#60 Toyota Prius
February 7, 2008 by clander
Over the years, white people have gone through a number of official cars. In the 1980s it was the Saab and the Volvo. By the 1990s it was the Volkswagen Jetta or a Subaru 4WD stastion wagon. But these days, there is only one car for white people. One car that defines all that they love: the Toyota Prius.
The Prius might be the most perfect white product ever. It’s expensive, gives the idea that you are helping the environment, and requires no commitment/changes other than money.
The Toyota Prius gets 45 miles per gallon. That’s right, you can drive 45 miles and burn only one gallon of gasoline. So somehow, through marketing or perception, the Prius lets people think that driving their car is GOOD for the environment.
It’s a pretty sweet deal for white people. You can buy a car, continue to drive to work and Barak Obama rallies and feel like you are helping the environment!
Some white people decide to pull the ultimate move. Prius, Apple Sticker on the back, iPod rocking, and Democratic Candidate bumper sticker. Unstoppable!
There are a few ways you can use this to your advantage. If you are carpooling to an event or party you can always say “can we take your Prius? my car doesn’t get good mileage and I feel guilty driving it.” And bam! Free ride! 
Also, if you see a white person in a Prius you can say “wow, that’s great to see that you’re doing something for the earth.” The white person will feel very good about themselves and offer to drive you home, to Ikea, or drop you off at 80s night.
This is a joke, right?
I pooped my pants
http://www.tucc.org
Jesus was the substance in the pooped pants.
your an idiot, right?
(you’re). way to look like a stupid third grader while calling someone else an idiot.
Please see Stuff White People Like #99.
You must be white!
“your an idiot” is one of my favorite phrases of all time! i can’t say i feel the same way about “you’re an idiot” though….
dude, this is funny and true. White folks (colorado) love the enviornment, outdoor stuff so much that they’ll do anything to protect it. And then drive in their trucks, SUVs, hybrid, 4wd to the (portected) mountains 3-4 times a week for biking, hiking, camping, etc. And if bears, foxes, racoons… raoming in their natural home happens to find campers’ trash and start diggin, chances are they will be shot dead- because they’re bothering the earth saving folks.
No, this is me.
I have a brand new Dodge diesel 3/4 ton pickup and love it to death. Speaking of death, watch out Prius my survival rate is 100 times yours if we have a collision.
Why would you think that?
so, are you white or what? btw, my Prius is white.
I saw a brand new Prius today in Ferrari red. It was striking.
Imagine the thrill of a white people car made in Japan calling to you in fluent Italian. Cool.
I’m pretty sure that it was “Barcelona Red” and not “Ferrari Red”.
Haaa ha ha. This post quotes almost word for word why my white friend was so incredibly psyched when he bought his Prius. This blog is freaking hilarious.
LOL
fucking hilarious and so true
I am a true southern cracker who has a strong prefrence for american made vehicles that consume gas at the rate that Prius “dippy car” Owners consume starbucks lattes. I would have a Chrysler 500, Mustang, Charger or Magnum any day over a prius.
Its not about white people snobbery, its snobbery in general, snobbery taken so far as to choose style over substance.
I walk to work and spend less than $10 a week on gas!
Prius owners- I’ll ice u in my monte carlo
Still Waiting on my flex fuel corvette baby
Support Detroit Auto workers!!!!!!!!!!!!Drive american
What? What’s an American car? I am pretty sure ALL AMERICAN car companies have factories in other countries, like Mexico. Furthermore, if they are assembled here, not all the parts are made here. Look at the details of your car. Where did the stereo come from? How about the interior? What about anything under the hood? Your mustang was probably made in Mexico. Quite with the ‘american’ made bull and try to understand that our companies are as much about the bottom line and the Benjamin as are any other multinational company.
It’s great that you hate prius and walk to work, however. Prius is overrated as it is.
This blog is very funny.
As the owner of a Prius I can definitely say it is NOT overrated. If I were still driving my 4-runner I would be paying the same amount in gas every month that I now make in car payments, and I don’t have the repair issues. Definitely saves me a LOT of money.
If Not A Republican had my job he would have to start very early in the morning to walk the 40 miles to work…and yes, most of what you call American is only put together here out of foreign parts.
But wouldn’t you be saving the environment and gas payments by moving closer than 40 miles to your job?
And just think of all the raw materials used and the size of the carbon footprint in producing that dear Prius. Surely the extra gas mileage will offset that in the three years, after the lease is up.
You’re so stupid!!!! American Cars!!!… The ford mustang has 65% American made whereas the Toytoa Sienna is 90% American made. Toytoa employees many, many Americans… Educate yourself, moron. BTW, I am a southern white person as well.
Ha ha ha….I love your blog!
not to nitpick, but..
EPA 60 mpg / 51 mpg
Actually, not anymore. It’s more like 45/48
I know who you are dp!!!! For I am also dp!!!!
BTW… I don’t drive a prius & ya’ll have wayyyyyyy to much time on your hands… especially you dp for not calling the other dp.
EPA has ALWAYS used flawed methods of testing MPG and their estimates are ALWAYS off by about 10% their old method was even worse on Hybrids and gave ridiculous figures that the car could never achieve In reality the Prius gets up to 45 MPG all-around
as for performance… well there isint any. hop in one find the longest onramp and try to get up to highway speed. you can’t the car is trash. Not to mention the fact your spending $21,000 (base) on a compact car that has an average lifespan of 100,000 miles. If you want a real car that gets awesome mileage buy a 1.4L TDI VW Polo it actually gets over 50MPG its also faster, safer, cheaper, better looking and more reliable than the Prius of course its only available in Europe right now.
You obviously never owned a Prius. I drive 80 MPH to work and get up to speed far quicker than any other car I’ve ever owned. Most people don’t even realize that the electric engine assists the gas engine, which gives it extra power.
Doesn’ t anyone do their research anymore?
Okay, so you have a fast Prius. Now put some money on that Prius (lots of money) and we’ll have a little race. Warning…my car has a battery,also.
Thanks for your insights. I have routinely gotten 50MPG in my Prius. I drive carefully and accelerate and brake gradually, and I monitor my fuel consumption closely. Looking forward to more hybrid subcompacts coming to the US!
Gee, look at the fun you’re having, wow!
Actually, I bought a Prius to get that sexy touch screen. It’s the ultimate nerd car.
Daggone, that’s so totally white.
Anyhow, I don’t want to save the environment. The environment can go screw itself as far as I’m concerned. I just want everything to have a sexy touch screen.
So true, my feelings exactly.
Nice! You’re the kind of person I want to take home and show to my white mom.
Ahahahahaha!
I hate Priuses. They’re almost universally driven by people who *should not drive*. They try to kill me regularly as I ride to work on my polluting, socially irresponsible motorcycle.
Maybe they’re swerving because they’re trying to fiddle with their touchscreens… Or maybe they just traded in their fixie and haven’t driven in five years. *shrug*
not to nitpick, but..
EPA 60 mpg / 51 mpg
Wow, dp, you are super white. Nice!
I gotta say…you’re really confusing white people with white liberals lately.
White conservatives hate Prii, and don’t tend to recycle, or care about poor people, or use natural medicine.
I also hate the Prius. I despise everything it stands for. Yeah, ok, you keep on driving your little one-notch-above-toy car and feeling “green, I’ll be over here doing burnouts in my Thunderbird and not kidding myself.
And hey, Saabs were not the official white people car of the 80s. They only sould between 30k and 50k cars each year that decade. Also, I never see white people driving old Saabs, unless they’re my age and obviously got the car from their parents. I WISH they were the official white people car of the 80s, then maybe I could find a decent one I can afford.
Though, we do all love irony, you certainly hit that one on the head.
I agree. You should see the look of horror I get from Prius drivers as I pull up to the next to them at the intersection in my Big, Bad, Mercury Marauder (think big cop car with a Mustang Cobra engine.) I swear, the icy gaze I get from those people can frost the windows on MY car, from the outside…!
Which usually gets a vicious, forest-fire grade burnout from me in return. The Prius owners almost wanna crucify me to the Burning Man and set me on fire, but as I roll down the windows to try and scrape off some the frost, they hear me bumpin some Mos Def when he was a part of Blackstar (which white people tend not to know about.)
They recognize Mos Def vocals, and in a flash I leave them in awe, as unbridled disgust turns into grudging respect.
haha I drive a 1997 Infiniti I30 with a big V6 and a missing cat-converter and do a ‘fuel dump’ anytime I see a Prius. thats either revving my engine in Traffic, leaving a huge track of rubber across an intersection or a 65-100 on the interstate, of course blaring Lynyrd Skynyrd won’t get me the grudging respect but hey, I never wanted it in the 1st place
You guys sound so jealous! I can certainly understand why when I pull up to the pump and leave while you are still standing there pouring your paycheck into your tank.
Really smart use of your money…
Yes, but see, as hardworking individuals who don’t spend their time thinking of ways to make themselves feel superior to everyone by trying to self-righteously impose their environmental bullshit on the world (probably because we have a JOB, you know, instead freelance work or money from parents) our paycheck is larger, and when poured out into gas, makes us about even with the prius owners.
Get your Toyota Pri(tentio)us today!
Thanks for funding Middle East terrorism!
Unless of course you are a conservative who chooses to drive a Prius to decrease dependence on foreign oil. But, regardless, you are probably white.
I am a whitepeople wannabe (white but poor). I get my status thrills by driving a 1993 Geo Metro that makes better mileage (47mpg) than a Prius.
I love it because it lets me sneer at Prius owners who pay $30K to get worse mileage thereby gaining status points for my poor white trash car as I try to put them down.
My wife says I am crazy. She says the point isn’t getting good mileage, the point is to make sure everyone knows you have $30K to p!ss away on a Prius.
I’m not going to lie I’m pretty down with getting good gas mileage and polluting less. I don’t see why it should be seen as negative to drive a prius. They do do something….
The whole thing behind the Prius is that you can spend $6,000.00 less on a hybrid Civic that gets the same mileage, accelerates the same and handles much better.
In fact, while hybrid sales have been flat for the last 5 years, only the Prius has shown growth. Why? Because it is the only hybrid-only platform. Civics and Altimas only have a little badge to distinguish the hybrid versions. Buy a Prius and spend six grand more just so that EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DRIVE A HYBRID. It’s the Liberal version of the POS H2 Hummer (which I might add was made with outdated and left over Chevy Suburban parts.)
You want to help the environment? Carpool, take public transit, ride your bike…
BTW, do you know how much toxicity lies within the Prius or any other hybrid’s battery systems?
I agree. The prius is not the most user friendly car out there and the Civic perfomrs better, is more user friendly and white or not, if you drive alot, it makes sense. BUT, the hybrid Tahoe, Yukon, Vue, Escape, HIghlander, Lexus, Altima and soon to be VOLT are all reasonable replacements for 15mpg. http://www.mycarlady.com
I also had a car salesman try to feed me the line about how you can spend less on a Civic and get the same mileage. The Civic does not get 45 MPH, even on its best days (the Prius never gets less) and it couldn’t handle better because I’ve never had a car that handled as well as the Prius.
It never gets less? How do you stop?
Sosueme is soooo right! $30k for a car you waited six months to buy so you can get the same mileage as a ‘93 GEO, beautiful!
I only paid $21K for my ‘08 Prius.
I considered the Civic, but the Prius has more space for baby seats and can haul a lot if you put down the seats. It also sits up higher than sedans.
Yeah I test-drove the Civic Hybrid, but ended up choosing the Prius because I could actually sit in the driver’s seat without craning my neck downward.
Actually, if you could find a good circa 1981 VW Rabbit, manual transmission, you’d probably be getting even better mileage.
Of course, the car is little more than an engine surrounded on four sides by compressed rust, but when you’re pimping something that only weighs as much as your Mac laptop, you’re going to get great returns (just don’t add weight by putting in a radio or air conditioning.).
Actually, at least in the UK, the reason people buy the Prius is because it isn’t horribly underpowered and you save on income tax and the London congestion charge..
If they say it’s about the environment, they’re lying.
These cars get stolen fairly often in Overtown down in Miami, maybe it’s all the hipster bars in the area that attract all these young urban white youth, then the crackheads mouths begin to water. Don’t drive these things near Martin Luther King Jr Drive ANYWHERE in America!
I saw some white dope driving one of these with a “4UEARTH” plate. Prius drivers confuse doing less damage with doing benefit. It’s like switching from beating your kid with a regular hammer to beating him with a rubber hammer and then thinking you’re doing the kid a helpful service. All you’re doing is slightly decreasing the massive and unnecessary damage you’re doing; this is not a meritorious behavior; you don’t deserve a pat on the back.
I hafta admit, I’m not really whiter than thou. I bought mine because I mistook the name for Priapus. My manhood took a nosedive, but I find I’m really hip at Sarah McLachlan concerts.
Oh, you dick-head!
lol
Secretly, white people wish they could build such a fine vehicle, and hate that only yellow people have been able to swing it. C’mon, white people and black people and red people and… what other colors are there…? Let’s get our collective shit together!
[...] #60 Toyota Prius [...]
oh i do love toyota
[...] do white people like? they like driving the prius, owning lots of kitchen gadgets, sarah silverman, irony, owning as manyapple computer products as [...]
The Prius, like other hybrids, are patriotic cars because they allow us to move one step closer away from dirty, foreign, insecure oil to the cleaner, domestic, more secure electrical grid.
I have a Prius, and am pleased with the high mileage and low emissions. I’m even more pleased that Toyota is planning on offering a second NiMH pack & plug on the 2009 version (currently being tested in California & Japan) that will allow for an all electric drive of 7 miles after an overnight charge (@ approx 70mpg).
I’ll be even more excited when GM comes out with the Volt, and Toyota comes out with the Prius III with a Li-Ion pack that allows for EV range from 20-40 miles. I just hope it is not too expensive.
Prius drivers hate foreign oil and wonder why non-Prius drivers hate Prius drivers more than foreign oil. Yeah, we can be smug. But hey, we don’t slam airplanes into buildings.
You’re being yotally sarcastic here, right?
I doubt that there is much “earth-saving” involved in owning a Prius. Yes, the mileage is very good in heavy traffic (the gasoline motor switches off for several miles at a time and it runs on the battery), which is good for my daily commute from eastern Long Island to the Bronx, but the manufacturing of the car , esp. the heavy battery (which may have to be replaced at around 100K miles, just when your $17,000 Hyundai or Corrolla is getting broken in) involves a lot of complicated and precision-built components not needed in your ordinary four-banger. It takes energy to do this.
The real reason I bought one? The car is considered an energy-saver, so I , along with a lot of other White People, get to use the High Occupancy Vehicle lane on the Long Island Expressway. Every day, I pass miles of stopped traffic…I see the grim faces of these drivers, late for work, and like Bill Clinton, I smile and wave to them to show that I feel their pain. They do not wave back.
To the non-Prius people, the Prius drivers are saying “look at me, I’m so socially and environmentally conscious!” It’s the pretentiousness of it. Like my coworker who wants to buy a Hybrid. No one asks him this, he volunteers this info so people will know he cares sooo much about trees and birdies.
Marc,
Anytime someone uses the term “Patriotic” to describe a person, place or thing…..BAM! You know they’re 190% White! You sir, are almost translucent.
Sincerely,
The Duke of White People
Jeff:
I am a white conservative, and I do not hate the Prius at all (although I have some misgivings, see my post above). And yes, I do wish that Ford or GM could have invented or licensed this technology. It might not be the wave of the future, but it is definitely the wave of the present. I am really tired of the way GM is letting Toyota and Honda eat its lunch every year.
Sosueme:
A Prius is not priced anywhere near $30,000. I paid $22,000 for mine last March. This came with a back-up camera (surprisingly handy) and lots of little electronic gizmos that I have not figured out how to use yet.
I love how Prius owners think their car is so environmentally friendly. This is a vehicle whose batteries are made in a factory in Canada that spews so much pollution environmentalists call it The Dead Zone. Then those batteries are shipped to Japan for assembly in the vehicles, and then the vehicles are shipped here. Real savers of the earth, Prius drivers.
But hey, have fun driving in your EPA revised-down-to-45 mpg car–my Ford Escort gets nearly as good gas mileage, I spent about $10,000-15,000 less, and I don’t need a camera to help me back out of a parking space.
Now $22,000 is expensive for a new car? Why don’t you climb up out of your little nest of tired talk-radio stereotypes and check out the Kelley Blue Book web site? A Prius costs $2,500 less than a new Hyundai Alera, $4,000 less than the cheapest V8 Mustang. A new Cadillac CTS is $33,000; so is the base model of the Ford Expedition. A BMW 335 is about $40,000; a new Corvette or the low-end Mercedes E-class costs about $50,000.
I will never for the life of me understand the hostility this innocent little car arouses among so many Americans. You cranks can’t all be secretly on King Abdullah’s payroll, can you? If you don’t like the Prius, there are hundreds of other models to choose from.
im white and i drive the blackist Mercedes-Benz going…i love to know im killing the world every time i fill its huge gas guzzling tank….ps fuck relycling….we goin out big people
[...] Let the Prius buying begin! Let there be whiteness! [...]
Hybrids are garbage.
Why not bring turbodiesels to the states? A Civic turbodiesel hatchback gets 50mpg and get this, it has TORQUE!
Can’t say the same for the Prius.
Too bad idiots in this administration can’t get the EPA to loosen up the diesel regulations.
Give me a BMW 335d that gets 45mpg anyday of the week over a Prius.