#98 The Ivy League
May 6, 2008 by clander
The Ivy League is expensive, exclusive, located in the North East, and features beautiful old buildings. All of these things are beloved by white people so logically it would seem that they all love the Ivy League. But this is not true!
White people have a tortured relationship with the Ivy Leagues, and if you broach the subject in the wrong way you can offend and even anger a white person.
But before getting into the more nuanced aspects of the subject, it’s important to know that all white people believe they have the intelligence and work ethic required to attend an Ivy League school. The only reason they did not actually go to one is that they chose not to participate in the “dog and pony show” required to gain acceptance. White people also like to believe that they were not born into a privileged (enough) family to get legacy admission. This should always be at the back of your mind as you talk to a white person about the Ivy League.
Once you have determined that a white person did not attend an Ivy League School, you should try to give them the opportunity to explain why their school was actually a superior educational experience. Some easy ways to do this are to mention grade inflation, professors who value research over teaching, or high tuition costs. Any one of these will set a white person off on a multi-minute rant.
When they have finally run out of arguments about why they chose the right school, you should say “I knew a whole bunch of people who went to Harvard and none of them work as hard or are as smart as you.” This is a very effective technique for gaining acceptance since white people need constant reassurance that they are smart and that they made the right choice with their life.
If you actually went to an Ivy League school, you will been seen as a threat so prepare for a lot of questions from white people. They will constantly ask questions about how much work you had, the type of students at the school, the professors, your dorm room, your reading lists, and they will try so hard to figure out your SAT score. They desperately need a source of comparison so that they need to figure out if you are actually smarter than them. In fact, the only way to stop this line of questioning is to imply that you only got in because of your minority status. Once you say that, white people will stop feeling threatened since they can now believe they too would have been accepted to an Ivy League school if they were a minority. It also gives them a personal story about the effectiveness of Affirmative Action.
White people also like to call their school “The Harvard of the <insert region or conference>”. Do not challenge this, it will ruin their confidence.
LMAO.
Seriously funny.
LOL!!!
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
I, The Almighty Lord, hate the rich.
http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/
Oh the wonderful life of the Ivy League.
http://englishfail.wordpress.com
Oh the wonderful life of the Ivy League.
Most blacks attending Ivy League schools are through affirmative action.
You, sir, are an idiot.
Do you really intend to suggest that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama or any other number of blacks who attend and attended Harvard and the other Ivy League schools are/were not academically qualified to be there?
Or are you just disgruntled because you weren’t good enough to gain an admissions interview?
Speak up, boy!
Actually, in many cases the AA edge squeezes out the intended “urban” (in non PR-speak: poor) beneficiary in favor of the detached Af-Am super-class Cosby’s always ranting about; at least, that’s how it was when I graduated from Harvard last year: way too many “gangstas” driving M-classes around. Fortunately, these kids were also the subject of frequent chastising by black-alums railing on their “living the stereotype.” Though I have no idea what Barack’s dress habits were back in the day, to quote the venerable Tracy Morgan during a previous SNL “I’m way more BLACK than him” and I’m just a white guy who happened to grow up in the hood (albeit Canadian).
The systemic discrimination from a lifetime of poorer-quality schools, extra-curricular activities, and generally negative social reinforcement is what really needs to be addressed. Harvard’s gone a long way making it essentially free for anyone with a family income under ~$160(?)k but only real progress on social policies can make the next step happen. That means no longer providing power and import to “the Reverends”, or supporting policies that simply appease white-guilt (perhaps, AA) but do not address the real target audience or underlying inequality.
dude. word! canada has no hoods. just ice rinks and few polar bears.
Believe me, there are several ‘hoods in Canada. Sure there is no media coverage of it in the U.S. (clearly you’ve bought into the stereotype of rinks and polar bears) but take a stroll through the East Side of Vancouver or Toronto’s Jane and Finch area. These places, thanks to lots of American guns and gangs, are starting to rival U.S. ‘hoods.
As to the actual OP, brilliant as always. This “Harvard of the North” B.S. from places like McGill has always turned my stomach. There is virtually no comparison (student quality, financing, resources, history, etc.) between Ivy Schools and any of these “Harvards of the __________”. A few years ago SUNY Binghampton and other had the stones to call themselves “public Ivys” - talk about conflict of interest/oxymoronic/pathetic/brandstealing! The very mission of these institutions is in direct conflict with what Ivys do…
You know, I read the whole “Harvard of the ______” line in the article. Being a Binghamton Alum, I thought to myself “Man, reminds me of the self-aggrandizing PR Bing used to do.” I read the comments thread and sure enough, it’s one of the first institutions mentioned in reference to it. Wish I could say I was surprised.
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Was that a BS degree?
Interesting article I found here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=476244&in_page_id=1965&in_page_id=1965&expand=true#StartComments
Why blue-eyed boys (and girls) are so brilliant
The colour of your eyes could determine your achievements in life, say scientists.
They claim those with blue eyes are more likely to sparkle academically than those with brown.
I’m just guessing, but I bet you have blue eyes.
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Right! Blonde jokes are totally unfounded. Blondes have far higher IQ’s than black and mestizo women, most of whom are grossly obese in America.
I don’t think anyone would suggest Leonardo Da Vinci was dumb. He had blonde hair and blue eyes.
The Daily Mail story did not deal with gender or hair color and intelligence. I think if you had a blonde with brown eyes and a brunette with blue eyes (male or female) the blue eyes would excel further academically. Stephen Fry’s mother is of Austrian-Jewish heritage. If there is a scientific observation that shows a link between hair and intelligence I’d love to see it.
here’s a concept for everyone. White kids can get in because of ‘legacy’. Why not let blacks kids in because of the ‘legacy’ of what Joe so aptly describes. I like the semantic simplicity of that.
Way to feed the trolls..
Here’s the math:
1/2 of Ivies are already non-White, due to affirm action, “Diversity” programs, leftist anti-White hatreds in the admisssions process, and Asian high IQs.
Out of the other 50% of “Whites”, half of them (or maybe 60%) are jews, not Whites.
So Whites are about 25% of the Ivy League schools they founded.
Cite the source of your statistics, my racist friend.
No need for statistics, they can prove anything, just walk around on ANY Ivy League campus.
This site should be renamed “Stuff White Liberal Elitists Like”.
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I think that is kind of the idea, what with the constant references in comments to these cliches applying “to the right type of white people and not all white people. This site is not redneck humor, it targets the same people who read it who in turn willingly mock themselves and their friends. It is not trying to represent “the white race” as a whole, it’d be damn hard to stereotype 80% of the US plus white Canadians all at once and still be funny. Very few people want to read someone say white people like “car culture” and “consumerism”. That may be social and cultural commentary, but it is not comedy. The inanity and often frivolousness of the interests of the “white people” depicted by this site are funny to many of its “liberal white elitist” targets in a self-mocking way that makes them feel “in” on the joke. It is not real written for “non-white” people as a guide to interacting with “white people”, that is part of the joke.
Oh, Yeah that’s right! I forgot, freedom of speech means that even “the wrong kind of white people” have their say.
Since when did they give you power to remove the status of “white” from Jews my Neo-Nazi friend?
Jews are semites, like Arabs, therefore they aren’t White or European.
Furthermore, it is the jews themselves that tell us they are different, that they are a minority group. You cannot be a minority and White simultaneously.
Maria, are you an anti-White bigot? You sound like one.
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Who cares if Michele or Barack went to ivy league schools. They are both annoying, and that is what matters. No world leader will take them seriously. Weak.
thank you, hillary.
BWAHAHAHA!
Judging by the recent output of Ivy League schools I’d be impressed if many of the students in those schools could pass the admission tests & interviews… OTOH, they’ve gotta be getting in there somehow!
I’m a pro jazz/pop singer (30 years experience) in a large city and have found that just about EVERYONE is obsessed over having some type of high profile education..as if it affirms their existence.
Jazz is an intellectual pursuit many musicians feel, rightly so,…..(HOWEVER..We all know Billy Holiday studied at Yale…:^) so please keep your mind open..)
Just the other night I was gigging with this African American female bassist and she grilled me thoroughly before I even sang a note. Where did I attend college? For how long? Did I finish my degree?????
WELL, my dear! SHE HAS A DEGREE AND TEACHES at so and so and she lectures at so and so …blahblahblah…It was almost pathetic how much affirmation she craved.
I told her, “Honey, this is a pizza parlor. We’re getting paid a hundred bucks. Get over it.”
Jazz music is always on the fringe, and likely won’t stand the test of time, and it will always be on the fringe henceforth.
Not many jazz clubs can even survive in the most urbane US cities these days.
Jazz is for poseurs. Who else likes listening to music played off-key?
No no no, You are the one missing the joke!
The joke is that WHITE people are the ones who ASSUME that minorities get into Ivy League schools only because of their minority status and that’s the reason that they, the white, person didn’t get in.
You are way to easy to offend. Chill.
Do you really intend to suggest that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama or any other number of blacks who attend and attended Harvard and the other Ivy League schools are/were not academically qualified to be there?
Or are you just disgruntled because you weren’t good enough to gain an admissions interview?
Response:
The poor minorities and poor whites who attend Ivy League schools are bright and qualified academically. However they are the few. How many middle classed white kids get to attend? Very few unless they are exceptional, either academically or athletically. They number fewer than the minority enrollment or foreign students whose countries pay their way.
He said most blacks and that does not apply to the Obamas. Barack is an elegant guy, that is why I will vote for him, his wife is his problem, she looks kind of fat and may end up look like more of a servant of the white house.
Yeah, Blue-Eyed Columbus is actually just upset because they are watching all of the intelligent Black kids in the ivy league from their dorm room at OSU. Sorry you weren’t good enough, Lemme guess, your school is the Harvard of the Midwest?
Blacks only get into the Ivy league because of “diversity” initiatives, and anti-White activists in the admissions office.
Ha! What do we have here?
A “Denier”! In Canada, denying and falsifying the truth and hard facts about racial issues can land you in jail.
But white people love to have friends who come from “old money”. When will we see a blog about this curious phenomenon?
why is that funnY? it just is.
not all white people are rich dumbass, but yea i also hate rich people.
I went to the University of Arizona, also knows as “The Harvard of that portion of Southern Arizona that is South of the Gila River and North of the Border”.
JESUS WAS A BLACK MAN LYNCHED ITALIAN STYLE
Dude, get a life. Your meaningless posts bring down the comments section. Do you need attention? Then make a sex tape. Oh wait, no one cares about you. Fucking retard.
i agree! any person who thinks jesus could have been black has to be retarded!
Amy,
Jesus could have been brown man like Barack Obama.
do you know Moses of the bible married a black woman i.e Cushit or Nubian or Ancient Ethiopia.
Who cares?! Jesus could’ve been purple polka-dotted for all I care. Arguing over Jesus’ skin color is like saying you think the first dinosaur was a black man!
Nubian? Isn’t that a breed of goat?
Pics or it didn’t happen.
haha, so Amy didn’t read the bible. Clearly states Jesus had copper skin and hair like wool. I can’t think of any white people who look like that, can you? Well, I won’t ask you because obviously you can’t think in general.
no one cares about your comments either.
I HATE YOU TUCC!!!
Guys, guys, guys…Jesus…
…was JEWISH!
HAHAHHHA
Best musical ever.
Yale’ 10
Jewish does not distinguish between black and white. yes, European Jews are white, but Ethiopian Jews are black; thus……(you can guess the conclusion)
But where did he go to school?
Yalie: Jesus rejected judaism and so did St. Paul.
They disowned the corrupt, racist screeds of the money-changers and high priests (forerunners to today’s zionists).
Wow, it must be really lonely down there to claim such a name as The Harvard of the only existing university of that region of Arizona (also: The Harvard of Mexico). Ha ha.
Way to grind a joke underneath your heel into the ground.
I was in a conversation with a black man a few years back who told me he had just earned his Ph.D.. I congratulated him and asked him which college. His reply? L.A. County Jail.
if you’re trying to be a funny racist, can you at least try soemthing that is actually funny. You’re giving white people, even the racist ones really bad name.
Columbus is funny!
Black PhD’s in the physical sciences and math in the USA are STATISTICALLY NEGLIGIBLE. Look it up.
American born PhD’s in the physical sciences and math are negligible period. Black people are 10% of population so all things being equal 10% of a negligible number is what? More negligible.
Playa Hatin’ Degree? L.A. County Jail gives out the most of those per year (google it)
Best comment, ever
I used to want to go to an Ivy League…but then I realized I wasn’t a family legacy!
http://www.msfriendly.wordpress.com
Not so sure about this one, really richer uppper class white people still like the ivy league stuff but it is not what it used to be.
http://green4u.wordpress.com
Hahahahhahahahahaha,
seriously, what race are you?
from my Azn perspective, I feel like u r Azn?
with all the references to Azn girls, Azn food, Azn educations (UCLA, UBC, Ivy Leagues: you know too much about this, which helped my confirmation)
Obviously, sorry if I am mistaken, but hahaha this is just my guess
I went to Case Western Reserve University, the Harvard of the Midwest!
i went to Columbia the Harvard of Manhattan lol
I thought Carleton was the Harvard of the Midwest. At least that’s what the pitched to me, lo those many yrears ago.
Move over harvard… case western is here!
Slammin social scene!
This is dead on! I went to what we like to call “The Harvard of Northern Arizona.” The older part of campus actually has turn of the century red sandstone buildings and yes, IVY covered walls!
The architechture of the rest of the campus can only be described as “Neo-Stalinist,” however.
This whole blog is