflammable: — you say they are words that retain their meaning irregardless of prefix.” You do realize that the two are opposites, right? That inflammable means to not be flammable?
Just wondering……
In addition to #45’s list of reasons theaters suck:
-loud black people that won’t shut up
I had neflix back before it was trendy, way back when you actually got the movie you wanted within a few days, and people though the whole concept of netflix was stupid.
Is it bad that I’ve been Netfixing for so long that my friends and I have turned Netflixing into an actual verb? You need to Netflix Arrested Development, by the way.
Video stores have too small a selection, the latest blockbusters are never in stock and they charge late fees.
I have netflix because I can pay less than $10 a month and rent a bunch of movies, instead of paying Blockbuster $5 every time I want one, single movie……..
anyone with the financial knowledge of a 10 year old should like netflix…. spending less money for something you do all the time is better than spending more… people like netflix because they can own movies for a lot cheaper than they could otherwise by pirating them
i don’t do netflix.
motown does not include “gfr”, white people love “gfr”
also sitcoms.
gfr stands for grand funk railroad, if you did not know that you are “teh lames”
“By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.”
Um…I just use Netflix cos it’s easy.
I gotta be honest, I’m as white as a motherfucker and I use Netflix because I’m too lazy to go to Blockbuster with regularity. I mean, before Netflix, all I got in the mail was letters from my mother and cable bills. now I get the special edition of “Total Recall” on DVD. how cool is that?
My dad does Netflix. He isn’t white. Just white-washed.