#83 Bad Memories of High School
March 6, 2008 by clander
The most time and cost efficient way of gaining a white person’s trust and friendship is to talk to them about their time in high school.
Virtually every white person you meet was a nerd in a high school-it it is how they were able to get into a good arts program and law school. As such, their memories of high school are painful, but not tragic since they were able to eventually find success in the real world. Exploiting this information is your one way to ticket into the heart of a white person.
Your first priority must be to steer the conversation to the topic of high school, which is not very difficult. If you are talking about music, mention the music you think they would have liked in high school and how you were taunted for liking those bands. If you cannot properly gauge the type of music a white person liked in high school, you should always say that you were really into The Cure. All white people know that liking The Cure in high school is an invitation to be tortured by the cool kids. This will bring about instant sympathy and respect.
It is also acceptable to discuss how you were in love with a cool kid who never loved you back. For added effect, you can mention how said cool kid is now doing very poorly and that you are excited for the upcoming reunion.
If these first two points were not enough to gain an adequate level of trust, you can close the deal by saying: “I was the only <insert ethnicity> kid in Improv/on the paper/on student council.” Wait for a sympathetic look and then you will know that you have forged an unbreakable and easily exploited bond.
For maximum effectiveness, this technique should be used in a social group setting where everyone can share their stories. By guiding the conversation, you will be seen as a natural and sympathetic leader. This can be easily exploited for professional and social gain.
Note: In the rare encounter that you meet a white person who was “cool” in high school, do not panic. There is a 100% chance that one of their other cool friends sold them out in a coup for control of their social circle. Failing that, you can exploit the inherent guilt they feel about their treatment of nerds.
The Cure…it’s the kiss of death.
Band geeks!!!
White people are such fucking losers.
why are you on this site if you’re obviously racist against white people? Dude, find something else to do with your time, like drinking an orange soda or something.
And you, loosen up
You, a bit to far
Very funny.
http://www.IGotUGGs.com
http://www.BehindtheApprovalMatrix.com
Don’t forget to use terms like ‘hellhole’ in describing high school. I’m too tired to think of other terms right now.
“Prison”
“Fascist Prison”
“Intellectual Wasteland”
“Purgatory”
Those are ones I’ve used, anyway.
parade of human carnage
“The years I wish I were on fast forward” … no wait, that’s all of childhood.
“Preppy Haven”
“WASP Hive”
“White Supremacy” (the non-racist kind)
Yeah, I’m going to a prep school
Thanks for bringing back my painful high school memories. Yup, I was a nerd. A certifiable one. Such a big nerd that I even proudly wore the “D.A.R.E.” pin during drug awareness week. Then I got to college and realized that “D.A.R.E.” actually stands for “Drugs are Really Expensive.”
Oh just the pin? I wore the shirt!!! lol
White people love to wear “D.A.R.E” shirts.
Early to mid 90s…everyone (including me) wore those “D.A.R.E.” shirts
….and then peer pressure came in 10 years later
I wasn’t cool enough to get drugs in high school and believe me, I tried. Everyone thought I was a narc, even without a dare shirt
People still think I’m a narc. I can’t even buy pot at my college reunions. That’s the only reason I’ve never developed a wicked addiction, gone to rehab with celebrities, and come out of it all with a charasmitic down to earth humanism and ability to talk openly with strangers about really personal topics. Dammit.
Pot isn’t chemically addictive, FYI.
Wasn’t jump roping also somehow involved with DARE marketing?
It’s funny, 90% of the kids I’ve seen where them do, or even supply, drugs.
Hmm, this seems a little of the mark? The posts are coming fast and furious, and perhaps are not quite as well thought out? Is high school universally (or even generally) liked by non-whites? I’m confused.
No! Most of them drop out.
nice
It’s not that, it’s that white people are the ones that get picked on for reasons x, y, and z
So, once again, I say you are not talking to white people persay, but to hipsters. Lots of white people LOVED high school. What about cheerleaders? Football player? All the people who actually grew up in New York City and went to Bronx Science or Stuyvesant or whatever, unlike stupid ass people from Kansas and shit who live in Williamsburg or Ft. Greene and act fucking annoying. Man, I hate those kids.
Have spent some time thinking about what’s so funny about this blog. My provisional answer is that it has something to do with identifying stuff that uniquely applies to white people. Thus, suggestion that this blog is about “hipsters” seems off the mark (See posts on dinner parties and on performance clothing), as does the latter suggestion that the blog is about “WASPs/yuppies/artsy fartsy” people (see posts on Music Piracy, Hating Corporations, Knowing What’s Best for Poor People). For example, life in trailer parks is ruled out b/c lots of minorities live in trailer parks (of course, lots of them don’t as well). On the other hand, performance clothing is in b/c it is disproportionately consumed by white people. The idea is to speculate about what activities, beliefs, or products are done/held/owned by white people in greater proportion than by groups.
The point of this website is to point out what hipsters are like. Which is why, in some post, the talk a bit about the “wrong” kind of white people.
Just because Science and Stuyvesant are good schools doesn’t mean that people loved their years there. In fact, at Science if you were a nerdy over-achiever in the honors society, you’d probably get called on it. High school is a universally awkward time for folks. For further evidence (albeit highly exaggerated), one need look no further than Superbad. Some people reach the pinnacle of their social acceptance in high school (glory days, if you will), but for most people, it would seem that high school was either painful for whatever reason, examples of which can be found in the text of this post.
yeah for Bronx Science!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (white kid)
That was pretty good. the “note” at the end reminds me of the premise of Mean Girls.
http://thingsmenwant.wordpress.com
Totally reminds me of what the nerdy kids from Mean Girls would be like. The “note” at the end is the story of the Plastics … good read….
http://thingsmenwant.wordpress.com
Yep, high school sucked…
This website is better…
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
It seems like every entry revolves around the goal of obtaining the trust of white people. Why? What will be accomplished by gaining their trust? Power? Love? Respect? I never knew that non-whites were such a needy bunch.
gosh!
This is a JOKE you guys. This website is meant to be funny/!Take it easy….
If you want to get a favor from a white person, you need a white friend for reason X, or if you want to get into a serious relationship with one. But really, it’s just satire.
I agree, this is something that gets brought up a lot for not being very interesting.
I was LUCKY to go to a high school that was nearly all White!
I was going to an inner city school of mostly African American and Philipino kids… Dad moved us out to a true all white all red-neck “hick-town” in the middle of my Sophmore year!!!
Major culture shock, as we moved from a “ritzy” part of town.
It took me a while to fit in… but I loved high school, although I nearly flunked out, as I was more interested in being the “class-clown”.
I hated being in an Ultra-White school, but eventually just rolled with it.
I have no sympathy for those that say how they hated High School… you can always find a friend or two who are as “f”‘d up as yourself!!!
Not if you go to an all white school that are full of nothing but preps and people who bitch about how small and undiverse (I know its not a real word) the school is.
re #8
All the people who actually grew up in New York City and went to Bronx Science or Stuyvesant or whatever……unlike stupid ass people from Kansas and shit ”
SHUT UP hook-nosed SEMITE KIKE!
Unfortunately for Whites most of your fellow NY Jews end up moving to White areas.
“Jews end up moving to white areas.” This is interesting since I would say 99% of Jews are white. And “hooked nose” is more characteristically Italian, while “big nose” is the stereotypical insult for Jews.
Here’s an idea, read a book and stop turning blogs that are just for fun into opportunities to expliot your ignorant hate.
We need a post on tattoos.
I found that these blogs generally described the great blob of the white population portrayed in the media.. WASPs, yuppies or the artsy fartsies that over-run areas like SoHo as the picture of personal success. (I acknowledge that there are white peoplpe that fall through the cracks of these stereotypes and are unique in their own right)
This one still applies to the popular media group but the WASPs. It’s my understanding that people that were happy during highschool generally don’t have the need or ambition to thrive after that. Except if you come from an affluent family or accomplished parents that kids have expectations to live up to will they strive to make something of their lives. But given that they had the resources to make themselves attractive with labels and cosmetics/ buy friends/ attract attention with material goods, they will find they had a pretty good time in high school.
There’s still a chance they’ll end up bratty losers that we see on reality shows on E!, in that case the blog will still apply.
Westchester, Long Island, Greenwich…..these were all places of class before the “Bronx Science” and “Stuyvesant” Yid semites moved there and diminished the whole attractiveness of these places.
Come on.
Now these same Ashkenazi khazars are doing the same thing to other fine White areas.
uggghhhhhh!!!!!!!
It sucks.
If you spend your time reading this blogs, then you probably were a nerd in high school.
Holy shit, either We have the same name or I’m a dumbass for not realizing I posted this earlier.
Hah, I actually enjoyed high school, but yeah that conversation would work. I knew some popular girls who liked the Cure though, so maybe it would be better to say, “And remember when everyone in AP Lit was talking about how important Nirvana was, and you brought up the Pixies, and everyone just stared at you?” Another good thing would be to say, “And everyone thought I was a druggie, but I was just tired because I had to work the late shift, and they didn’t even have jobs…”
What’s wrong with Kansas? What’s wrong with Jews?
Yeah, you forgot the band geek–or fag–part of the equation. That should be mentioned in this post.
I was a ‘nerd’ during high school, but I really liked it. I think I went to the whitest state high school in the universe: we had about 3 people of asian descent, and everyone else was a WASP. I’m talking about real WASPs, not your rich American varieties, as I live in Scotland, which is like the home of dour religion and subtle racism.
Hmmm…this one seems a little too forced…up until now, though, mostly good posts!
I was a long-haired nerd who was in orchestra and band, but this never helped me attain higher social status amongst white people.
The Cure are from Crawley, a new town younger than they are, and a poor choice of origin for any musical act, as it’s right underneath Gatwick Airport and hence the noisiest place in England. When I stayed there on a student work visa, it was the HQ of Virgin. The airline, not the record division. (Like I said, poor choice of origin.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVEbIHXFWq4
#20
spoken like someone who has never lived around jews.
dude, you totally haven’t done how white people like to stop and look at themselves once in a while
#22 re Wasps
Yeah, it’s funny how the stereotype is somehow “Northeast”, but in reality Dallas, TX is hands-down the most WASP city in America. (That is before the US became non-white like it is today.)
Highland Park HS’s mascot is the Scot!
I’ve got the next one ready for you. I know you want it.
“Doing Dave Chappelle bits.”
You can use it, and then delete this comment. I won’t tell anyone.
Reading this blog in Spain and must say that there are quiete a few White people over here as well.
Doesn’t this post apply to every member of the Writer’s Guild of America-West? It seems that every movie out of Hollywood, even adult– excuse me, grownup– fare, has some undercurrent of “Revenge of the Nerds” or “Carrie”.
However, it probably doesn’t apply to WGA-East members, as they’re mostly from NYC, and there’s no jock culture for the sensitive kids to feel alienated from.
we need posts on:
- health clubs and yoga vacation
- latte macchiato
- creating a flickr-account
- …
I’m just wondering when this entire blog will become a coffee table books. White people love stuff like that.
#31 “It seems that every movie out of Hollywood, even adult– excuse me, grownup– fare, has some undercurrent of “Revenge of the Nerds” ”
Of course, because Hollywood is anti-White to the core, and the majority of the screenwriters are either jews or sodomites.
Why do think “Brokeback” and “Holocaust” films win Oscars?
Hollywood attracts the hateful high school losers who don’t, or cannot (gays), reproduce. Just like Bill Maher, who isn’t “Irish” or White, but just another sniveling jew.
These are getting less and less funny the more I read them.
I first found this website when it was on 79. The first few I read were great. Then a day later I went back and read the first posts, which weren’t nearly as good. I figured after awhile, the traffic increased and the author started putting more effort into it.
But the past four have been pretty unimpressive. As before, I think the increase in traffic has altered the approach taken by the author, only this time he’s trying too hard. The result: really boring posts.
I’ve also gotta agree with the person above who questioned the running theme of “this is how you can use this information to your advantage.” Really, what’s the point of that? It’s stupid, not clever, and it’s usually pretty forced. The same effect could be had with a more natural approach that left out the “here’s what you do if you’re not white” part.
“Note: In the rare encounter that you meet a white person who was “cool” in high school, do not panic. There is a 100% chance that one of their other cool friends sold them out in a coup for control of their social circle. Failing that, you can exploit the inherent guilt they feel about their treatment of nerds.”
Gold, sir! Pure gold!
I went to a working class all-male Catholic high school in the midwest… as a result of our uniformity and lack of ladies to impress or parade machismo for, I sooooooo missed out on having high school tragedy.
Damn.
The Obvious: It takes the sperm of a White male, and ONLY a White male, to produce white children.
Why is it that all the non-whites lust after that they could never, ever under any circumstances reproduce themselves? It’s a joke.
The main point is: stay White
Your children will thank you for it. Got that ladies?
I guess fag-bashing is no longer a high-school pastime?
We get it, Christian. The big bad liberals in Bloomington hurt your feelings. And now you’re getting back at them.
Perhaps your disappointment in not having done anything meaningful in your life is assuaged by making fun of others’ whose motives and intentions you pretend to so well understand.
It’s not too late to do something positive and affirming with that agile mind of yours. Everyone loves to laugh with the South Park smartass who makes fun of everything and stands for nothing. Perhaps when your 15 minutes are up, you’ll find something you really want to fight for- maybe even something worthy of being made fun of about.
shut up Hoosier loser.
#37 Damn straight!
I miss the 80’s. It’s funny how back then, the bands were (to simplify) either American rock/metal (Van Halen), or British androgynous/gay (Pet Shop).
There were divisions.
But damnation!!!! Compared to today’s overall Chimp-out I’d take any band that is White where there are actual musicians that play instruments. I miss the Euro-fag, UK bands. I love hearing them today, including the Cure.
Playing instruments is White. Chimping-out to a hip-hop DJ is degeneration, for lack of any better term.
I feel sorry for White girls today.
Err, it’s “gauge,” not “gage.”
And when talking to people about high school memories it’s always helpful to bring up My So-Called Life and how you related to it. Though perhaps that’s a generational thing.
i have a love hate relationship with this blog
more or less….you suck and are more or less retarded. I’m sorry that i was cool in high school. I’m sorry that my parents were better than your parents, and probably a lot cooler than your parents too. My parents had friends. Instead of whining about their lack of coolness in highschool, they were busy not giving a shit about what you think.
Enjoy….and suck a dick….
love
Drewsie
A lot of attention on this intertubes blog seems dedicated towards gaining the trust or esteem of white people. It appears to beg the question, would you want to?
Cultural differences: in my high school, somewhere in an east-european country, it was cool to be a Cure fan.