#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
February 24, 2008 by clander
Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.
For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now.
Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.
Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”
They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.
But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.
Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.
Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.
I would only move to BC, because that is where all the chinas and viet bitches live, and you know how I love that gook pussy.
This would be more appropriate under #11, “Asian Girls”. Also white people don’t say gook. Unless it’s a contraction of the words Good and Cooking maybe. We’re not allowed to be racist; we’re white.
yea that is a comment for #11. and yes we all love gook pussy, if you’r white,black, but somehow mexicans just are not in that circle. HUMMMMM would go into details but will save that for another time.
^ true I lived in vancouver for 8 years.
go canucks
LoL how many comments, pbly because the site is dropped amongst the first ones in google.
I’m from Europe/Hungary. It took me 20 years to leave that shithole system now I live in Sweden, but it isn’t the best either.
Kinda pathetic that the people from the USA want to move to Europe without knowing anything about it or it’s history. Why would you ever move to this shitpile continent? The education suck, people suck, taxes suck.
Want to get a job? It’s usually not enough to speak english, you have to learn 1 more language like swedish, norvegian, german, french depending where u want to move, and why the fuck would you waste time to learn their fucking language?
They say Europe is open for the professionals, but a lot of people gets ripped off by agencies, companies and end up with nothing when they move to a foreign country.
We are not fucking pussies here in Europe, this is a hard world here. The education system 10 times harder than in the fucking usa and you will drop out, then you have to make your life on your own.
Reason why I found this forum because I pbly will move to Canada, with a fake ID then live there. I was reading the immigration site and laughing what the fuck man? Just too much legal shit for me, the education system can’t be compared etc. You know how much time did it take for me to do the paper work what I needed for Sweden?
About 1 day, and my employee arranged everything+opened a bank account for me too. Now I can legally work here for 15 years but atm I looking for new job and getting a hard time because in my profession I have to speak their language too.
And why would Europeans want to move anywhere else?
OK, there’s always New Zealand.
Right-wing Canadians threaten to move to the United States. Left-wing Canadians threaten to move to Europe or New Zealand.
Canadian accountants move to Bermuda
Canadian oilmen move to Texas
Canadian teachers move to East LA
Canadian billionaires move to Florida prisons… (Conrad did, so can you!)
*Note Canadian teachers do not move to east LA, they move to Korea, Japan, or Hong Kong.
Europeans, especially from the north threaten to move to tropical/warm countries, usually Latin American, saying that life is easier there and that people have less worries. (completely denying the fact that this easy life is based on exploitation of the majority of the population of Latin American countries)
Aw, man. This blog is always so offensive to white people. I’m sick of it. That’s it, I’m moving to Canada!
There’s no Internet in Canada…
Right?
there is deffinately internet in canada .. lol..
mais c’est en francais la internet a Canada, at least in quebec…
*Mais l’Internet est en Français au Canada*
Uh… please tell me no one actually thinks the Internet is different depending on where you go…
its only different if your in an authoritarian country- ever see a cuban or north korean website?
Isn’t it illegal not to say everything in both english and french?
Yes, there is definitely internet in Canada … and dictionaries and spell checkers too!
D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y.
Candada…
Oh… never mind… It must be true about the US educational system… is there an educational system?
… but the internet in Canada does not have spell check.
Along with the Internet, Al Gore invented Canada - or so I read on the Internet.
LOL
Stuff that Canadians Like:
????
I’m still not entirely convinced that Canada is not some mythical Shangri-La and that the North Pole is only an few hours hike past the Boundary Waters. Existence of actual Canadian people is debatable. I believe that the term “Canadian” is an honorary title bestowed upon only the finest of the endless stream of sketch comedians that come to NYC and Hollywood from the Chicago comedy scene.
Yes Nathan you truly have lost it. Whilst I admire your poetic rambling, it has only served to cloud your mind further from the painful truths of reality. Now, I didnt say that this was a bad thing did I.
As an educated and professional Englishman, I love Canada for many reasons, and if the visa office let me have my way, I’ll be there within 18 months. Canadians may be chilly for several months of the year, but they are not mythical, I’ve been there when its hot too!
Anyhow, you clearly have a flare, keep up the poetry, I like it, and sometimes its good to see what is otherwise clear through a self generated haze.
My best to you!
B
Maybe there needs to be a new blog called “Stuff Canadians Like…eh”
I got to be one of the first posters!
I’m sorry I didn’t read the post, though. That’s not as important. I just want the world to know I was one of the first posters!
I just discovered this site and as a white person, I have to say that it is incredibly offensive.
I am moving to Canada to be a writer.
Are you kidding? I imagine your books will be quite “literal”, if not…. (And why is it necessary to move to Canada to be a writer?)
You write about it, I’ll photograph it, together we’ll make a best selling book!
“There’s no Internet in Canada…”
That’s right, none…
I did move to Canada.
Awesome! We moved to Europe.
I’m a New Zealander, and I moved to Europe a few years ago, am moving to Canada this month and ultimately would like to live in San Diego… so I guess this white guy is doing it in reverse.
I threatened to move to Canada - and finally did 2 months after G.W.B. entered the whitehouse in 2001 - no way I was sticking around for the mess that I knew was yet to come. Finally got my Canadian citizenship last year. Farewell and sayonara USA - I haven’t missed it for one minute.
And we haven’t missed you.
Hooray mutual benefits!
I say this all the time when talking about america if Hilary wins
finally a piece of writing in english that actually views “white ppl” as another race as opposed to the control group/norm/status quo!
thank you for reminding the white people that they are just as “ethnic” in the eyes of other cultures and have countless laughable acts of insecurity that all human beings come to face.
i applaud you, and you know you have nailed something good when you have 3 million hits in 2 months.
keep up the good work.
The site is interesting, but there is no such thing as “white people.” Germans, English, Dutch, French, Ukranian, Norwegian, Danish, Serbian, Italian, Spain, Greece…and on and on… all these countries have different cultures. When they come to American or Canada, they assimilate somewhat, but if a white person goes to another white person’s house from another background, they may find the family culture surprising. Or, when roommates meet in res in college, etc etc. Compare the global worldview, or even simply diet, of a 3rd generation Ukrainian Canadian to a 3rd, 4th, or 5th generation Canadian whose ancestry comes from England, for example. Are we similar, sure…. but Korean-Americans probably don’t like to be called Chinese, and vice versa. ….just something to think about…or then again, maybe I’m just a crazy gui lo cracker…
That’s why they’re called “asians”
but Korean-Americans probably don’t like to be called Chinese, and vice versa.
This post is very weak, but also very revealing; the only way the author feels one can be ‘not white’ is to be conservative. Because as we all know, black folks for instance, are uniformly staunch Republicans, right? Clearly that’s just ideology. The fact is that only a tiny sliver of upper-class whites are actually ‘liberal’; in the United States, the most basic rule of political affiiliation, as just about anywhere in the world is, the poorer one is and the more ‘of color’ one is, the more likely one is to be a Democrat.
Ummm… The majority of the aristocratic class in America votes Democratic. The majority of the UPPER MIDDLE CLASS votes Republican.
Look at basic Marxist theory, which states that when the Bourgeois, capitalist, small business owning class, (aka the UPPER MIDDLE CLASS, aka Republicans), gains power, (as has been the case for the majority of the last 2.5 centuries in America), the monied aristocracy will attempt to use the government to garner the support of the lower and working classes to overthrow the bourgeois capitalist regime. (He also said the working class would overthrow the repressive bourgeois, and most people’s knowledge of his theory is limited to that). This is supported by the fact that the Democrats, headed by aristocrats like the Kennedy’s, push welfare and social programs that will benefit the poor, (which will draw the poor’s vote despite the fact that they are not truly being represented). The TRUE upper class does not have to worry much about paying for these programs for a variety of reasons. First, since these aristocrats have far more money than they earn in a year, the income tax does not substantially draw from their monetary reserves. Second, above a certain level, (which I would define as the highest point of yearly income for the upper middle class, a few million dollars), taxation percentage drops off, so that the top wage earners AND the poor are taxed at a lower percentage than the upper middle class, (who otherwise might have the money and education to threaten the growing power of the aristocracy in America). Thus, the upper class succeeds in taking power from the upper middle class, and at the same time increases their support from the uneducated masses receiving the money of the disempowered Bourgeois.
Note that Democrats never push a Death Tax agenda, (which would rob the aristocracy of their traditional power), instead choosing to target those that are currently earning money through an income tax. Thus, the aristocracy get to sit on their money and hand it down to children who dont deserve it, while entrepreneurs who start successful small businesses are taxed at 35-40%.
Please forgive any grammatical or stylistic errors, as I am quite incensed and only am taking 10 mins to write this. Just understand that it is incredibly ignorant to fully subscribe to very basic generalizations without a deeper understanding of the phenomena themselves.
Thanks at least for your ears, though you may disagree.
Ummmmmm. . .what?
lol read a book.
Definitely an interesting viewpoint, though I’m not sure I do believe there is still an aristocracy in the sense of vested interests versus struggling new capitalists. Is there a difference between the Kennedy Dynasty and the Bush dynasty? Aren’t they all just rich families with HUGE influence (one of which is turning America into a fascist state without accountability, I might add)? Also, if there is an aristocracy, don’t they have to make money at some point? i.e., invest it, create businesses of some sort, etc. Eventually, after a few generations, the kids will always squander it away somehow….The death tax point is thought provoking though…
I would just like to say your comment was beautifully written and it is very obvious you are a person of intelligence. I completly agree with your comment. I don’t like that what you said is very true, but it is the truth.
It is mightily amusing that people actually reply to posts on this blog like they’re serious. OMG.
Yeah, but I bet black liberals don’t sit around talking about moving to Canada either.
Oh fuck, what do I know? It’s not like I know any black people, you know, personally.
Black liberals threaten to move to Africa
And then they realize that no one in Africa has yet managed to cobble together a “civilized” nation that can stand the test of time, and that if they moved there, other “black liberals” would probably machete their heads off.
Hilarious. I laughed hard at the last line about Europeans. This is a very, very funny, sharply written blog assessing white, sometimes Liberal, middle to upper class, urban culture. It reminds me of California, specifically the People Republic of Berkeley, where they banned Styrofoam and had the #1 Prius dealership in the whole state.
If Canada is impossible, northern California might do!
Nobody will threaten to move to Canada now that exchange rates aren’t in our favor. That was a perk. Moving to practically the same country for a cheaper cost of living and a more sophisticated culture. It was like a gentrification of the soul until now.
“Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.””
Every gook I ever met had relatives in Canada
You got it totally wrong! Every african these days wants to move to Canada! You want proof? Just see how many bootleggers are promising black African’s jobs in Canada, as opposed to those promising them jobs in Europe or US.
But I thought every European wants to move to Africa?
I believe trying to move to Margaritaville is also popular.
#76 Jimmy Buffet
haha love it!
I like the weather in Canada.
I live just outside Margaritaville. Nice place.
I have multiple friends who have not only threatened to move to Canada, but have put together portfolios on immigration law, tax rates, best places to live, etc. Needless to say, many years later, in New Jersey they remain.
What I find EXTRA hilarious is that, now, conservative White People are hopping on the Canada bandwagon. I can’t count the number of times, in the past 3 months, I have heard or seen conservative White People claim that, if Clinton or Obama win the presidency, they will move to Canada. These same people, who, just a week prior, railed against Canadian-style Socialism, will just sputter and pout when it is revealed to them that:
1. They are hypocrites.
2. They told the liberals who wanted to leave in 2000 that they were cowards or unAmerican.
3. There are no countries for them, because no countries that harbor their brand of politics are stable or prosperous enough for their White People livers.
Good times.
No, there are no countries for people that love truly classical liberal government (libertarian, non socialist) because of an insidious socialist and ultra-PC force that loves to get into the education system of every country and corrupt its young with propaganda and misinformation instead of true liberal education. Oh, and intolerant religious Republicans ruin it, too. So, basically, its two sides waging war on just, liberal government.
Here’s to Thomas Jefferson.
Wow, I just posted on a blog… twice…
Form your own! Get together, pool resources, buy an island, and make a nation. Fun!
I often have comments to submit, and then forget them because of the ridiculous comments I catch wind of on the way down to the submission box. It is preposterous that people could take offense to these posts, read politics into them, or draw conclusions as to what Freudian stage (lol psychology is so white) the author is arrested in. We laugh endlessly at that perfect man John Stewart but can’t seem to find the humor here. Some of you should really try Yoga (or योग as I like to call it, my culturaly friend taught me that) it would improve your mood dramatically.
Holy crap, are you stalking me?
I took the Canadian government’s test to see if I was good enough to be allowed to immigrate to Canada.
I flunked:
http://www.isteve.com/Canada_Doesnt_Want_Me.htm
quoting the post “it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.”
The Weather ain’t half bad up there! And the Beer and The Hockey are the BEST! And Don’t Forget Canada Gave Us The Band RUSH! Best Band EVER! AND Don Cherry! What More Could you Want?
BTW….If I read One more Crappy Post by some Vain Cali chick who likes to Mock White People….I’M MOVING TO CANADA, DAMMIT!
And I would know about Crappy Posts, I’ve written a Few!
Want proof?
mikeytherhino.wordpress.com
Don’t Forget….LOVE WHITEY!
I think that “tipping” is another area that you could write about. I just finished a blog entry on my site about “Tipping at Starbucks” which really bothers me.
this black girl is ashamed. i do far too many of the things on this site.
In response to #13: “It reminds me of California, specifically the People Republic of Berkeley, where they banned Styrofoam and had the #1 Prius dealership in the whole state.”
For Californians, rest of the USA acts as “their Canada” — In Northern California, specifically SF Bay Area, when faced with rising house prices, people threaten to move elsewhere, Austin, Denver, Boston, you name it. Needless to say, 10 years later, they are still driving on that pathetic 8820/280/101 traffic jam.
Europeans can always say that they’ll move to Sweden. It’s the Swedes who have nowhere to go.
We Swedes usually say we’ll move to Norway. (Because they’re richer and it’s easier to get a job and they’re not in the EU.)
We Swedes dream about moving to Canada actually. We feel that it’s like Sweden(free healthcare,metric system etc.) but with better weather. I have relatives there actually…
Rae– me too, but not ashamed. I can’t help it.
I once threatened to move to the Moon if Hillary Clinton were president. Does that make me a typical White Person or am I just some madman? Although, Canada would be nice, they have excellent gentlemen’s clubs.
When Jessica Simpson has the #1 film in the Ukraine, I’ll move to Canada.
YES YES YES YES YES YES
this is SO true