Juno, starring Halifax’s Ellen Page, is a critically acclaimed comedy about a wise cracking teenager, dealing with an unexpected pregnancy. As 2007’s Indie hit, it is alternative mainstream and white people love it when low budget movies do well, even though the $7 million budget is enough to feed thousands of villages in East Africa for a year. White people, especially ones over 30, also love movies that take them back to a time when there was zero hip hop influence in white high schools. So although the character of Juno and her high school are very unrealistic, older people identify with her and wish that their unappreciative children would be more like her.
On another note, the film takes place in a fictional suburban town in Minnesota, but imagine the same storyline in say West Baltimore or Socorro, TX. My guess is that there would be less qurkiness, less acoustic guitar and zero references to Dario Argento. Teen pregnancy is not as big a problem in the suburban midwest as it is in urban centers or border towns, therefore it is acceptable to not only green light a movie shedding light on teen pregnancy but it is okay to laugh at the situation and add a killer indie soundtrack.
It also doesn’t hurt that the screenplay was written by somebody named “Diablo” and that Jason Bateman and Michael Cera are in the movie as well.
p.s I’m not a robot, I cried when Vanessa got her baby
Just as funny as Juno
“Teen pregnancy is not as big a problem in the suburban midwest as it is in urban centers or border towns…”
-Yes, isn’t that white?
“therefore it is acceptable to not only green light a movie shedding light on teen pregnancy but it is okay to laugh at the situation and add a killer indie soundtrack.”
-Your site intrigues me. Honestly, I still don’t know how to take it.
True dat! White people love this film. fucking hilarious site. I like the picture too. The best thing about this site is the white people who get upset. ha ha.
I pooped my pants
You need to get some diapers!
yeah get alot of diapers
PS i love hotdogs like a fat kid love cake
and like black ppl love fried chicken?
[rolls eyes]…typical white person!!!
Nigga pleaz!
Rich, or at least middle-class white kids who get knocked up are a lot more appealing than their “inner-city” counterparts. Everybody knows that the inner-city kids are just doing it to get “the welfare.” For the white kids, it’s an honest mistake.
haha just like a dumb person. u must be white. white people don’t get welfare? please! those jerry springer white trailer trash ho’s get it. lol.
You should take it seriously. Very, very seriously.
Yes VERY Seriously. And it helps to post a maniacal, angry post that condemns this site; thereby proving your ultra-whiteness. Really, I mean it. Seriously.
“White people, especially ones over 30, also love movies that take them back to a time when there was zero hip hop influence in white high schools”
So true.
White people who aren’t rich enough will often drive all the way across town to shop at a “white” Wal-Mart in an area that they can’t afford to live in, even when there is one only a few blocks away.
I prefer black Wal-Marts. I go to the Wal-marts on the very-near-wrong side of town (but not the ones on the *wrong* wrong side of town, that shit will get you shot) when I’m looking for expensive electronics. Only place for miles around that you can find a 40″ Polariod LCD HDTV or Wiimotes. Mostly because nobody shopping there on a regular basis can afford any of that. Course, you may feel like you need a police escort when taking the TV out to your hybrid car, but once it’s in the trunk and you’re speeding back to the white, I mean, right side of town, you feel quite a sense of accomplishment.
LMAO stupid azz shook white boy.
In our town, there is no ” nice” Wal-Mart. Those with discerning sensibilities just shop at Target.
True-dat! No Walmart around here, but thank God for Target!
As a white guy, let me tell everyone, every word on this site is 100% true.
hey dumbass, the movie was a comedy, not an attempt to philosophize about sociology. jesus christ calm yourself down fucktard.
Juno had sex with a nerdy geek. Is that the same as being fucktarded?
I’m white, I live in Vermont, I went to art school, I loved Juno.
Monroe you spelled your name wrong, I think you meant to say Moron. Juno was obviously a comedy, and the author of this blog is plenty intelligent to know that.
I love this site, and yes, it’s all true. Posting #85 (The Wire) made me return all the DVD’s. And yes, I love Mos Def.
LOL y’all wanna be black so bad…….
way to use the word “fucktard”. can you throw out some more quirky sarcasm for us juno?
Douchebag is good, fucktard is better
Just what is a fucktard? I kinda’ like that word.
Yes. He needs to calm down. He was obviously seething with rage throughout that entire post.
i like how its assumed it is a he
=)
Me too.
The post script is the best part of this whole post.
:D
monroe is so upset … he must be white :D 
I’m white but more nerdy. What’s the movie still in the post that’s just as funny as Juno?
Brian,
I think the girl in the “just as funny as Juno” photo is Brittany Spears younger sister. She’s a teenager and recently announced she’s pregnant.
monroe,
It’s well documented that someone who uses the term “fucktard” is almost always 99.8% White. Also, our computers estimate that of that 99.8%, 95.2% are between the ages of 18-22.
Sincerely,
The Duke of White People
Ever hear Oprah rave about juno?
there’s yur flaw in this post.
well as a non-white upper middle class educated person, most of this site resonates with my life/surroundings/upbringing as well….so i think “white” is more of a construction rather than color of skin only
and oprah totally qualifies to be in this category
Oprah is white now.
Isn’t Oprah white at this point anyway? At least in her heart?…
haha. basically.
you got that right. the only people who watch oprah(especially when she has “regular” people on) are middle-aged white women who live in the suburbs. why do you think 50 cent’s never been on?
Black people don’t like Juno?
I’m black and I loved Juno! Although I must admit, I went to see it at the suggestion of my white, gay friend who drives a Toyota Prius, hates corperations and loves expensive sandwiches (no joke). FYI: I’m vegan…does this make me kinda white?
Lil Black Vegan…did your family disown you?
LMAO. i mean really! if i want to see a smart ass pregnant girl i would call somebody i know.
This site is hilarious. I guess I must be white cause I down with natural medicine.
After listening to the conversation betw Juno and the store clerk (Dwight Schrute) I knew that I would despise that movie. Not even Michael and Georeg Michael Bluth could save it- Jennifer garner was good though.
THIS IS SO TRUE fuck that stupid twee bullshit, trying so hard to be ~quirky~ with its burger phones and moldy peaches soundtrack.
Juno was the most gratingly annoying character I’ve ever seen on film. A smug 16 year old making Soupy Sales references?
fuuuuuuuck!
Superbad was even worse!
I’m tired of these movies about White hipsters discovering emotion through sudden and unexpected hardship. We get it: White folks got it easy!
I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this website as a whole. Cynicism and Irony sure do seem like awfully awkward ways to critique exoticizing, White liberals. Or maybe co-opting their style of humor is the point?
What do other folks think?
i think you summarized what the characters in juno are and the basic set up of this site!!
“exoticizing, whilte liberals…co-opting their style of humor is the point” = PERFECT, succinct description
sam, you are a genius!
http://whitewhine.tumblr.com/
stuffblackpeoplelike - eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike - keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike - eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike - kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike - wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike - sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
[rolls eyes]…typical white person.
The white race is like a child.
What’s the matter, can’t take a joke?
Btw, I’m not offended; I just thought I’d ask.
why is it typical white ppl?
i mean im black as HELL
and i feel the same DAMN way
so does my family
BITCH
Mexicans do like beans.
bUT SHouldn’t Juno be #1 on the list?
Because if another person comes up to me raving about that movie, I swear to gahd,
I’m going to scream
but if her name were
Taneisha and she was rocking out to some Eric B. and Rakim and she lived in Lafayette Gardens and the final duet was
You’re All I Need To Get By as covered by Mary J. Blige and Method Man
would you love it so damn much?
deep exhale.
like the site…going to use it to hunt for white men to date!
haha, some things here are a bit on target, but i hated HATED Juno. Just have to say that everywhere I go.
i bet kimya dawson will be doing $5 shows for the rest of her life getting out of debt for doing the soundtrack this flick (i though it was rad because i know the words to the songs) (cute)
but white people didn’t like it very much when Britney Spears’ sister got pregnant in real life. Some white folk wanted Nick to kick her off the air.
II don’t get it- probably cuz, I’m not white.
Yeah totally! White people are always so into low budget “emotional” movies to succeed, and non-whites only like to put their money toward 50 million + blow em up movies, because who needs to waste money on an “indie” movie when we already got movies!!!! WHY DON’T YOU GO FEED AFRICA?!!!!!
So mexican, are you saying that the $7 million budget for Juno could somehow feed more starving Africans than a $50 million blockbuster budget?
Clander is whiter than me because I’ve never even heard of this. He can hang out with me whenever he wants though.
Fuck this indie-teen shit
no one likes that.
I’m white, but I like fried chicken and hot sauce. I like it a lot. So I think that makes me less white.
At least less white than Oprah.
I thought Juno was a cute flick though.
I absolutlely hated Juno, it was almost as bad as that stupid Miranda July movie.
Juno would have been better if Michael Cera would have Donkey Punched her instead of her getting pregnant. Plus, I wish someone would have put a beat down on her every 20 minutes.
Hating Juno is going to be the next thing white people like. Give it a few more months.
For instance, remember Garden State? Donnie Darko? I ♥ Huckabees? Initially people (specifically hipsters/indie kids) were all, “ZOMG DIS MOVIE, ET IS TAH SHEET.” But then they realized that liking the movie stopped making them feel special, because other people were liking it. Then it became, “OH DIS MOVIE, ET IS LE OVERRATED.”
———-
….it was almost as bad as that stupid Miranda July movie.
———-
Oh no you di’n't, Karen. “Me & You & Everyone We Know” is the BEST FILM EVER MADE, or I ain’t white!
And Donnie Darko is the fourth or fifth best flick ever!
(Which gives me an idea too pass along for a future SWPL entry: longsleeve OP or Hobie Cat tee-shirts!!! Too rad!!!)
Juno was trash. My white girlfriend (even though she is Irish) and I thought it was terrible. It reminds us of Canada (and certain Canadians we know) - and if that ain’t a white country I don’t know what is.
I guess the reason I didn’t enjoy “Juno” was because I was a bit envious. If I had knocked up a girl in highschool my playwright father and modern dance mother would not have been so forgiving and understanding as Juno’s ex-Army dad.
Thank you so much for your insightful-whitefulness…
…oh yeah - I went to an inner city 1/3 black 1/3 hispanic 1/3 asian/caucasian/east island/arab etc. school and even though I sure the 2 campus/2400 students we had (not to mention on-site nursery) was a much larger school than the one in the film, we still had a shittier lunch menu.
Free Mumia!
I live in the Twin Cities and the local media is obsessed with this lady. They love her name and her look. She has a very media-friendly image.
I read the one about film festivals and commented on Juno, so I’m glad to see that it has its own post. White people love Juno soooo much! They also love bragging about being “one of the first” to see it. White people love when the discover something “hip” before everyone else does.
Just a suggestion, I think you should write about how white people love to use correct grammar. Seriously. They pride themselves on it.
i love this site so much but the midwest actually has a lot of pregnant teens, at some schools 2/3 of the girls get pregnant because they aren’t taught about safe sex in abstinence-only education so i wouldn’t say that it’s a movie about a problem that doesn’t exist
When you reach an extremely high level of whiteness, you will find yourself way too cool and immediately discard star-studded Hollywood faux-indie films like Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, etc.
What was wrong with Little Miss Sunshine?