#69 Mos Def
February 17, 2008 by clander
In the olden days of white culture, people used to look up to Kings and Princes. These were the people that they adored, and every night they wished and hoped that somehow they could wake up and be just like them. But with Royal Families crumbling, that role has been filled by one man: Mos Def.
He is everything that white people dream about: authentic (”he’s from Brooklyn!”), funny (”he was on Chapelle show!”), artistic (have you heard “Black on Both Sides?”), an actor (”he’s in the new Gondry film!”) and not white (”I don’t see race”).
He has done an amazing job of being in big budget movies (The Italian Job) and having one of his songs become a white person wedding staple (Ms. Fat Booty) but still retaining authenticity and credibility.
If you find yourself in a social situation where you are asked to list your favorite actor or artist, you should always say Mos Def. This way you can name someone that everyone has heard of and you don’t look like you are trying to one up anybody. The only possible negative consequence is some white people might think “I wish I had said that first.”
He also did “Real Time” with Bill Maher
White people love em some Bill Maher
I pooped my pants
How come this ‘damn’ person is always shitting himself, on exactly the second post as well?
He is consistent…
Bran, I bet it’s bran that keeps him this regular.
White people like bran!
Are you a serial killer?Mhlato wakho!
OMG, musa ukuthuka wena…
I think I saw that, he was on there with Cornell West, too, right?
White people like chameleo-ebonics.
De la Soul guys, DE LA SOUL!!! - or is this a very english white stuff thing?
in my country it’s J5 that drives white folk nuts
Interesting, I usually tell people I like Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is like this friend in my head. I guess I am a bit silly…but I love his work from years ago on Twentyone jump street. But most recently I am a buff of Pirates of the Caribbean. Can you figure that one Out?—-great blog…
you know what else white people like? They like to create “ironic” blogs. So white, these blogs full of irony!
OOO! OOOO! OOOOOO! I’ve got one!
Tattoos with words that are written in Asian languages (preferably Sanskrit or Tibetan): they always know how that particular word/phrase translates into English, but they often get it wrong! and they NEVER know how to read/write/speak anything else in that language… heh-heh — aside from Ohm…
This is the first site that I’ve read all the way through in one sitting.
THANK YOU!!
Its not “Ohm” dude…Its “OM”
Its not “ohm” dude..its “OM”…N i agree wid u…its the funniest blog i ever came across…Although none of the white people I know r anything like this…but maybe i’m friends wid the wrong kind of white people?
My second wife used to love this guy, especially when he’d open for Lyle Lovett.
What a white person’s bill!
blahblahblah up there missed the post about how white people love irony. Is that ironic?
blahblahblah is so white he is post-ironic.
I note that there is a special class of uberwhite person who is compelled to put down anything that describes and tells the truth about how weak and feeble many white people actually are. It makes that white person feel strong. But the feeling fades and they are compelled to do it again.
This really more of a “what white ‘urban’ hip guys like,” but,yeah, I can definitely see all these. Not so sure if I’m the biggest fan of divorce but Mos Def fits perfectly.
I dunno. Most white people under 40 have never heard of Mos Def. One of the weaker Stufff WHite People like entries.
I meant over 40.
sppoooook
Don’t forget The Roots.
Mos Def also starred in the film version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy, which was required reading when white people were teenagers/college students. This is especially true of techies and pseudo-techies; many who are trying to prove their nerd cred will claim to have read this book. White people love Mos Def’s role in this film because they are tickled when brown people have British-ish accents* or recognizably “bohemian/eccentric” style,** and because his presence makes said movie less white.
*See also: White People Like Des’ree.
**See also: White People Like Macy Gray.
Moss Deaf says, “Most white people [over] 40 have never heard of Mos Def. One of the weaker Stufff WHite People like entries.”
Ah, I was about to suggest “White people like Rob Reiner films,” but that doesn’t seem to fit in the blogger’s demographic (which is a touch younger). I smell a bar graph comin’ on…
Typically “white” is the love for Moleskine notebooks (or probably rather to waste money on them).
What the hell is a moleskine notebook? Yay! I don’t know what that is, and I am not going to google it–I’m not as white as I thought.
woot! woot!
we love em cause they embody the romantic ideal of the wandering artist. the lost generation carried them all over paris, having one implies familiarity with their output, a devotion to bohemian ideals yet enough money and education to not be considered actually bohemian. and they can be (legitimately) used publicly. we love us some highly-orchestrated conspicuous consumption…
My uncle is married to a white woman and they gave me a moleskin notebook for Christmas. LOL
I must agree with you as I work in an art store and those damn books fly out the store with white people.
I’m not sure white people under 30 know who Mos Def is either. Concious hip-hop hits the 30-40 sweet spot.
my son at 17 knew Mos Def. revise your bar graph!
Ask if tell the difference between Mos Def and the RZA though.
RZA is the one with the cute little dog listening to the old record player. Right? Oh, no, wait he’s the guy from Woopt Tank. God, I am sooooo, sloooowww. I better go to Java Bean and suck down a cup of hot, black Joe. There’s nothing like slirping down some hot, black Joe to get me going! Then comes the JZA!
woot! woot!
all look a like
Actually, I went to a Mos Def concert a few weeks ago and there were about seven white senior citizens sitting in front of me.
You are not the first to do this. And i haven’t seen the most obvious thing all white people universally like, blogs!
Talib Kweli is also acceptable.
This blog is especially funny, once I figured out that you’re actually this geeky little white dude…
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2268/2142023992_14fc5a3d2f.jpg?v=0
This entire blog would be offensive if it didn’t describe me so well.
I wonder if the Black Eyed Peas would have been an entry on this blog if Fergie had never joined the group.
[...] 17, 2008 · No Comments Funnie blog alert! Stuff White People Like writes, In the olden days of white culture, people used to look up to Kings and Princes. These were [...]
This is awesome! I am white and I love all of these things you’ve written about, for the exact reasons you mention!
Some other things you could write about: art walks, graphic novels (NOT comics!), “older stuff” (as in, Radiohead is OK, but I only like their older stuff), dance lessons, high-end stereo equipment.
What hipster enclave do you live in?
White people where I live don’t know Mos Def.
I live in Des Moines, Iowa. Lots of white people here. Many do not know who Mos Def is.
I enjoy his music, and the rap music in general. I am white, so very, very white.
SPF 9876 ftw!
What we white people like most is ethnic sex! The men love asian chicks, (so colonial), and the women love the black dudes and a lot of white men also like that brown sugar, (reminds us of the good old plantation days). For me I have fondness for Indian women - Jewel in the Crown.
Who the hell is Mos Def????
[...] do all white people like mos def? [...]
F**k, now the site is even calling ME out.
My dad–who loves wine, being near water, and the sunday NYtimes–wouldn’t know a Mos Def song if it hit him over the head, but he can’t get enough of him in Italian Job! He quotes his “i had a bad experience” line weekly! We also shouldn’t forget that Mos Def did a bit of “legit” theater acting as well, which fits white people’s love of plays.
Hey Uncle Ass: I just started learning my 15th language. How many freakin’ languages do you speak?
Hardwood floors! Hardwood floors!
Ever notice how whitepeople just love hardwood floors? And it’s not just that they LOVE them. To understand how much they love them you have to talk to whitewomen about them.
I can still remember the first time I spoke to a whitewoman about hardwood floors, and for her it wasn’t just a simple design preference, it was as if the choice was one of moral dimensions. She spoke - and I’ve had similar conversations with other whitewomen since - as though carpet was made from the shaven fur of tortured puppies. And not just any puppies, oh no - they were made from the fur of baby labs.
In the presence of these whitewomen you can be gay a lesbian a pedophile an abortionist or a Mexican coyote. In fact it’s probably better if you are. But you sure as hell better not let her find out that your home has wall-to-wall carpeting.
What, did you come from another planet?
Hardwood floors…
Oh, and home design shows. Not the Bob Villa/Norm Abrams kind, where you actually have to do much of the work, but the Extreme Home Improvement kind, where a vast cohort of mostly gay male design pros come in and “improve” the whole thing for you - preferably by tearing it down and starting over.
If they rip up the carpet to find hardwood floors underneath, well that’s all for the better.
They now have Africanas Americana flooring as well.
I prefer Dizee Rascal.
love the blog, please make an american apparel post!
Mos Def was great in THPS 2.
Does “mos def” stand for “most definitely”? or is it like “mos sad” ?
hmmm
I have no idea who this dude is, nor do I give a shit.
This is funny! And LDW, you are so right about The Roots. I went to a Roots concert last year and the whites outnumbered any other race at least 10 to 1. I think they like the off-kilter drums.
I’m really enjoying your blog. Consider offering it to a publisher, it sure could be released as a book!
Mos Def borrowed a lot from comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, the nervous, half-slurring way of talking/mumbling. But I like it. This blog not so much.
Too cheap and easy, race-baiting cutie-ness, which is not a white person quality, but really a young, attention-craving, don’t have many real worries in life, middle-class person quality. This is scientifically proven as well.
who gives a shit about mos def, where are the white comedians in all of this
Christian, this is genius.
how stupid are you kids? mos def hates white people! have you ever actually heard this motherfuckers lyrics before 2004???
Mos who? Oh, The…um…who??
I Think I saw him In that Awful mess of a Movie “The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy” and frankly, if he’s the guy i’m thinking of, he sucked. But then again, the whole movie sucked. Too bad Douglas Adams Didn’t live to see it and sue for Defamation of Character.
If that movie is any indication. He’s a talentless hack.
…and since when does being from crooklyn mean anything. Crooklyn Sucks!
Hilarious blog!
What I would really like is for someone to explain to me why white people need to keep their window curtains and shades open at all times so that people can see what their houses look like on the inside.
OMG! That is soooooooo true. Whewwww I almost fell out my chair. That HAS to make the list….
#92 Curtainless Windows
At least they have houses, not huts
haha @meekaa. Too funny. I know because I live in said neighborhood amongst such people and I do the same.
at least my hut has curtains jack ace!
Oh my gawd.
You are killing ‘em.
As a life long b-girl and feminist, I have heard MANY an arguement of WHY Mos is/isn’t talented, why white folks like him MORE than Blacks.
Bravo.
Again. Another Dope post.
I’m white and never heard of him.
16 anna
I’m not sure white people under 30 know who Mos Def is either. Concious hip-hop hits the 30-40 sweet spot.
Kanye West and Common are conscious rappers also
Mos Def and Talib also have a super group together
look it up
no white people in that age range listen to hip-hop
maybe a really small number
anyways
everythingimnot.wordpress…. you know the rest
check it out
Mos Def is dope. (Is that white enough for you)
Best post on the interwebnet evah.
trufax.