A lot of cultures love dogs - be it for entertainment, labor, or other. But white people love dogs on an entirely different level.
It should be understood that in white culture, dogs are considered training for having children. That is to say that any white couple must get a dog before they have kids. This will prepare them for responsibility by having another creature to feed, supervise it’s bathroom activities, and to love. Because of this, white people generally assume that their dog is their favorite child unless otherwise stated.
When actual children are born, the dog is not displaced but rather remains as the most important member of the household. This is because of the fact that white children will eventually hate their parents, but dogs will love anyone who feeds them.
White people generally believe that dogs have human emotions and that they are capable of loving certain TV shows, films, and music. “Buster just loves watching Six Feet Under!” Even though most dogs would enjoy watching Hitler if he were getting attention every time it came on the TV.
They also believe that their dogs share similar tastes in food - “Little Ben Kweller likes the Organic food the best.” Forgetting the fact that dogs enjoy eating their own feces, and pretty much anything that falls onto the floor.
When searching for homes, many white people will require large yards so that their “dog can run around.” If you work in real estate, this can be exploited for large markups when selling to white people.
It is also a proven fact, that dogs are often used by white people to attract members of the opposite sex. Bringing a puppy or dog to a local dog park, will encourage interaction and conversation. Even more so than a Mac Laptop.
If white people are ever talking about their dogs, it is essential that you reassure them that their dogs are absolutely special and unique. That they are being properly cared for, and that treating like children is the only way to care for a pet. Under no circumstance EVER should you say anything that is derogatory towards dogs, critical of spoiling dogs, or that they are not full members of society who deserve the same rights as humans. Doing any of these three things will completely destroy all relationships you might have had with a white person.
its funny the same people that were protesting Mike Vick, were the same people that won’t let their fufu dogs play with pitbulls in the park’
Irony
I am very against what Vick did & i won’t even take my American Pit Bull Terrier to a dog park. Anyone that takes any bulldog to a dog park is an IDIOT !!!! that is trouble waiting to happen & I don’t care “how much your dog loves playing with other dogs ” do yourself & the breed a favor DOn’t take your bully to a dog park.
Dogs behave how they are raised to behave. Breed is far less of an influence than popular belief suggests.
sigh: I’m sick and tired of hearing that it’s all the owners fault (with the exception that they should elect to own another breed).
Pits are banned in 9 countries, 24 US citys and one state.
There is something simply not stable about the breed.
Get a clue. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pit_bull
Yet, rottweilers routinely rank higher than bullies in injuries caused.
And you cannot POSSIBLY tell me it has nothing to do with the kind of dipshits that tend to buy pits. Ever known a pit owner in a trailer park? They practically REVEL in the idea that their dog can tear an arm off, they’re more than happy to let them be vicious.
I totally agree with Anonymous’s statment. A pit tried to attack my dog once at the park and mu dog sent it to the hospitial. (My dog never gets into fights and the pit started it.) If you have a dog that is ball/toy aggressive; leave it home or leave the toys at home.
I pooped my pants
dude try pampers
Exactly how is that ironic?
According to your list, it would appear that Oprah is white. Perhaps someone should let her know.
Don’t forget that white people also like
photography
food magazines
Pottery Barn
blogs
Baby Einstein
This is great!
If I wasn’t so busy holding the leashes for my 2 dogs (who have awesome personalities), i’d probably carry my macbook to my little blonde kids’ soccer games.
Do White People like cats as much as they like dogs? My sense is that White People (as a people) like cats less than they like dogs, but that the White People who like cats like cats more than the White People that like dogs like dogs.
So pleased you mentioned the cats and dog thing. I prefer a dog but am stuck with a cat as well. Why do cats have such a long life span compared to dogs? My cat belts the crap out of my Doberman/Rottweiler cross puppy at least once a month. Should I have him trained to be more assertive? My dog is called Poo Poo and is 6yo. The bloody cat is called Muscles and would be about 65 in human years.
Disturbed, self-loathing Democrats like cats. Everyone else likes dogs.
You should be more specific and say that white people like SMALL dogs. I agree with the post in that all white people do love dogs (more than their children), but whenever I take my pitbull mix or golden retriever to the park, some whiny ass white lady with a Lhasa Apso or a yorkie complains about how my big dog “doesn’t belong here” because he is so much larger than her 8 lb wonder. These are inevitably the same people who never clean up their dog’s mess and insist on driving a prius when they only drive on the highway anyway.
While white people do love small dogs (as they are much easier to put sweaters on) we also love big dogs. As a white person it is important that I dream of owning a chocolate lab or golden retreiver so he can splash around at my lake front house and join me on long hikes… we will have adorable pictures of us in the wilderness.
GUILTY AS CHARGED!
But, what about Springer Spaniels?
No way do white prefer small dogs. Of all the pure-breeds, golden retrievers, labs, and german shepherds are white-folk dogs par excellence. I have a Border Collie and a mixed breed (extra points because they were from a rescue). But then again, I owned a Prius since 1998 and like to think that I’m a trend-setter among the whites. AKC sucks.
Dude that is so not true.
White socialite girls like small dogs. Pugs, mini Dobermans, etc.
But I admit that as soon as there is a white couple the dog they get should weigh at least 50 lbs.
And I would drop German Shepherds in favor of Wiemaraners, or a Vizsla.
Hilarious. In my parents’ suburb, it isn’t unusual to see a dog in a sweater. My mom once mistook one for an elf (at Christmas) and upon learning that it was a small dog, said, “Oh. Well, it’s nice that people in this country can afford to dress their pets. There are so many naked children in India.” (We’re from India.)
Wordydoodles just made me laugh out loud. Her comment is one of the funniest things I have read on this site.
Ha! Your mom rocks!
I had my dog fixed so it wouldn’t be bringing a lot of dogs into the world that couldn’t be well taken care of. Maybe India needs a human society, excuse me, a humane society.
Snap!
If you’re so worried about the naked people in India why don’t you clothe them and not rely on white people to do it for you. You’re the ones with classes in society with the rich getting richer and the poor staying poor. So what if white people want to put clothes on their dogs.
You should also mention how Black people think it’s just fine to mistreat a dog. One black girlfriend of mine told me how her dad trained their dog by beating it with a pipe. When it was about 8, her dad finally broke some of the dog’s bones, so they tied it up in front of the SPCA in the middle of the night. Bye bye Spot old boy, it’s been great.
All the dogs I have ever seen mistreated (tied up in violation of dog laws, no food, water, or shelter, covered with sores, matts, and burs, and ignored among other things) have belonged to Black folk. Black folk need to improve their image there and realize that dogs have a lot more feelings and emotions going on than they think. Read some science on it, and stop the suffering.
Thanks~
black people pretty much treat their kids likewisa. Make ‘em, have ‘em and there the responsibility ends.
Ha! On the racist side, but unfortunately kinda true. I work in mental health, and I never cease to be amazed at the amount of poor black parents who put their kids on ADHD medicine because they’re “hyper”. Note: this definition of hyper includes things like kicking their feet while sitting in a chair or wanting to run around outside).
the mistreatment of children and/or animals is not strictly a black thing… i work in a jail, trust me, i would know. however unfortunate it is that people choose to do either of these horrible things, i think it extremely ignorant to say that only one race does either of them.
What about the poor white children who raise large black dogs?
You idiot. How do you use one example of your black girlfriend and compare it to an entire race? That’s stupid and very closed minded. Every race and every culture has it’s short comings and stereotypes. Sadly race isn’t even a real thing…it’s groupings that we have allowed to become real to say that these are black people these are white people, etc., when in reality there is no real difference between any race of people…People are people, not different species of people. Duh! If we were all that different we wouldn’t be able to reproduce all together of different races. Ignorance is such an issue. So you do some research and reading. Find some statistics, quit thinking so closed mindly and believing you know the truth of one race based on one example or even 20 examples, because that is an impossible figure to compare statistically to all black people.
No, it’s not the white people with the little dogs (except for movie stars). Real white people - esp. those of the blue-blooded variety are all about the big dogs: labs and retrievers topping off the list.
Why?
Because white people love the idea of hunting - esp. stuff like duck and pheasant. (Deer, wild hog and turkey hunters are a totally different type of white people.) And these types of dogs - working dogs - are associated with retrieving, hunting and other things that the landed gentry do.
Most of the yippy, tiny dogs I’ve seen are Asian-owned. I would assume they are pets as they don’t have enough meat on them to qualify as dinner.
man with a pitbull = small penis
Wow…..logic of that nature never ceases to amaze me.
How exactly would you know that a man with a “pit bull” has a small penis? Is that you?
My favorite part is that most people think the “pit bull” encompasses up to 20 breeds and cannot tell a black am staff from a black lab. I know both my staffie’s get mistaked for labs regularly. Get a life and learn what the dogs are really like.
People who really love dogs recognize the strengths and weaknesses of each breed and know that the multiple breeds that get classified as “pit bulls” are just as likely to be a wonderful pet golden retriever.
WHAT ABOUT SPRINGER SPANIELS???
What about spaniels– made of fuzz- super spotty-barkish
and best : not a human-damaged animal A long capable nose, the moxie to go after stuff.
A Volvo driving, 1980’s friend said ” you take that dog for a walk, come in the front door, and it will bound out the back, ready for more! Whew”
um…messed up people hurt animals period, i’ve seen blacks and whites and others do this.
this is SO TRUE… not for me personally but most white people.
my wife hates it whenever people (always white) go on and about their dogs “personalities,” or let their dogs sleep in their beds or even kiss them.
of course where she’s from, central america, people tend to let their dogs breed incessantly and eat garbage, so maybe their can be some middle ground.
i don’t really care for pets and strongly agree that people are using them because they won’t make the effort to form affectionate human relationships.
ps - dogs smell bad but white people think this is endearing : P
Hey!
I take offense to that link to Korean cuisine! Use this link instead…..
http://www.swankpets.com/hot-diggity-dog-costume-swankpets-p-439.html
Are Koreans and Chinese still eating dog? I will keep mine as a pet and we will watch our favorite shows together, like Colbert and Stewart and that clever bright wonderful woman Katie Couric. (Does anyone like Katie Couric?)
@hurly burly
White people love big dogs! But nothing makes them feel better than to put thier 250lbs “slobberpuss” in a studio apt, and lie about it to the management. Then thier white neighbors leave passive agressive notes:
“I’m sorry to be a pain, but your dog kinda swolled my child. I know, it was probably an accident, but this is kinda a quiet little community, and, shucks, I’d hate to get lawyers involved. Your neighbor, Julie!
P.S. Love the halloween decorations! But, I follow an old Alaskian belief, and I feel that witches are actually a little offensive, so please remove it, THANKS!”
OMG. Now >>I<< just “pooped my pants.”
LOL!! While I am guilty of having had a HUGE golden retriever in a small apartment, I did walk him twice a day and he never swallowed a neighbor child (or maybe I just didn’t get the note!!)
I think there are two kinds of White folks: the BIG DOG kind and the little dog kind. I am from the first group, as we’ve always had BIG dogs, treated ‘em like family (I kiss my dogs, of course!) and — the telling element — my father’s greatest concern in his last days was how his dogs would be cared for after his death! I have one of them now, she is BIG and I love her.
Ugh! Yes, white people and their dogs! aaahhhh! If I have to hear one more nice white woman tell me she has to “run home and let the kids out to potty” I will lose my mind.
You’re so right! I’ve never seen a black guy with dog! Dogs are so white!
DUMB ASS
White people love dogs. Black people love to watch dogs fight. There’s a subtle difference.
I once saw a gigantic black guy with a tiny black puppy on a leash… he looked so fucking confused it was adorable. “hey, hey, whatchu doin’? Stop sniffin’ that!” God it was hilarious. Dogs are the domain of white people. Hands down.
You need to get out of the burbs some time. Down in the hood, you see nothing but black folk walking their overweight, barely socialized pit bulls with either massive pendulous testicles or rows of swollen titties flopping around. The other day I was driving out of town, and saw a yellow pit sitting on a street-corner. No collar, no leash, but obviously *very* pregnant. Woo hoo! Now *that’s* ghetto!
My white wife and I had a kid, and a couple of our white friends didn’t, but they said to us one time, in response to our being too overwhelmed with having an infant human to take care of, “We know how busy you must be; we have dogs.”
Do “folks” (wink wink!) like dogs? Aren’t they scared of dogs?
The culture of dog love has propelled the hysterical animal rights crowd. It’s true many white people probably care more about animal rights than the plight of poor people. The millions of dollars people spend on pets could be put to better use. Try saying that to a dog lover, they will give you the same blank stare a dog would.
i only give to animal charities because i don’t care about poor people. better to find all those homeless pups a good home first.
A homeless person can, conceivably, get a job. They have options open to them. Dogs and cats don’t. They rely entirely on people.
There’s millions of dollars spent on a lot of things that could “be put to better use”. But we live in a country where, when you earn money in return for working, you get to decide how to spend it.
I give to animals charities because I like animals. People are usually assholes, so I don’t give to them. This opinion, of course, makes me an asshole, which furthers my general point.
Amen, Wexsa!
monroe,
It’s well known that white people absolutely LOVE sarcasm, but even more so, sarcasm with an OVERHANDED approach.
Let the record show that we’ve processed the comments of this blog though our Whiteometer, and the results are unanimous. The Whitest Commenter on this blog is monroe. A sealed certificate of whiteness will be mailed by our underpaid secretary directly to you. Think we don’t know your address? Think again. We’re white people.
Sincerely,
The Duke of White People
“It is also a proven fact, that dogs are often used by white people to attract members of the opposite sex. Bringing a puppy or dog to a local dog park, will encourage interaction and conversation. Even more so than a Mac Laptop.”
Snarky experts on what white people like sure seem to like extra commas.
,,,,,,,,,,,
You people that are complaining about large dogs and small dogs at the dog park…why are you going to such crappy dog parks? Mine has two enclosures, one for large dogs and one for small dogs. Seriously, ya’ll have some ghetto ass dog parks if you’re expected to lump large and small dogs together.
In Colorado, we don’t have crapy enclosers; the’re way to ghetto.
Coming next: small dogs with hand-knitted sweaters (by Tibetan monks) that only eat organic-fair-trade dog food, which have dog iPods, used as bait to meet chicks in dog parks while discussing the latest outrage they just heard about on NPR which has been common knowledge to the rest of the world for years.
look at all the white people harboring such disdain for other white people and their freakish habits! keep outdoing each other! i’ll just sit and watch.
hopefully you and your chihuahua won’t be eaten for b’fast by my American Bulldog who just jumped your fence.
-snarky mc snarkster
“White people generally believe that dogs have human emotions ”
Because they fail to notice that anything with movable eyebrows can simulate emotion.
This is so freakin’ true! They sleep in the same bed as their dogs! Then the vote for Bush and McCain to see black and browns to die and kill other browns in Iraq.
Most of the men and women dead and wounded in Iraq are white.
WP and dogs? This is ssssssssssooooooooo true!
Just admit to being wacko, whitedoglover.. admit it…
I second CatsandBeer’s comment. Also single white women with one or more cats are the most judgemental of other pet mothers’ nurturing. Until that is they get a new b/f or g/f and move into a no-pets apartment or overseas. Then their beloved cats are dumped on parents or friends and forgotten.
Do White People like cats as much as they like dogs? My sense is that White People (as a people) like cats less than they like dogs, but that the White People who like cats like cats more than the White People that like dogs like dogs.
I have to comment on the comment of catsanddogs, but first.
It’s great that you have Frenchies up top. They are great dogs. However, white people like very expensive dogs. My spouse refused to divulge the cost of Aldo, our really cool French bulldog, for some time. He’s very quirky and affectionate. The thing is that my spouse decided she wanted a French bulldog. I didn’t want a dog after 20 years without one. We live in upstate NY and you have to walk a reticent Frenchie (they like to stay inside unless it’s to play) in 20 below wind chill temps! To make it short, Aldo was born with his stomach and intestines bunched up around his heart. Not good. $3,000+ later he’s ok. He also has no rear hip joints, i.e. we got screwed by a nasty breeder. I love Aldo, he’s the best. At present we have no cats because Aldo would drive a cat insane.
Back to catsanddogs, we love cats as much as we love dogs. I don’t buy that generalization. We may be in the minority, but it’s true for us white folk.
Ever wonder what Asian People Like?
Check out our response at:
http://asians.thinkunique.net
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!<