#97 Scarves
April 30, 2008 by clander
White People’s body temperatures do not operate on logical or consistent levels, and because of this white people are often forced to wear clothing combinations that might seem strange or illogical. One popular example is the performance vest which solves the age old problem of cold chest hot arms. Another common combination is wearing shorts with a sweatshirt which helps bring about comfort when your upper body is chilly but your lower half is sweltering. But without a doubt, the one piece of clothing that helps to regulate white body temperature in all situations is the scarf.
During winter months, it’s no surprise to find white people all bundled up with scarves around their neck - it just makes sense. But even as the weather warms up and the other layers start to fall off, the scarf remains.
It is not uncommon to see a white person in jeans, a sweater and a scarf. In fact, it’s not a rare occurance to see a white person in a t-shirt, jeans, and a scarf. Thats right. A thin cotton t-shirt paired with a scarf to enable maximum temperature control in bars and places with air conditioning
But not all white people wear the scarves for temperature reasons. A well made scarf can be an essential part of a white ensemble, allowing for all-important differentiation from other white people wearing the exact same clothes as them. Thus allowing them to be picked out of the crowd for dating or mocking purposes
“I like the guy in the white American Apparel shirt with the glasses.”
“Which one? there are eight.”
“The guy with the keffiyeh.”
“Oh yeah, you’re right. He does look smarter and more political than the other guys. He’s clearly more sensitive to wind, so he’s probably more sensitive in general. You should totally date him.”
Along with making up a key part of the white wardrobe, scarves also function as a vital pillar of the white gift economy. Due to their relative ease of creation, many white people (especially women) like to knit scarves for friends and lovers. For this reason alone, if you find yourself needing a new scarf but not a long term relationship, dating a white woman might be the easiest and most cost effective solution.
Hilarious…I totally wear scarves, and I love wearing a hoodie with shorts!
McCain hates scarves, hoodies and shorts.
please die.
shut up. john mccain is insane, and that’s all there is to it.
Last I checked, he didn’t spam internet blogs.
Agreed.
I’ve scored many a scarves with this “dating” technique.
This is a great blog entry! I chuckled through nearly the entire post. You have such a great writing style. Keep it up!
http://englishfail.wordpress.com
My gay BFFs and I LOVE scarves. Not so much John McCain.
whywelovethegays.com
I married my wife because she knitted me a scarf.
People who wear scarves in Southern California are hiding something
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
You’d be surprised. It gets pretty freezing in the winter down here in SoCal.
75 degrees is not freezing.
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75 is hot as hell…
75 is comfortable, but 70 degrees and I’m definitely breaking out the scarf!
I would have held out for the mittens dude
I, also, married your wife once, but it was for a different reason.
White folks are just plum funny. Scarfs I’m LMAO…
It’s not “plum” as in fruit. It’s “plumb” which means “absolutely” or “precisely”.
You meant to write “White folks are just plumb funny”.
It’s 18th century slang but let’s keep it alive, shall we?
White people talk too much.
Oh that’s funny because black people can afford none of those things lololololololol
Uh, there are races other than black and white, meathead.
THANKS FOR CORRECTING THAT SMARTASS.
That’s peachy.
but, the wkwp still think it’s plum. and when they
say plum(b) “whatever”… they are thinking the fruit.
don’t get that shit twisted. why have i heard…
“…plumb apple pie!”?
It’s important that it’s corrected. I recently read a paper where someone actually wrote “vise versus” instead of vice versa.
It’s just really pathetic when someone tries to be cute (like the “white people are plum funny guy” or smart like the “vise versus” kid and they don’t even know how to write or have enough of a grasp of the language they’re trying to be witty in.
He hates whiners too.
“How Insane is John McCain?”
Oh! HAHAHA! I get it . You rhymed. You…your good.
Don’t you mean YOU’RE good? MY Creator is infallible, so clearly YOU’RE an imposter!
White people love the movie “Princess Bride”
its kind of like the lord of the rings movie before lord of the rings movie, and instead of a ring its a princess, and instead of hobits, its giants, and instead of ugly main characters, the main characters are beautiful, and instead of it being in 3 parts, its just one movie, and it has billy crystal and robin wright penn, and the guy from “Robbin Hood Men in Tights”….so I guess its not like lord of the rings…..even though the lord of the rings book came out way before…..hmm bad analogy
Well, yeah, all that and the fact that the Lord of the Rings is about twelve hours too long and the Princess Bride is just right.
yeah i think thats why princess bride is so good, the movie isnt to long or to short, its just right, plus the lines in the movie are easy to remember…Inconceivable!
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You killed my thread. Prepare to die.
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yay, i shall only die by inigo montoya
your whack
You’re wack
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Don’t you mean impostor?
He is 50,0000 year old. I am pretty sure he thinks “spamming internet blogs” is something immoral teens do with canned meat.
Things White People Like #98: Hating John McCain
Genius. Also I’m white.
you must be the wrong kind of white, then
I must be also, because I don’t understand the wearing of socks with sandals. My neighbor does this year around, and he’s not even an American white guy. He’s from Belgium.
My ABC friends and I agree that Chinese people cornered the market on socks with sandals waaaay before Tevas were invented.
whites like starting their sentences with also.
ha. my white girlfriend knitted me a scarf as a gift for our first christmas together.
ha. actually, I’m totally kidding. I’m a pure, unadulterated homosexual who openly receiving.
JESUS WAS A BLACK MAN LYNCHED ITALIAN STYLE
Jesus was Jewish, you idiot.
Jesus rejected corrupt Judaism. Pharisees, Zionists, Jewish supremacists, money-changers…..nothing ever changes with the jews. they don’t evolve.
Yahushua, a Hebrew/Yahudim, rejected corruption in general, and focusing on what wasn’t important, (for example, making everything about race/ethnicity/cultural differences, instead of what is common to us all as humans) slander and gossip, judgment of others, and idol worship (which includes elevating others or self to a level of worship, worshipping according to the traditions of those who worship false idols, and speaking the name of a false deity).
Wow, after reading this I yawned so hard I broke my fucking jaw. Christ come and christ go but ceasar is forever.
Saviors may come and go, but CORRECT SPELLING is forever!
Stuff White People Like #98-
Correct Spelling and Grammar get over yourself it is the internet!
Fo’sho dave raskob. Most of the time I make a posting it’s first thing in the morning so cut me some slack on the grammatic errors. In addition I don’t have endless amounts of time to dick around on a computer as I’m not a coropate tool, code monkey or class defecting college bitch. I’m one of the hand full of genuine working class people on this site. You know one of those unwashed masses that you say you’re helping even though we never asked for it and don’t want it! Someday I’d like to see these white self righteous grammer nazi’s take a stroll around Compton or Boil Heights correcting there fellow oppressed humans with there helpful insights. It’d make Jones Town look like kindergarten.
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It’s Boyle Heights, not Boil Heights.
If you should see my face right now. Bright red. Sooo embarassed. Somehow I’m going to find a way to work through this…somehow.
yep, the internet is like Wal-Mart… they’ll let ANYONE in, even people who can’t spell or find a bar of soap
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not according to noam chomsky!
uh oh.
right so when your in a situation when you need a lawyer to get you out of a jam, call a buddhist…you will be sure to rot in jail…
You may have missed the point. The whole idea is NOT to do something that will “get you in a jam.” Then “you will be sure” NOT to rot except when the atoms and molecules that make up your physical body are recycled as you decompose after death.
Question everything huh? How about your own assumptions about why and how people end up in jail. If only those political prisoners had consulted you first about “not doing something that will “get you in a jam”. I think a few Buddists have been thrown in locked-down to, if Tibet is any indication. Your an idiot, Question Everything.
You are an anti-semitic fuckwad. Go burn a cross you redneck fucktard.
Well said, casey… well said.
I’m pretty that the majority of rednecks believe in god… hence the bible belt and religious midwest.
Calling the poor/lower classes derogatory names is totally ok as long as those people are white poor/low class people–that is such a white thing. A majority of black people are Christians but you would never say “a majority of N—— believe in god… hence Compton and Oakland. You are sooooo white.
Heh…you said “fucktard”.
Hello! I’m you basic anti-White liberal Jewfucktard.
My family has a long history of inbreeding going back to our filthy Polish shtetl!!! Just look at the facial quirks and ticks that we ashkenazi have from screwing our close cousins for years.
In NY and NJ (and anywhere there are jews) it is not illegal to marry a first cousin.
PS Did I say that I hate Whites?
Only if the wood comes from a free-range , indigenous redneck farm!
But did Jesus wear a scarf?
Wow…how did we get from scarves to jesus and judaism. People are wack.
Scare For Jesus
- I’m Scarfing for Jesus right now.
You mean whack.
Jesus may have built my hot rod, but he most definitely didn’t wear a scarf. He didn’t even wear underwear.
Yeah, it’s called the Shroud of Turin.
Yup.
And this November, while a quarter-billion Moose-limbs are warming up the ovens for another run at a Judenfreiwelt, millions of American Jews will march into poling booths and vote for a schwartzer named Hussein.
Go figure.
When McCain sucks up to jews, as he does daily, he’ll choose Lieberman for VP. All good little racist jews will put their tribe first and foremost when they pull the lever in secret.
So Jesus couldn’t be Jewish and black??????
Jesus was Lenny Kravitz. His mom was black & is dad was Jewish…. no word on what they are these days but their son makes average music at best. Maybe when he gets crucified he’ll do better!