While white people certainly love “the cinema,” they are required to balance their interest in film with an interest in live theater, most notably plays.
In spite of plays having minimal sets, no special effects, an intermission, and a higher admission price, white people believe that live theater is essential to any cultured city.
It is not known if white people actually enjoy plays or if they are just victims of massive peer pressure from the 45% of white people who have acted in a play at some point in their life.
The only real advice around this subject is to never accept an invitation from a white person to go see a play. Often times you will be supporting their friend or cousin and then get stuck with a $45 ticket (at least) and three hours of trying to figure how close you are to the end.
Yeah, go ahead and knock theatre (ooh love that spelling).
It is too bad that there is so much bad writing out there or plays would be worth going to for the play instead of looking good with a little plastic cup of red wine.
I pooped my pants
l poop in my pants too sexy assshole lol hhhh
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
racist
…racist…
can’t take a joke when it’s about white folks?!?!?!?
It is not known if white people actually enjoy plays or if they are just victims of massive peer pressure from the 45% of white people who have acted in a play at some point in their life.
LOL!
I’m white and I hate plays and don’t go. I am so uninterested in plays that I didn’t even know the tickets cost $45. Going by your parameters, my fashion taste about plays is more refined than the white author of this blog.
LIAR
“theater”. good. keep washing away the canadian.
THANK YOU. Wtf is up with this? I’m sorry, but when I grew up poor, and mostly white, TV and movies were real entertainment. Then when I moved to college, it was just movies. Theatre (inverted spelling and all) was but an afterthought.
And I’m sorry to all those thespians, but having seen a lot of both stage and screen, there’s a reason Vaudeville died (soon to be followed by Broadway). Cry all you want, but only rich New Yorkers really care about that crap anymore anyway.
Happy to substitute Disney animation for ‘The Lion King,’
-A Member of the 21st Century
know what else is boring? middle class white americans with no class or taste. what a snooze.
Another spot on post. White people, ever concerned about living the life they see in TV commercials and New Yorker ads, the theatre is-in a word-essential. Why is there so much antipathy towards the truths highlighted by this blog? They are all true. In fact, this blog usually doesn’t go far enough.
Still fun to read.
If you live in NYC, it’s a rite of passage that you will attend some lousy plays that your friends are in. Even worse, you’ll see a play your friend WROTE. The toughest rite is to attend a play that’s been written by a friend who is also the star.
These events will cause you to re-evaluate your friendship with such a person for the following reasons.
1. Once you attend a friend’s play, it is automatically assumed you will be attending future plays. That can be tough, especially since these plays are ridiculously long.
2. Many people write plays as an excuse to either get naked themselves or get someone they have a crush on to appear naked on stage. This can put a lot of strain on a friendship.
For these reasons, you’ll quickly develop a ratio of play quality vs. worth of friend as valuable business contact.
At the very least, you will learn how to diplomatically decline future invitations and develop the art of creative excuses…something white people are very good at.
Ha! Not so white as I thought I was!
Theatre is the institution, theater is the building in which it is performed.
Most theatre tickets cost less that $45, too. Rush tickets, Off- and Off-Off Broadway, and almost all regional.
Two words that will end this ridiculous one: TYLER PERRY
Note to anon:
“Theatre” is the British spelling and “theater” is the American spelling — and there’s no other difference except pretense. Most American English dictionaries will list both as interchangeable (with “theater” first) because the British spelling remains so popular among those who feel it looks more cultural, for whatever reason.
The notion that “theater” is a building compared to “theatre” as a subject or art form is a recent invention that doesn’t have anything to do with how the spellings developed. I’m seeing it repeated more and more thanks to the Internet, but that doesn’t make it valid. In England, a theatre is still a building — along with various American buildings using the British spelling as part of their proper names. Likewise, many or most (but of course, not all) American colleges list Theater for the area of study to be consistent with standard spelling.
Either spelling is fine with me. Although the colonies brought their language from Mother England, dictionaries aren’t quite that old and the spelling standards on both sides of the water are roughly the same age and equally official. It’s only odd to me when people use American spellings for everything except that one word. Is it an inferiority complex, or what?
i never understood who were the people paying to see crummy actors act in a play i now know thank you
Frank R.
Two words that will end this ridiculous one: TYLER PERRY
^^^IN THE WORDS OF FLO RIDA…….
LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW
you are hilarious!! so true, so funny.
Okay, admittedly, seeing a play is an excruciating experience. There’s the stuffy atmosphere, the uncomfortable seating, poor acoustics, the erstwhile friend in the play who needs to be told his performance “rocked,” and, of course, the exorbitant cost. But if you want to ratchet up the misery a little more then by all means go see a musical production.
Musicals are much more entertaining.
Whites love to watch hateful plays about dysfunctional Whites, that were written by anti-White racist (and secretly jealous) Jews.
The list of these playwrights would take too long to compile.
It’s pathetic, I agree.
To Bobby (reply # 12): nice entry. Thanks.
While I understand that it is the trend to go and see a play instead of a movie, you all seem too forget that it is live art. It takes a large amount of energy and time to produce something you view as silly and crappy.
I work in theater, and I know that there are a lot of plays that would have been better off if left unwritten. But you all don’t seem to understand the true beauty of it.
If the theater scene and experience is not for you, that’s fine. That’s your right, and it’s understandable. Again, there are a lot of people that do it for the cred. But don’t forget that there are also a lot of people that go to see them and that are in them because they sincerely love and enjoy them.
Don’t make such a generalization. This isn’t to the actual post, just come of the comments.
YEAH HATING LIVE THEATRE IS THE WAY TO GO WHOO HOO I LOVE WHEN THE INTERNET SPEAKS THE TRUTH.
THIS BLOG IS THE VOICE OF ALL WHITE PEOPLE, OBVIOUSLY.
Bobby-
anon is right. A theatre may be a building in England, but in the States, it’s the institution, the artform, the “magic,” if you will.
And for the record, if you’ve ever seen good, solid theatre, you know that it’s both an instructional and emotional artform. I love explosions and boobies and car chases as much as the next guy (hell, I DO film), but a mass-produced, packaged entertainment reel just ain’t an adequate substitute every time for the commitment of human beings giving you everything they’ve got right in front of your face.
[...] friends that I never get to see anymore was walking to a tutoring job on that block. He’s a playwright by the way. So, once again, Player of the D.A.Y. [...]
[...] Plays [...]
Theatre has been around for thousands of years…literally since the dawn of recorded history. Although I am enjoying pretty much every entry in this blog, it is absurd to suggest that only contemporary “hip” white people patronize the theatre.
There is a lot of shitty theatre out there; there is a lot of great theatre out there. In Baltimore there is a huge presence of non-white and non-American theatre-makers.
As you may have guessed, I have an “arts” degree in theatre. I am passionate about theatre. Before television or film, theatre was a huge part of mass enertainment. With the advent of those mediums as well as the internet, the live performance is still figuring out its new place in society.
Also, it’s generally accepted in the theatre community that the art form is spelled “theatre” and the location is spelled “theater”. You may call it a neologism, but for people who (frankly) know what the hell they’re talking about this is common usage.
Stay too cool for teh Internetz!
Before radio and television, feeding Christians to lions was a
“huge” part of mass entertainment. And people liked going to public executions,too. We’ve refined our sensibilities these days, eschewing such barbarity as well as live theatre, preferring instead a little Internet porn or the occasional “Survivor” episode. Our culture, you see, has evolved.
Not even close to the majority of white people like plays. Most have never even seen a play.
Yeah right. All white people have seen a play- and I’m sure most Mexican, Black, Chinese, etc… have too. Think about your school plays even-
And why are so many people uptight about this shit, it’s hilarious.
i have been performing in plays since i was a kid.
when i look out into the crowd, its a sea of white, every night.
i think the argument isnt whether or not theatre(er) or plays are any good, its just that white folks really like it. and from my experience, it doesnt matter if its good. white folks come anyway.
theres a guy i work with, says, ‘theyre here because it hurts. and if it hurts, they think its good for them.’
thats white alright!
ps
theatre(er) geeks: please stop defending us. you make us look worse (we already look bad).
[...] people go to plays Here’s one answer. Who knew? (Thanks to Adam for the [...]
Have you ever seen a mel brooks theater production. Funniest Jew i know.
Hey, Joey, Jews in general are funny. And, in general, they love some corned beef brisket. They also know their way around a major league curveball ( just ask Sandy Koufax) and some gangsterly double-crossing ( just ask Meyer Lansky) . But first and foremost, they are funny. As for Mel Brooks holding the Funniest Jew belt, I’d love to see him go fifteen with Woody Allen.
The problem with the theater is that most of it is awful. That’s an easy statement to make, of course, since most plays are done by shitty high school/college programs, community theaters, and artsy-fartsy “experimental” drama companies. Sure, some of those shows are good, but most of them suck. That said, let’s not kid ourselves. The vast majority of movies, TV shows, and books are really shitty too. I’m not saying this is a new phenomenon. I’m sure that’s always been the case to some extent. Generally speaking, we only happen to remember the good plays, books, and movies of the past (”good,” of course, being one of those pesky “relative” terms that, well… white people love identifying). But here’s the thing. There’s a big difference between watching a shitty play and watching a shitty movie. If you think back on all the movies you’ve ever seen in your life, you probably watched most of them either on TV, DVD/VHS, or nowadays streaming from a computer. In those instances, if the show sucks, you can turn it off or you can do something else and completely ignore it in the hope that you find something somewhat worthwhile halfway through it. Because of this, we’ve become all the more complacent about the shittiness of movies and televisions shows today. In short, we, for whatever reason, have come to accept that mindless entertainment has a place in our lives. I’m not trying to say that’s a good thing, but, for many people, it’s simply a fact.
That being said, the charm of going to a play, for many people, is that, at the very least, it is not intended (by the persons producing the play) to be mindless entertainment. It’s intended (whether or not they managed to make good on that intention) to be a thought-provoking reflection upon the human experience. If you choose to attend what is supposed to be a serious work of drama (and especially if you choose to see the play for itself, not simply to support a friend involved in the production), you are going in with the same mindset that one would have when watching, for example, The Godfather or some other great work of film. The problem is that, as said, most plays suck. The Godfather never fails. It never stops being really fucking awesome. You just don’t have that same assurance when going to a play. Sure, you’d like that assurance (especially given the steep ticket prices), but most plays will fall short in one way or another.
Combine this with the insufferable length of some plays, the forced stoic silence among audience members, and the cramped sitting arrangements, you may very well be in for a truly miserable evening when you go to a play (statistically speaking). This is made all the worse by the fact that you can’t turn a play off if it sucks, and, unlike going to the movies, you certainly can’t freely snicker with your friends while watching it, unless you want to be a contemptible asshole. Of course, it’s always the worst when it’s not just a bad play, but a bad play in which a close friend was involved. First, you can’t really walk out in the middle of it without creating serious awkwardness. Then, when the play is over, you are forced to blow sunshine up your friend’s ass and tell them how great they were (even if they were awful). That can get really awkward really quickly, especially if you are bad at bullshitting.
Conceding all of that, it is very important to acknowledge that there are some absolutely amazing plays out there. Some of the most important works of literature are works of drama, and, if you’re lucky enough to see a truly great play, it really is an amazing experience. There’s nothing like actually being able to lose yourself in a great show. In fact, because you are face-to-face with the actors and because anything can happen amidst the spontaneity of the moment, I would posit that seeing a truly great play is a far, far more rewarding experience than seeing a truly great movie. Because of this, I’d also posit that, after all is said and done, its worth sitting through a few bad shows (to an extent) in an effort to find a great theatrical experience. I happen to be a playwright, so perhaps I’m biased. My point is only that I understand why so many people hate going to plays, but I would also encourage those same people to not write off plays altogether.
Of course, I understand that many of you might have already decided to stick to movies and TV (even while conceding that most movies and TV shows are just as shitty as the shittiest plays out there). However, for those of you who haven’t given up on theater quite yet (but may be quickly losing patience), I’d recommend you hedge your bets. See a professional (or conservatory) production, if your town has a professional company or a legit conservatory. You might also want to choose a vetted play, like Long Day’s Journey Into Night, A Doll’s House, Death of a Salesman, or Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Read the reviews first, if you have a credible reviewer in town. Chances are, if you do that, you’ll see a great play sooner than later. Then, after that experience, you’ll see why people like me are willing to risk several evenings out of their lives on plays. My apologies for being a long-winded bastard. Many thanks to anyone that actually read all of this. I hope you didn’t find it a total waste of your time.
Pee pee PENIS!
lol ….. i hate theater … and theatre
[...] #43 Plays [...]
Theatre isn’t a “white” art… it’s been around throughout human history, and in many different forms it’s been a big part of pretty much every culture to grace the planet… it’s history, man, and you probably realize this but are more interested in making simplistic jokes and having your internet popularity skyrocket. also, the word “white” is not interchangeable with “snotty hipster kid”. This is really stupid.
Theatre/Theater (a really stupid & semantic argument) has been used for centuries and gives the same purpose as books (another thing white literate people like); education and communication. When asked what they prefer to do, film or theatre, most thespians pick theatre because of the discipline.
We are in an A.D.D.(led) world where the most popular sport is channel surfing! Theatre haters hate it because it means they would actually have to get off their McDonald’s eating, cellulite filled ass and actually go outside and experience something that doesn’t have to be plugged in!
So instead of hating on something that can actually bring a lot of joy, why don’t you put down your Panasonic Universal Remote and go to the library or a free show in the park.
For those of you who don’t have a calendar between your couch to your bed to your computer to your toilet to your fridge, it IS spring now. Your local park or theatre/theater is proably setting up free shows. Try and muster up enough energy to pull one foot in front of the other (it’s called walking) and go out to get some culture. C U L T U R E. Sound it out, darling, that’s right. No, not the stuff at the bottom of your yogurt can (if you even knew that’s what that stuff is called).
Theatre-haters are pathetic. A group of people so resistant to education. What happened? Someone trip you up to the stage when getting your “I graduated 8th Grade” certificate, and you just gave up after that?
I work in at a “theatre” and I can say unequivocally 97% of the stuff that we put on the stage sucks.
Actually, most white people can’t stand plays. They just like to pretend they like them so they look cultured, even though there’s usually the sound of snoring in the seats after the first ten minutes.
In international relations, victory goes to the nation with the finest art, the noblest philosophy, the grandest poetry, the most exalted culture–Confucius
I’m white and I’ve never been to a play (not counting my elementary school play).
I would go to a play if it involved porn however.
How does August Wilson and black theatre fit into this?
hey poop is good sexey and eveon dog crap too . plerse call me sooon l goiing to be famous poop hands
thanks l love you too.
thios is the poop song. poop is good for you qand tyou coud thoh it
l lovwe hot guys anyone whant to date me hre .plse sand me a pitcher
Theater (and especially theatre) has a certain snob appeal which allows one to justify spending three hours sitting in a lawn chair, guzzling Chardonnay, listening to a language which - although an antique variation of one’s own - one does not understand.
Many summers ago, the Shakespeare festival in my town decided to put on “Damn Yankees” while the local musical theater company took on “Sweeney Todd”. Both shows were financial failures. I suspect that the Shakespeare patrons found the classic musical comedy was not elite enough for their tastes. Likewise, the musical theater’s patrons walked out in droves every night as the Judge literally whipped himself into a frenzy over his adopted daughter. Had the two venues traded productions, their audiences might have been happier.
As for me, I dread the day when theater makes the list of “Stuff Old People Like”, if it hasn’t already.
Improvisational theater (comedy) is liked by white people who say they don’t like theater.
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Justice, Truth, and Equality?
http://www.survival-international.org
[...] Teatro (#43) [...]