#95 Rugby

If you’ve been in a white person’s apartment or home you might have noticed a ball that looks like a cross between an egg and a football. It is a Rugby ball and it is an important sport for white people.

They love Rugby for a number of reasons, the first of which is the fact that it is not very popular in North America. In fact, it is even less popular than soccer which gives a white person that all important edge in the contest to see who likes the most obscure sport. Though this is important, it is not the real reason why white people love the sport so much.

Rugby’s greatest appeal lies in its uniforms.

Unlike other sports where jerseys are made out of nylon or mesh, Rugby jerseys are like thick sweatshirts with collars! In fact there is no other jersey on earth that can move so seamlessly from the playing field to the farmers market

Many white people first acquire a love of rugby during their high school and college years by playing either for a school team or in the case of highly advanced white people-part of an intramural league. In fact, many white people will continue to play the sport into their early 30s at local parks on Saturday morning. If you are looking to expand your group of white friends, you would be wise to get yourself invited to one of these games. However, you should be prepared to have your crotch grabbed.

Though playing the sport is the most common way for white people to become interested in Rugby, a great number of them pick up a taste for the game while studying abroad in Australia or New Zealand. Like soccer, they are given the chance to purchase a scarf of their adopted team, but more importantly they can acquire a Rugby jersey. Unlike a soccer scarf, they can wear this garment all year long which provides for a more reliable trinket that can be used to initiate conversations about their time down under. For extra credit, some white people will declare that they are into Australian Rules Football and not Rugby. If you wish to friend this person, it’s best to ask them about the differences in rules because they will be thrilled to tell you.

Aside from playing the game with white people, there is one other surefire way to use rugby for your own personal gain. If you have determined that the white person you are talking to prefers rugby over soccer, it is strongly advised that you say: “you know, American Football players might be bigger, but rugby players are so much tougher.” Their response will be to tell you about how Football players are weak because they wear pads. This will be followed by a knowing nod or wink in your direction and an invitation to join them for a game on the weekend.