#66 Divorce
February 15, 2008 by mylosh
Most studies on the topic of divorce, focus in on the obvious. For instance the median age of divorce for white men is 30.5 and 29 for women. This is usually around the time when white people further over analyze their lives and look for change, even if some of the stuff that they accomplished, like having good credit, a high paying job, or the ability to purchase a hybrid car are things that people from other ethnicities would love to have.
Another key factor of divorce is children. On average people who divorce, do so when their children are between the ages of 7-10. Before the birth of their first child, white people like to spend thousands of dollars on books that tell them how to raise children So instead of simply letting their child watch Hannah Montana or work on their jump-shot, they will take them on weird activities suggested by some over educated individual with a PhD or force them to read a book that is meant for a 9th grader. This often leads to white children hating their parents especially when they don’t live up to their expectations.
While all of these are 87% true very little is spoken of the positive reasons on why white people divorce. Look at the sets of jobs below
Job Set A
marriage counselor
family therapist
lawyer
Job Set B
wedding planner
caterer
80s DJ
photographer
videographer
There is basically a large sector of white workers with arts majors, that would otherwise be unemployed were it not for the high rate of divorce. So just like the love of lawyers, getting divorced is a way to give back to the community. Not getting divorced would have same effect as pulling Shell out of Nigeria or call centers out of India. People would be on the street and a civil war would break out.
The list in Job Set A deals with the actual act of divorce. Married couples like to go to lawyers, counselors and therapist before, during, and after a marriage. There really is no need to pay $300 an hour to talk to someone who has read a lot of eastern European authors, but Hollywood has done a great job of popularizing this profession, and as mentioned above, there is a charitable aspect to this as well.
The list in Job Set B deals with weddings. First of all white people love throwing weddings, and if the first wedding did not go according to plan or if a close friend’s wedding had clever invitations, better desert or a samba band, then the act of the divorce serves as gateway to give it another shot. Secondly many white people in their late teens / early 20s make the mistake of taking film or photography in college. Since Hollywood can not employ everyone, the wedding industry is the one field that allows all these poor arts majors to pay for their rent and their first divorce later
Happy Day after Valentines Everyone
right on, fuck expensive weddings. i hope what this post is suggesting is true… that only rich white people and white people who aspire to be rich actually care about having big weddings. although i’m not sure, it might be bullshit like the rest of this site. for example look at indian weddings! oh well if it is true maybe i can convince my girlfriend that she’s been brainwashed by the white man.
I pooped my pants
you forgot about expensive hand printed wedding invitations made by white folks for anyone who has the coin for something not picked out of a three-ring binder…
#69
“Knowing What Minorities Think of Them. . .”
This is not true at all!
Yea, my husband and I did marriage counseling for a while… and we did have a couple sessions with a well respected family therapist (recommended by several of our friends)… but we are NOT using a high priced attorney. We are filing our own divorce papers! As for high-piced wedding #2 … God help me if I ever decide to drop that rock on my foot again!
Great site - love it all!
Excuse me PGRB - but your post demonstrates that this is exactly true.
this is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read all day
I’ll help you out with some new posts
#69: Racist Jokes (especially white jokes)
#70: Reading What Ethnicities Think About White People
#71: Chris Rock
#72: Respecting Other Cultures (see Pelosi weaing abbiya)
#73: Learning A Foreign Language
#74: Talking Like Black People
#75: Country Clubs
#76: Black People Who Always Smile
#77: Tiger Woods
I’ve read your whole site and you guys are geniuses. You’re forgetting an important thing white people like though…
Supposed health benefits.
You know what I’m talking about.
White people worry about Heath anything because we all have to work to survive, welfare isn’t for our color we are to light for help! As for divorce White people get married and try to have familys, not the larger percentage of our men are sperm banks!
You mean how medical articles minorities are always saying non-whites have a high risk of every medical problem you can find an article on, even though you only hear about white people afflicted with them?
You won’t be a good blogger until you learn to use punctuation and grammar correctly, no matter your skin color.
I like how the rate of divorce is much higher among poor people and southerners.
What this blog is basically implying is that white people are a well educated, highly civilzed, cultured, sophisticated people. I like it. Eat your heart out Jerry Springer!
Here’s one:
How about White people claiming some sort of distant non-white ancestry? You wouldn’t believe how many one-sixtyfourth Cherokees I know.
Amen brother.
I suppose we’d be better off if, like black people, we never bothered to get married in the first place and our wage-earning men never took care of our kids at all.
You might think that’s funny, but think again. Maybe try this on for size as a What White People Like:
White people like to terrorize other non-white people particularly if the whites are poor and ignorant. But, that’s the majority of them, right? Oh I’m sorry, is that offensive. I am offended with your assumption that Blacks don’t marry and Black men don’t take care of their children. Think again.
This site is freaking hilarious!
I don’t want to offend the writer of this piece on white people, but do you actually KNOW any white people? I can’t tell if you are trying to be funny, or you just didn’t do your homework. I hope anyone reading this piece realizes that I am a white female and hardly recognize my own race in this article. If this was tongue in cheek, I do apologize. (tongue in cheek, for non-whites means not to take this seriously) It makes the white race sound like idiots. Its a wonder how we’ve managed all these years…
wow, calm down,. It’s like when mexicans got mad because b/c they thought the taco bell dog was portraying them,, it’s not representing ALL white people. Get a sense of humor.
i’m sorry for you, and your race.
love,
a white female
Put DOWN your Starbucks and step AWAY from the laptop.
Hey Viki- can anyone conceivably NOT know any white people at this historical moment? You can’t not “actually KNOW any white people” if you are alive, on this planet, in this quadrant of space and time.
Just a reminder. Or perhaps you are a victor from the future? IN which case, my apologies, Viki, and welcome to the present. Otherwise known as “reality”.
I’m ashamed of myself. Out of the almost seventy things that white people are supposed to enjoy, I like only five or six. I guess I must not be white.
I feel like Navin Johnson in ‘The Jerk’ — “I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi…” You know the rest.
Radar Man
…however you’re reference to “The Jerk” makes up for all those other points you didn’t score on the list, and so relieves you of all shame of not being white enough.
Damn Listen about Whitey.
Stuff White People Like —
-Wanting to understand blogs that they don’t get
-Commenting on blogs
-Wondering why a blog about white people includes several posts about things that they don’t like (common reactions - “Am I still White?!” or “This post is so terrible! I don’t even like that, and I’m White!!”
-Overthinkin it in general
this is for liberal white people…you know the kind that people WISH were true, but with all the comments people are finding that there are actually alot of disgruntled neo-con whites
Funny stuff!
What about spending money on “romantic” stuff? Flowers, cards, candies…isn’t that very white?
Brilliant.
Oh, and we like tea as well.
According to the latest government figures, African American couples are divorcing at a higher rate than either whites or Hispanics. The divorce rate for Blacks currently stands at 12 percent. This compares to 10 percent of white couples divorcing each year and 7 percent of Hispanic couples.
Agree with you Hugh Jorgan, it needs to discover how to link to it’s sources as well.
It’s great that it is dedicating so much of it’s life to the discovery of white folk. It further proves the envy that blacks have for whites and their jealousy of them. What we’ve known for generations.
Envy is an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.
I’m white, I’m married, I drive a hybrid, I have good credit, and you could have most of these things too if you weren’t so caught up on the color of skin. It will hold you back for the rest of your life, and I will forever be ahead of you because of it. So keep on with it, it only helps me.
Can you imagine the furor if there was a blog, “What Black People Like?” There would be outrage!
As for this question: Black men, so often, don’t get married. They knock up a few women and feel no remorse - whatsoever - about leaving without a trace. I work in a social agency that must deal daily with the ramifications of this. And yes, it’s a largely black phenomenon. It’s what Bill Cosby has been talking about - taking responsibility.
But again - I can’t believe this blog. Any, “What Black People Like,” blog that is so full of stereotypes, like this blog is about whites (can you imagine: Fried Chicken anyone? Watermelon?) would be considered over-the-top racist — and rightfully so. Just like this blog.
there is: http://stuffebplike.com/
Rabble rabble rabble!!!
this isn’t a black blog - this is an asian blog - this blogger is asian. many folks assume this blogger is black I think, but they’re not. they’re asian and they live in Los Angeles, California.
One of the best things about this not-racist blog is that it brings out the funny from real racists - good stuff - I got to experience some of this same kind of fun on my site - I never imagined I’d be called a nigger once, let alone many times - God bless the Internet
Apparently not ALL white people love irony….ha!
Your blog is amazing and so very, very spot on.
I’m white. This blog makes me feel guilty — about feeling guilty.
Oprah Winfrey makes me feel good.
You know what’s awesome? When they hear about an arranged marriage and start saying how they last longer than traditional marriages and assume that the person who has to know everything about Yoga and spicy food can enlighten them on why this is. Bonus points when they tell you that would solve the divorce rate problem. Maybe it will be the new Asian home remedy for marriage, force people to marry someone because there is dowry at stake. That’s awesome.
How do you make an Asian blind?
Put a windshield in fronrt of them……
This reads like an angry Asian male column of dudes who could not get with the whiite gal….perhaps begatting Va-tech style action.
I’m not exactly sure if this only applies to white people, I’m black and I know plenty of black people that did the exact same thing.. but It was interesting.
Half these comments will be removed by morning….what happened to “diversity of opinion”? Wait, blogger way too white…..
Man, people need to chill. Some of you are taking this site too seriously. I think this blog is suppose to be humorous with a bit of satire…its pretty hilarious. If you read all the posts/entries you will notice the bloggers are describing a particular kind of white person; the type that don’t usually get targeted by humorists ( i.e. liberal “yuppies”, hipsters, etc. ). Since I consider myself pretty liberal I know all too many who are described in this blog ( not only white people and myself included ) and many would not like being made fun of in this fashion because they often tend to take things/themselves too seriously, and I think thats part of the point of this blog. Also, since I’m Mexican I wouldn’t mind a similar site ( with the same sense of humor as this site ) based on my ethnicity because flipping sterotypes on their head for a meaningful discussion should always be welcomed.
This blog title is misleading: what you are in fact referring to and mocking is a certain subsection of white people in North America (mainly the US and to a lesser extent the non-Francophone parts of Canada), who are liberal/left-wing poseurs with above average incomes.
Most whites in the UK (where I am from) are nothing like that! Indeed, many whites from America itself are nothing like the whites you mock here. Moreover, whites from the non-anglophone world would hardly recognise any of the stereotypes you portray here. Talk about ethnocentric!
I suspect you are an Angry Asian Male (AAM) who has been brought up and educated among upper-middle class whites, subjected to their patronising behaviour and seen most of “your” fellow Asian women hook up with white men. This blog is your way of expressing your anger and getting some measure of revenge against the whites who have bothered you for so long. It’s funny and all, but please remember the target of your lampooning is a very narrow sub-section of the Caucasian race as a whole.
Oh, and Asians can be just as funny and weird too.
Ahhh. Now I get it. The blogger is Asian. Probably hates seeing all those interracial White Male/Asian Female couples, while you rarely see it the other way around.
Many people are missing the point of this blog. It is meant to poke fun at the image of the average white American progressive/liberal type - you know, the Birkenstock-wearing, latte-sipping, Prius-driving vegetarian art student with a large trust fund (ie. my cousin who lives in California.)
I suppose the people who are offended are the kind of white people the blog effectively skewers.
I am white and originally from the Seattle area and at least 90% of these blog posts are hilariously true about either me, my family, or our neighbors. Great job! Keep it up!!
(and I read all the archives)
Back in the 50s when white people watched TV in black and white, they did not divorce. I blame color!
Stuff white people like:
Trying to figure out “what’s wrong” with someone by reading into a blog.
Telling other people how to manage their feelings.
Saying “that’s not me or my family or my friends” when it is.
Another thing my fellow whites like: road trips, whether with friends (when younger) or family (when older), seeing crappy tourist traps and going to amusement parks, etc.
Stephanie #39 wrote:
“Another thing my fellow whites like: road trips, whether with friends (when younger) or family (when older), seeing crappy tourist traps and going to amusement parks, etc.”
Come and work in Asia as I have been doing for the last 11 years and you will see that MILLIONS of Asians (Chinese, HKers, Taiwanese, Koreans, Japanese) do these exact same things!!!
Jesus, have any of you idiots ever seen how crowded Tokyo or Hong Kong Disneyland is ANY TIME OF THE YEAR? Those places are packed, and 99% of the people there are ASIANS.
There is nothing you can accuse white people of that Asians don’t do in spades as well.
But don’t let my protestations stop your envy and hatred of white people… you Western-born and educated Asians are the biggest hypocrits in the world!
Very funny. I’m white and all that. No divorce but many of my friends have been there, too.
Some of these comments are, well, not so funny. Shrink, anyone?
getting divorced is a way to give back to the community
Well, I was never much of a communitarian in the first place.
- Elinor Dashwood, mother of five (four of them taxpayers and one a soon-to-be-deployed Marine!) and about to celebrate Cacciaguida’s and my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary
I’m in agreement with many of the comments above: after reading these posts I believe the author/s are educated Asian-Americans, not skilled in math or sciences, somewhat activist/hip hopper-types who have an axe to grind. A lot like Seung Cho. Probably Korean, Filipino or maybe South Asian. Probably not Chinese or Japanese. I believe there are males and females posting b/c the comments display both male and female insights. And the authors have a lot of exposure to upper middle class blue-state white people. Based on the New York city post (a city far more revered by every single ethnic group than it is by white people) they probably live in California. This is further supported by the latte drinking, prius driving stuff. All that being said, it is spot-on with respect to the specific upper-middle class yuppie white people that it targets. Unfortunately, this blog gives no respect to what the “real” white people like: NASCAR, Harley Davidson, Backyard Barbecues, Ultimate Fighting, Football, Beer Pong, and making jokes about blacks, latinos and asians. Thus,since I like this blog and respect its authors, I plan to agitate regularly for appropriate coverage of true white people- in addition to coverage of the starbucks crowd.
Great blog. Inspiring.
And here are a few other things white people love: joshversejason.com
How interesting is this?
I just divorced myself from it!
what the hell is ur issue? youe a pregadist! wat bout stuuf black people like? go to hell
#Something
Not having a sense of humour about themselves.
This site is hilarious and people need to chill the fuck out. All this “it would be racist if” is bullshit; poking fun of whiteness by definition can’t be racist because people of color do not have the political power to impact decision making that affects white folks negatively the way that white people do to affect people of color, in government and the rest of civil society institutions in general (the church, schools, etc.) (read Gramsci).
I’m an Asian American womyn and I like probably three fourths of the stuff on here (except Barack Obama, oh no I’m racist! and coffee). I recognize that this comes from my class privilege and geographic location but I’m not going to cry about it because I have a sense of humour and can understand that this shit is some good ass social commentary.
“poking fun of whiteness by definition can’t be racist”
HAHAHAH, OH WOW
Potential future topics:
Dave Matthews Band
LOST
The Office
PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon)
And I second the Road Trip suggestion
I’m white, and I LOVE ‘em all! (And I also see the humor in loving each of them)
A few additions that always help me whiten my day:
#69 crocs/Uggs/socks with sandals
#70 being “witty”
#71 private schools
#72 beach locations that are freezing cold 70% of the year
#73 Time outs/grounding
#74 acoustical music
#75 trying to tease a moral out of every situation
#76 becoming an expert in something totally unenjoyable yet pretentious
#77 telling people about every last detail of the weekend on Monday morning
#78 daycare and nannies - regardless of the fact that only one parent works
Can someone call Dave Chappelle? This list is about #2, 385 items short of being complete.
OMG I love this! After reading this blog I have come to the conclusion that I am not white!
Boy, some of you white upper-middle class liberals out there REALLY can’t take a joke, can you? And it’s obvious that that who is being targeted here; after all, the assumption on this site is that “white people” are Democrats, when most whites vote Republican (you can look it up).
This site should be called “Stuff Upper-Middle Class Blue-State White Liberals who live on the Coasts Like” but I don’t imagine that would have generated as many hits…
And by the way - “Womyn”?… Gramsci?… You have GOT to be kidding me! Sometimes comments are almost too good to be true!
Don’t you have a spell-check?
I am in total agreement with the posts above…the author of this blog is ASIAN.
This blog reeks of
“Asian American (I am almost 99% it is Korean-American) Guy who realizes that the Fixed Action Patters of Upper Middle Class, Urban, Liberal White People” is the standard target and pinncale lifestyle to which almost all wealthy and educated people in America strive….and is a bit peeved at it so decides to poke fun of it in a light, but still somewhat derisive manner”
For all of you who mistakenly believe that the author is black or hispanic, I quote the famous SNL skit: “Nigga Please!”
Although Black or hispanic people poke fun at and find much of white culture quirky and hilarious, they do not write blogs which dive so deep into showcasing white culture and critique in a way that exudes insecurity or a vent-up “grudge” as this one does. You can see that that none of the items in this blog are really far from fact. Alot of the items of in the list do indeed apply to a very large section of white population in America. The author does not really lie or distort reality. However, that’s just it. Only Asians find the reality of white culture to be bothersome to their pre-programmed prejudices of what is superior. Hispanics and blacks would be more likely to make up and totally distort the reality of white culture and make jokes about it and leave it at that since they really don’t care what white people do as long as it doesn’t infringe upon their enjoyment of life. In other words, Hispanics and blacks are perfectly fine with the whites wanting to recycle, drive Priuses, live by the water, shop at Whole Foods or what not because if they were making as much money or obtaining the same level of financial comfort, many black and Hispanics would probably want to do the same thing too. Or, they would choose not to, but it doesn’t bother them. Simply put, black and hispanics are comfortable being themselves and with white people being different. They really don’t have any dreams or illusions of black or hispanic culture dominating the “stuff that white people like culture” and really don’t get annoyed that liberal, urban white culture is what it is.
However, with Asians, it is a completely different story. Asians have this strange underlying “grudge” or I should say, “inferiority complex” with any culture or people that are different from themselves but hold a dominance in the society in which both live. Thus, this reality does not fit well with the natural competitive and insecure nature that personififes so much of the Asian immigrant culture in the western world. Unlike black and hispanics, the Asian population in western countries has already reached the same level of economic/financial success that white people hold, and in Asian culture, there is no greater feeling of enjoyment than seeing yourself becoming the dominant power. Thus, because Asians share pretty much the same socio-economic status as whites, they are much aware and exposed to white, urban, liberal blue-state culture since they probably work alongside these types of white people and probably have gone to the same wealthy, high ranked, hippie universities full of white people that this blog ridicules. Not too many black and hispanics have reached this position to be so close and neck to neck with the white population that is the target of this blog. That is the diference.
Thus, Asians see that in this country (USA) or whichever country in which Asians and whites are neck to neck, that despite sharing almost the same economic status with that of the white population, the standard for hipness, wealth, and whatever is considered “cool”, fashionable or trendy is basically “stuff that urban, progressively-minded white people like”…not stuff that “rich, successful, science/engineering background-minded Asian people like.” This reality conflicts and does not bode well with what these Asians have believed throughout their entire lives from birth which is that “Our Asian culture is superior to any caucasian culture because our race is the most intelligent and most beautiful in the world”. It is a commonly known fact that Asian culture in the form of parents, schools, media drill this message of racial superiority into their heads from birth. Thus, when these kids grow up and actually see that reality of the world is totally different from what their masters in their little Asian enclave of racial superiority has told them, they get confused, jealous and spiteful to the point where they need to find tribal comfort in congregating with other Asians and finding humor in telling each other how funny it is that white people’s culture is so different from theirs.
The irony is, however, that in secret or behind closed door amonst themselves, alot of Asians actually yearn for the same things found on this list…especially living by the water or shopping at high end groceries. However, they are just irritated that they came from a culture in which their families could not afford to or did not give a rat’s ass about the environment, recycling, helping poor people in third world countries, eating organic food, helping causes, g